“Jungkook…”
“What?” Jungkook looked up from where his head lay on Namjoon´s shoulder, his eyes big and innocent.
“Get off me.” Namjoon looked around the plane uneasily, but Jungkook only huffed and snuggled a little closer. Namjoon didn´t have much space to squirm away, not in the middle seat in the poor people area of the plane. “Nope. No one knows us and we´re flying to our friend´s gay wedding. You can do nothing against my snuggles!”
He did squeak very unmanly when Namjoon poked him in the ribs but his head was back almost immediately. Of course he wouldn't stay there indefinitely, it was way too uncomfortable, but right now he wanted to enjoy feeling the freedom. The freedom of simply touching his boyfriend a tiny bit without being terrified of anyone noticing.
“This is all very cute, but could you maybe keep to your side of the seat?” Seokjin hyung leaned forward and smiled at them threateningly with his incredibly pretty face, which only made Jungkook giggle. He'd got to know him only a few hours earlier, when they had all met at the airport. Jungkook didn't count a few text messages to organize their wedding gift as a proper introduction. And after three hours sitting around while waiting for boarding, he had found out that Seokjin hyung liked to pretend he was a serious person, but absolutely was anything but that. Which was probably the reason why Namjoon insisted on sitting between them, since he had already broken up two sparring matches in the waiting area.
To be fair, Jungkook would have wrestled Taehyungie but unfortunately he was still a little out of commission from getting organs removed, and he needed all his energy for the 14 hour flight and, well, the wedding night. He giggled again, thinking about it, until Namjoon had enough and pushed him away. He did pout a little but in the end he was too damn happy to care much. Instead, Jungkook leaned forward and startled Jimin by poking him, only to be rewarded by a brilliant smile. He should've sat next to him. He was so tiny, Taehyungie and Hoseokie had more than enough space next to him. He was wiser than saying that, though.
“Are you ready?” he whispered, barely containing all his glee.
Jimin leaned forward, as if they were having a secret meeting and whispered back: “Yes.”
And that was all that he needed to hear.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Five hours later Jungkook was about to go insane. He had watched a movie, had tried listening to some music, had tried sleeping and now he was bouncing his leg fast enough that Namjoon had already asked him to sit still. He'd never traveled anywhere for so long and it was horribly boring! Seokjin hyung was immersed in watching some TV show and seemed determined to keep at it for the next few hours, Taehyungie was sleeping and Jiminie and Hoseokie were working. Editing their latest video. Sighing, he took Namjoon's hand and started playing with his fingers. At least Namjoon only grunted but let him do what he wanted. It was… it was all still a little surreal. He was actually flying to another country for a wedding. A gay wedding. Not in his wildest dreams had he imagined anything like that happening. It had made him think if… he pushed the ring on Namjoon's middle finger up and down, up and down… if maybe they could do that, too. He hadn't asked, obviously. It wasn't his moment right now and anyway, he wasn't sure if they were there yet. In Jungkook's mind there was no doubt, but Namjoon was sometimes a little hesitant.
Jungkook smiled involuntarily when he thought about that. He had barely started university when he had tried to muster up the courage to visit the LGBT organization on campus. That had never worked out, but he'd seen one tall, handsome guy leaving the office and when Jungkook saw the same guy a few days later sitting on a bench and reading, he knew it was fate. It helped that his looks alone made Jungkook's heart beat a little faster. It… hadn't been smooth sailing, definitely not. It had actually taken some persistence and persuasion to get Namjoon to even consider dating him, what with his age and the fact that maybe he wasn't even all that gay and maybe he just needed to face the fact that romance wasn't all that great as everyone said and therefore if he lacked in that department when he dated women, that was just how it was supposed to be.
Funnily enough, dating a 19 year old seemed the bigger hurdle. But they overcame it. Jungkook hadn't been very sincere with his claims that he wanted to be friends if nothing else was possible, and he was a little ashamed for it afterwards, but it had ended well. Namjoon was his first boyfriend, his first… anything, and another reason why Namjoon had been so reluctant, but it was… it was all Jungkook had ever imagined. Of course he would marry him if it was a possibility. He would adopt a dog and move to a suburb and cook him dinner every night if that was what would make Namjoon happy. But not right now. Despite living together for the last year, Namjoon was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had a boyfriend and that the world hadn't ended and that no one had found out and that they were both able to work on their careers and their families were still clueless and it was fine.
It was fine.
Eyeing Jimin again, he sighed a little while he softly pinched Namjoon's thumb. They had talked about telling their parents. This was a sore spot and he had had a few long talks with Jimin about it. Taehyung's parents were awful, but unfortunately it wasn't too surprising. Jimin preferred to keep quiet and Jungkook… he wasn't sure. He had breached the topic a few times very carefully when he had still lived at home and his parent's hadn't sounded all that supportive. When he had told them about his classmate who was maybe gay and that his parents didn't like it and what they would do, if one of their children came out.
