The Groupproblem
~Title: The problem~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 001~
+Akatsuki stand around a fire in a dark cave.+
Leader: We are meeting here because we have a problem.
Itachi: Yeah - we're out of nail polish again!
Leader: ... ... that's not what I meant! Our group has a problem. We are too weak to catch the Kyuubi. We need support.
Plantguy: Let's just get Orochimaru back...
+The next day the corpse of the Plantguy was found swimming in a river. Next to uncountable punches it seems he was strangled with a creeper.+
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~Titel: Recruiting new members~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 002~
+Still in the dark cave.+
Leader: What now? The Plantguy is dead, so has anyone another offer?
Kisame: We could hire someone over the Internet.
Batguy: What? So we'll have nerds running around here? Great idea...
Kisame: If they are loosers we have fresh meat at least.
Batguy: ... ... Switch the computer on!
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~Title: The new one~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 003~
+Still in the dark cave.~
Leader: Due to Kisame and the Batguy searching for new recruits, the human population has declined by 294 humans, but this special candidate seems to have potential ...
+A man comes out of the shadows. He is wearing a white shirt and ironed trousers. His hair is combed back and his face seems to consist out of pimples. He is wearing a really ugly tie, too.+
Leader: I proudly present - Dilbert!
Itachi: Woah! This is BAD! Just his appearance is worse then my Tsukiyomi!
Kisame: No shit!
Tall Guy: We're lucky he has no tentacles...
Dilbert: Hey, du you guys like manga? I like manga! *Holds up Shoujo Manga*
***
[Two minutes later]
Itachi: That was fast eating, even for Kisame!
Leader: Did you see that?! He didn't even chew the limps, he just swallowed them as a whole!
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~Title: Resurrection~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 004~
+Still in... you already know.+
Leader: Now that Dilbert has left us too we need a new member again.
???: Hold on!
Everyone: ...?
Plantguy: I have...
Deidara: Hey you were dead! I was the one who made the knot to...
Plantguy: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Everyone: ...
Plantguy: I was near death ... but then someone appeared who gave me my life back. He is mightier than all of us and he will support our group.
Leader: And that's who...?
Plantguy: Come out!
+A man with brown hair that reaches his shoulders and a full beard comes out of the shadows.
Plantguy: May I introduce: Evil Jesus!
Evil Jesus: Okay folks, i will channel some fumes in this cave to warm it up and while I'm doing that you should lie down to rest a little...
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~Title: Comparisons~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 005~
+Itachi, Kisame and Evil Jesus are sitting on a table and everyone is showing off the evil things he has done.+
Kisame: Hey, I am so evil, I slaughtered a whole town of my kinsmen. Didn't spare any women or childen, either.
Itachi: I am so evil, I killed my own family and turned my brother's life into a living hell.
Evil Jesus: So what? I created Yaoi Fangirls.
Itachi and Kisame: ...! Dude... THAT'S evil...
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~Title: Influences~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 006~
~Date: 05.12.05~
Kisame: You know, I think we should throw Evil Jesus out again.
Itachi: Why?
Kisame: He was sitting in front of Sasori's computer the whole week... I think that's bad influence.
Itachi: What do you mean?
Evil Jesus: u r t3h l00s3! OLOLOLOL! PWNED!
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~Title: Surrender~
~Category: The Groupproblem~
~Number: 007~
~Date: 27.04.06~
Leader: Since we had to kick Jesus out of the team again...
Kisame: *BURP*
Leader: ... we have the old problem again: our group is too weak.
Batguy: Allright, allright, I'm on it...
***
[623 inapplicably and eaten candidates later]
Leader: You know what? I give up!
