An urge to kill threatens my desire to live
By Sayoku
My thoughts force me to run away. Where to? I don't know. Nowhere.
Everything leads to nothing.
I lead to nothing, just as my feelings towards him do.
So what do I feel?
There's only one thing that I know for sure:
An urge to kill threatens my desire to live.
But what worries me the most, is that the longing for a killed man, is the longing to see YOU dead.
Killed by me. By my own hands, my own soul, as you can only die in my soul, when your die physically, so that you will disappear: In my heart, and in my soul.
I cannot live to see you alive.
I cannot live to see you dead.
You're a blimin' old bastard, Heero. That's what you are.
I hate you. I really, really hate you. I really, really do... love you.
But actually, all I want is your appreciation. I don't want your love, I won't get it, I won't *be* it.
Only your appreciation. Not more. Respect is all I want.
You have even stopped giving me that. What am I for you?
You use me. So now I want to use you right back.
But, I know that I won't, because I'll feel like an Idiot in the end.
There's only one alternative.
There's just one thing I can do, so you won't think I'm an Idiot.
There's just one thing I can ask you to do for me:
Crucify my love, it's all that it's good for.
Crucify ME, that's all that I'm good for.
Kill me, Heero. I don't expect more from you than that. I don't, not now anymore.
Give me peace.
Ja ne, Heero.
Just kill me.
