chapter 4
a golden bell starts ringing, chapter 4
“It’s really hard to tell you this. It was something really horrible.
The day our debut was announced in January 2006 they were all very happy that we were finally allowed to. I smiled, too. But I wasn’t happy because I knew which circumstances caused the sudden debut. Kame was smiling, too, but his eyes were empty. He was probably tired from crying all night long. I was there with him holding him while he cried so much and kept apologizing.
The evening before Kame had an appointment with Johnny-san. I waited for him in the lobby. He spent all of 30 minutes in that office.
When I looked at him I was shocked. He looked so horrible. To be exact, he looked fucked.
“What happened?” I asked him.
But he only said, “Nothing. Let’s go home,” and walked towards the exit. My brief look at his face let me follow him without questioning any further. Perhaps we had better talk in quiet.
But he didn’t say anything while we drove to my apartment. I didn't know what to say either.
I had barely closed my apartment door behind me when Kame started to speak.
While walking over to the sofa, he said, “We will debut. It will be announced tomorrow.” With a heavy flap he sat down. His tone told me that he was rather sad about our debut. Not happy like he was supposed to be.
I sat next to him, now even more confused than before. “Wait, what? But isn’t that great?” I asked confused.
His whispered answer was barely audible. “Yes, probably...”
I couldn't help but ask again, “But would you tell me what happened, please? I don't know what to make of you at the moment, you look shell-shocked.” Actually, that was an understatement.
Though we sat next to each other, Kame still wouldn't meet my eyes. He chuckled darkly and said without any emotion, “When I arrived at his office, nobody was there. Shouldn't there be assistants or something? He looked at me from head to toe and simply said, ‘Let me fuck you and I will let you debut’.”
“HE SAID WHAT?!” I shouted in disbelief. Kame shook a bit on his seat, I never rose my voice so much.
“And you let him?” I couldn't help but ask although I already knew the answer.
While still staring into the empty space he just nodded.
When I came closer to him on the sofa he finally looked up. I didn't know what to do or say, so I just pulled him into my arms and held him tightly. And then he began.
He started trembling and crying terribly.
And apologizing.
“I’m so so sorry Jin. I didn’t know what to do. He said he won’t ever let us debut if -- wouldn’t do it now. I thought of -- fans and the others. I did -- for them.” He sobbed so hard that some of his words got lost.
I stroked his back to calm him but said eventually, “It was your first time, wasn’t it?”
The following silence could've been minutes, but also seconds. No sobs, no trembling. But then he started to cry even harder and tremble even more.
We sat there the whole night. He was crying in my arms and I was simply holding him. I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked I didn't even cry. After a while he whispered with a tired voice, “I wanted you to be my first.”
I felt a sting in my heart. That was the moment I had to hold back my tears.
When sun began to dawn, we had maybe a one-hour-nap. I turned on the TV, Morning News were broadcasting.
Not unsurprisingly, their breaking news were, ‘Johnny’s famous idol group KAT-TUN will debut this spring. A press conference is scheduled for 2PM.’ So it was even in the morning news programmes. All of Japan knew now.
Immediately my cell phone rang. It was our manager, speaking in a busy tone.
“Akanishi-kun, you probably already heard of the fantastic news! We will meet up in an hour for the press conference preparation. Oh, and could you tell Kamenashi-kun of the meeting too? I’ve called him a few times but only got his voice mail.”
“I’ll try to reach him. See you later.” I replied with a tired voice and hung up.”
The reporter looks shocked. Understandable, though. Good thing there wasn't a mirror in the vicinity when Kame told me. I can still feel that sting in my heart.
“I don’t know what to say. You really want me to publish that? It will probably be the end of Johnny’s & Associates.” Her voice is a bit trembling. Must be the excitement or whatever.
“Yes, I really want you to publish that. Enough time passed and since last year Johnny-san isn’t the main boss of the company anymore. I’ve heard he’s sick. Don’t know if that’s true though,” I say thoughtfully.
“Really? I didn't know. And I guess others neither. I better research about that and publish this fact too,” she says while writing something down in her notebook. How old-fashioned.
“I guess you’re right,” I nod.
While still writing in her notebook she asks, “Do you know who the main boss is now?”
“Julie, his niece. Daughter of his sister Mary” I say and the rage in my voice is obvious, talking about that person.
She hears it too. “Are you okay? Did something happen with that person or why do you sound so mad talking about her?”
I am so angry I can't help but snappishly return, “Well, if there is a person I hate as much as I hate Johnny-san, she is it. She is the reason there's this distance Kame and I had to keep all these years.”
“Oh, that’s interesting, I thought Johnny-san was the reason. Tell me about it. Why was Julie-san the reason?” Her change from shock to interest is so fast. Typically of reporters.
This is a really important part of my story. “It was in the beginning of October 2006 when it happened...”
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und weiter gehts~
