chapter 3
a golden bell starts ringing, chapter 3
“What do you mean by ‘he broke it when KAT-TUN’s debut was announced’? That Kamenashi-kun did something and it was the reason for the debut?” she asks curiously.
“Be patient, please.” I smile.
“Before I want to tell you something about somebody else. Someone who meant a lot to me around that time. I often refer to her as 'the only woman I really loved'.”
There is understanding in her eyes. “Uehara Takako,” she smiles.
I nod and smile in return.
“But wait. Didn’t you say you were in a relationship with Kamenashi-kun?” she asks surprised.
“Yes, I was. But I was in a relationship with Takako, too. I got together with Kame in late 2001, not after the Okinawa trip like you may have expected. And in summer 2002 the relationship with Takako started. I still remember how I told both of them that there is someone else,” I continue my story.
“We were in her new apartment. She just had moved in there about 2 weeks ago. On the phone I had told her I needed to talk with her.
“So Jin-kun, what do you want to talk about?” she asked.
“Well, it’s a bit difficult. I mean we are together, yes?”
She nodded.
“O-ok. What I want to tell you is… there is also someone else… Ever since last December.”
She looked so surprised and shocked about that confession.
“Who is she?” she asked.
I was really reluctant to tell her that 'she' was actually a boy.
“It’s Kame.” I said eventually.
Her eyes widened “Kamenashi-kun?!”
I nodded.
“But why are you together with me when you already have him?” she asked confused.
“Cause I’m in love with you! Of course I love him too, but that’s different. Kame is Kame and you are you.”
“Does he know that we are together?”
“No, not yet. I want to tell him later today.”
She sighed audibly. “It will take some time for me to accept this, but I don’t want to lose you, so I’ll really try to accept it.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much for trying. And I’m so sorry for this situation.”
Then I left her apartment and drove to Kames home. After ringing the bell his mom opened the door.
“Ah, it's Jin-kun! Kazuya is in his room.” she smiled.
I went upstairs to Kames room. I didn’t knock, I just opened the door and walked in.
Kame was sitting at his desk doing some school stuff. He turned around when I walked in.
“Jin! I’ve been waiting for you.” Smiling brightly he got up from his chair and hugged me tightly.
I hugged him back and whispered, “Kazu-chan I have to tell you something.”
He stepped back from me and looked curious but also worried.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I-I met a girl. A-and I really like her. W-we are together since a few weeks. B-but I’ve told h-her today that I’m also to-together with you” I stuttered.
He looked really shocked and sad.
“Why are we still together when you’ve met a girl you like?” I couldn't meet his eyes, but judging from his voice he was close to tears.
“You’re right. I’m in love with her. But it’s different from you Kazu-chan.”
“What’s so different with me?” His voice was still said but also contained some anger there.
After thinking for a few moments, I gathered the courage to look in his face and said, “Because I love you. I really love you Kamenashi Kazuya.”
His eyes widened and tears were rolling down his cheeks. It was the first time I’ve said that to someone. The very first time. I’ve never had said it to someone before.
“I love you but I’m also in love with that girl. It’s so complicated I can’t even explain it. Argh, why is love such a difficult thing.”
Kind of ignoring what I’ve just said he told me “I-I love you too, Jin. I really do.”
I smiled brightly.
“And though I’m really unhappy with knowing you’re in love with someone beside me, I’ll never give you up or let you go,” he said very seriously.
A few years later I’ve learned that he had really meant it. At least to a point he meant it, otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here all alone,” I smile sadly.
I miss him so much. I haven’t seen him in real life since I’ve left the company. But I watch all of his dramas and shows on TV. What he doesn’t know is that he already sang songs I’ve written. Some of them specially for him.
“My contact person…” I begin.
“Contact person?” she asks.
“Yeah, you know, the person I give the songs I’ve written or composed to. That person told me already a few times that KAT-TUN would like to meet me since I’ve written so many great songs for them. Specially Kame wants to meet me, he said. That contact person doesn’t know who I am, he knows like everyone else only my pseudonym.
“And what did you answer to the meet-up requests?”
“I always told him I can’t. I promised myself not to meet any person I wrote songs for and he accepted that.”
“Oh I see, but you want to meet them too, don’t you?”
“A part of me really wants to meet them, explain them why I left. But they wouldn’t understand it. Not yet. Not before they have read this story. Most of the darkest parts are secrets only a few persons know about. They aren’t included.”
“And what about Kamenashi-kun? He would understand it, wouldn’t he.” It was more stating a fact than a real question.
“Probably, yes. But he has changed so much in the course of 15 years. Into someone no one wants to spend time with. Sadly I really doubt that he has any real friends.” I stared at the beautiful beach before us. “He lives for his work, not works for a living.”
Suddenly the reporter's face looks curious. “I really want to tell you something, but before I’d like you to continue your story. I’m still curious about Kamenashi-kun breaking his promise and KAT-TUN’s debut.”
I sighed. “It’s really hard to tell you this. It was something really horrible.”
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