His father had only snorted, as if the thought alone was too surreal to even consider, but his mother had eyed him carefully and said that his classmate should listen to his parents and think about if he actually felt like that or was simply having a phase. Trying to rebel. It all ended with Jungkook's brother muttering some slurs and saying that Jungkook should be careful that he wasn't getting molested from that guy and Jungkook felt particularly ill that evening.
He needed the money though. The apartment he had rented with Namjoon was tiny, one room, barely enough space for a bed they could both fit in. A lot of excuses why they lived there together when family visited. Without the money from his parents he couldn't even have that. He couldn't make enough with a part time job to finance it. Telling them… wasn't worth it.
He leaned forward, until his forehead touched Namjoon's hair and whispered: “I love you.”
Namjoon hummed, half asleep, and squeezed Jungkook's hand.
Namjoon had actually wanted to tell his family, right away when their relationship got serious. In his opinion, if he committed to something he should commit to it with all he´s got. It helped that he wasn't financially supported by them. He always claimed they were liberal and open minded. But… maybe he was selfish, but if Namjoon told them and they decided that liberal views were for other people's children and Namjoon felt pressured and wanted to be a good son and left him… it was fine as it was. They could wait. Just a little longer.
Of course there were days when they were fighting, when Namjoon thought he had to be the surrogate parent and scolded Jungkook about not studying enough or Jungkook accused Namjoon that he spent more time with his job than at home and if he even loved him anymore and they didn't even have enough space to get out of each other's hair to cool down again, but… in the grand scheme of things, that was nothing.
As it turned out, the hours could pass relatively quickly when he started imagining the little house he would buy, the pets they could have, how they would decorate it, how he would talk Namjoon into working out with him, how… how their own wedding would look like. Yes. It made time pass by very, very quickly.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Las Vegas was intense. After their seemingly endless flight it took another age to get everything done at the airport, before they finally managed to get on the bus that took them into the city. They were all tired and exhausted, but without Namjoon it would've been even worse. No one spoke any significant amount of English… Jungkook had secretly beamed with the praise the rest of the group loaded on his boyfriend, and if he still felt up to it he would show his gratitude later.
The hotel they were staying at was nothing fancy, but it was nice enough for a few days. Unfortunately, everyone except Jimin and Taehyung would only stay until Monday morning. It hadn't been possible to get more days off and Jimin had scheduled the wedding for Saturday so that they could nurse their hangovers on Sunday. The happy couple though would stay a few more days for their honeymoon.
And despite his plans… after they had organized dinner, Jungkook only managed to shower and fall into bed. At least it was decently sized. When Namjoon got in next to him and turned off the light, Jungkook rolled over, hugging him close.
“Hyung, you're the best.”
“What? Why?” Namjoon giggled and Jungkook felt himself drifting away.
“Gonna blow you. Tomorrow. Okay?”
Namjoon giggled again and he was out like a light.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It wasn't a church. It tried to look like a church, but like if a kid got a description and recreated it with glitter pens. It was full of blinking lights and fake flowers and some soft music coming out of bad speakers. Namjoon felt the sudden urge to leave and never get back, but instead he suppressed the loud sigh that was about to come out of his throat and followed the others in. He was told that the… the church had some Korean speaking priest, so at least he wasn't any longer needed as a translator. He hadn't wanted to ruin the mood and had kept quiet, but if he was honest it had been horribly exhausting taking care of all communications.
When they entered, the gaudy lights multiplied and Namjoon was sure there were some traces of disgust on his face. Jungkook on the other hand bounced around as if he was in heaven. The happy couple though who were discussing something with a young asian woman looked a little shell shocked. Nervous. Namjoon had taken a cab together with Taehyung, who had been suspiciously pale. It could've been the cancer. Or the nerves. That on the other hand seemed perfectly reasonable in Namjoon's opinion.
“Baby, look over here!”
Namjoon didn't react immediately, not used to being called baby in public. When he finally did, startled and trying to ignore the blush that was spreading over his cheeks, he saw Jungkook standing under a flower arch that had a blinking sign in it, throwing differently coloured flickering lights all over his face. Not that Namjoon noticed, not when Jungkook was smiling so brightly it was more blinding than all the lights in this sorry excuse of a church. He smiled back, a little shy, and when his thoughts drifted off, thinking about Jungkook standing in a suit at the end of the room, he pushed it away very gently and firmly. That was... for another time.
Jungkook bounced over to him, where there luggage waited. He was the designated camera man. They could´ve booked it at the venue, but he knew that the whole thing had been expensive enough already and they all agreed that they would do a better job themselves. Namjoon felt a little guilty over the thought, but he was also glad that Jungkook was occupied. Even if they were on another continent witnessing two men getting married, he... he didn´t feel comfortable with Jungkook forgetting all his boundaries.
When he wandered over to Taehyung and Jimin, both dressed in suits that looked a little ill-fitting and were probably left overs from school days, he heard the asian woman talking excitedly in slightly accented Korean.
“So we can start immediately if you are ready!” She beamed at them and then at Namjoon, who smiled politely. “Are you a groomsman or guest?”
“I... guest. The one.” He held up a finger and she laughed adorably. “Alright then, but you can stand at the altar as well, if you want to. I mean it´s not that formal here anyway. Ah, I´m so excited, it´s my first wedding!” She giggled and left, while Taehyung and Jimin started to fix their outfits nervously.
“Are you ready?”
Taehyung only nodded, his hands shaking, but Jimin smiled brightly, although a little wobbly. “I can´t believe we´re here. Isn´t it amazing?”
Seokjin hyung came over, rubbing Taehyung´s shoulders, and Hoseok was bouncing with nervous energy next to the altar and maybe it looked like a bunch of desperate people celebrating a farce underneath cheap fake plants, but his heart started beating a little faster and he felt the warmth spreading through his stomach, he knew that it was perfect and beautiful and that it was theirs.
“Who is walking who to the altar?” he asked instead.
“We´re going together,” Taehyung said. “Don´t want to start being heteronormative now.” And he grinned and he looked alive and well and so so eager. No sense in waiting any longer, so Namjoon went to stay a little on the side, not wanting to sit down and watch the rest of them like an outsider. He barely knew those people, but... it didn´t feel like it. Not anymore.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“You can kiss your groom now!” Hoseok had a hard time seeing what was going on, with all the tears obscuring his vision. He had started when Jimin and Taehyung had walked down the aisle, hand in hand and so nervous and so happy and even if Taehyung´s friend had rolled his eyes, there was nothing he could do. It didn´t take much for him to cry anyway, and knowing that he witnessed something magical here he only bawled harder. Even the korean girl who stood in for the priest had tears in her eyes.
Jimin giggled nervously, and Taehyung smiled so brightly it had to hurt. They were both still reluctant to kiss, even in front of their friends, until Jimin lifted his hand and hid their faces, but Hoseok saw perfectly fine from his spot. He wouldn´t have thought seeing two men kiss would make him so happy. Jungkook was slowly walking around them, getting photos from every angle until Taehyung and Jimin let go and they all fell over each other to hug them.
“You want to take your wedding photos now?” If Hoseok remembered correctly, her name was Jessica. She pointed at the flower arch and finally they all moved, getting ready for a lot of gaudy pictures.
“You better make sure they are perfect!” Taehyung stared daggers at Jungkook, but he only laughed and shrugged and started arranging them for a good shot. Hoseok had been at two weddings before, one of them his sister´s, and although there had been way more guests and an actual church and a couple dressed in expensive clothes it hadn´t been... it hadn´t been like this. He looked at his friends, new and old, and everyone was laughing and happy and enjoying the moment. It couldn´t get any better. This was... perfect. Quickly wiping away his tears before Taehyung´s friend rolled his eyes again, Hoseok shouted: “Hey Jungkookie, let´s make a photo of you and your boyfriend!” He laughed when Namjoon turned a brilliant shade of red, but he only resisted mildly when Jungkook handed over the camera to Taehyung and got into position.
Yes. It was perfect. It really, really was.
When they got ready to leave, about an hour later, Jessica came over again. She didn´t look mixed. He wondered why she had a western name, though. “Are you guys going to a restaurant now?”
They all stared at her until Jimin finally answered. “Yes. Did you... want to come?” He sounded unsure. Not that Hoseok knew if that was a thing in America, so no blame here.
“No, I didn´t... I didn´t want to invite myself!” She laughed and waved it off. “Okay, this sounds weird I guess but when my boss told me some Koreans would fly over to get married here, and that it was a gay wedding I was so excited I got a license to marry you myself.”
“So... that was actually legal? Like, you didn´t do it because the priest didn´t want to?” Hoseok asked. He wouldn´t have been surprised if he hadn´t wanted to wed the gay foreigners.
There was a flicker of worry over her face, but it was gone quickly. “No. I´m sorry you thought that. This wasn´t religious, so women can do it as well. But that´s... what I actually wanted to say was that it was great having you guys here and I can offer you a ride to your restaurant, if you want.”
Jimin frowned, and Taehyung looked somewhat confused as well. “But... why?”
She smiled softly, putting her hair behind her ear. “Usually we have drunk couples, not something planned like this. And I mean, I´m kinda... I´m bi, and my parents aren´t the biggest fans of that and since you don´t have any family with you I figured it´s the same, and I just want to... contribute. To being happy!” She pumped her fist in the air and Jimin started laughing, the one that made him bow down until he almost lay on the floor and when he finally got a grip again and checked with Taehyung, he shrugged and said: “Sure. You should come as well, there will be lots of alcohol.”
“Alright, let me call my boyfriend real quick!”
When they all shuffled out of the building barely fifteen minutes later, already excited for the food (korean barbecue, their wedding gift together with a few days at the hotel) Hoseok felt as if he was part of something bigger. Something beautiful. Something that united people from completely different places on the planet and if anyone thought that was wrong, they could all go fuck themselves. Hoseok had never been particularly invested in LGBT rights, he had always thought everyone should just do what they wanted and keep it private, but for the first time in his life he actually wanted to go out and tell everyone how it meant so much more to love when it was so hard to get just a little of what every other couple could do easily. Taehyung´s friend, Seokjin, came over shortly before the car arrived, grinning at Hoseok.
“Wouldn´t have thought I would ever feel like a minority.” He chuckled softly.
“Does it bother you?” Hoseok didn´t want to ruin the mood, but if that guy wanted to gossip with the other straight one right now, he was ready to throw hands.
“No. Funnily enough, it doesn´t bother me one bit.”
Hoseok nodded, still frowning suspiciously, and the car arrived.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jimin hadn´t lied about his promise of sufficient amounts of alcohol, and it didn't take long for most of them to be on their way to become completely wasted. Seokjin didn't participate much, keeping Taehyung company who didn't drink anyway and probably couldn't, for whatever kind of medication he was getting right now.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” As the evening progressed, Taehyung didn't hide his exhaustion anymore and he barely managed a faint smile when he looked up at Seokjin. “Good. It's my wedding day.” Seokjin ruffled his hair against the loud protest and when he was done, he leaned a little closer. “I know you're not well. And you barely ate.”
Taehyung shrugged. “Nauseous. Don't worry about it.” After a second of hesitation, he finally leaned in, resting his head against Seokjin's shoulder. “Thank you for coming. I know you paid for the hotel. I... appreciate it.”
“Don't thank me for that, Taehyung-ah. You gotta get spoiled on your wedding.”
It hadn't bothered him, paying more for the gift than the rest of them. He had the money. He would have offered to pay the flights as well, if he hadn't known that he couldn't hurt all their pride that much, but... if the money would make sure that Taehyung would be well again, he would have given it without a second thought. It was still hard to believe, that his air-headed friend who seemed to have no worries in the world would have to fight to see the next year. That in a few measly months he would be gone, with his loud laughter and his stupid ideas and his atrocious fashion sense. Seokjin had friends, lots of them, but Taehyung had always been his favorite. The special one in between all the friendly acquaintances. The one he could rant about how hard his job was without fearing that he would be told again to shut up, if you have so much money and still want to work you've got no right to complain.
Seokjin carded his hands through Taehyung's hair. It was getting a little long.
It still... stung. That he hadn't trusted Seokjin enough, to tell him of this whole other life he had. And now that they were finally open and honest with each other, he would...
He laughed, and Taehyung probably thought he was happy and smiled at him.
He was glad though, that Taehyung had someone else. Even if he was a coward, even if thinking this made him a bad friend, he couldn't help but be relieved that Taehyung wouldn't solely rely on him during this time. Seokjin wasn't sure if he could handle it. It was already feeling like too much.
“We should get you back to the hotel. I think Jimin is drunk enough already.”
He was hollering on the other side of the table and after a few seconds, Taehyung pushed himself up and nodded. “Yeah, you're right. Let's go home.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Monday was a lost day. They said goodbye to their friends, Jimin still too hungover to do much. Monday evening though, they managed to catch up on their wedding night. And for just a few seconds, Taehyung could ignore the pain and simply feel love love love. And when Jimin smiled at him, he knew it wouldn´t get better than this.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Taehyung was stroking Jimin's hair, both of them breathing softly while some movie was running in the background. They didn't pay much attention, they just enjoyed the peace. Not thinking, not doing, simply... being.
“Tae... I don't know what I will do when you're not here anymore.”
Taehyung stopped, looking down at Jimin, but all he saw was the mop of black hair, tousled from his fingers. He wrapped his arms around Jimin, pressing him close against his chest while he kissed his head, over and over again.
“It will be fine, Jimin. I promise. You're so so strong. You will be fine.”
You have to be. For me.
