Keep me
Disclaimer: Saiyuki und die Charas gehören nicht mir, sondern Minekura-sama und dem Verlag (oder was auch immer XD) ich verdien hiermit auch nichts ^^
Warnings: NC-17, lemon, irgendwie sinnloser sex XD nya o.O angst ein wenig ^^
Notes: Ich bin ja eigentlich nich so ein Hakkai x Sanzou fan, aber mir war einfach danach ^^ viel spaß ^^
btw die fic is englisch, weil ich englisch lieber schreibe und das auch in "internationaleren" fanfic foren posten wollte ^^
Keep me
~~~~~~~
In your life you have control over some few things: what you eat, where you live, or how you earn your money, as an example. But most things in life are just out of the reach of our hands. You can't control whether you're lucky or friendly or an asshole. You cannot control things like career, where you're talents lie, your love, whether you are straight or gay, without betraying yourself and live in a lie. Fate's going its own way, and you cannot have absolute power over your life without ceasing to be honest to yourself, the people you love and the world around you. Some people think, they can control it, think they can control others. Nonsense.
He sighs and leans back; pushes away those thoughts. His head's again resting on a smooth, alabaster coloured chest. Next to him is the front-page of a two day old newspaper.
The man who's reading sneaks one hand around the newspaper and slides his finger lovingly through the silky strands of his black hair.
It's one of those few moments he shows what he's like, without his firm mask of arrogance and self-confidence and pissing off everybody in a one-mile-radius around him.
"Did you like it?" sounds his low voice questioningly through the newspaper.
"Yes." He sighs and closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers through his hair. He can be so cute, so gentleman-like.
Love comes from acceptance. Do I love him?
"Did you like it?" He opens his eyes again and looks at the newspaper, as if he could see right through it.
The man and monk called Sanzou seems to slide back into his ordinary moody manner and grumbles. "You heard me, didn't you?" But then he sniggers in a very un-ordinary way. "Hell, yeah, I did." He shortly lowers the paper to smirk at him, before continues to read.
How can anyone carrying a high priest title, swear like that? He doesn't keep on that trail of thought; it leads to nothing and nowhere.
My life's here and now, no need to think about the past or the future.
"Sanzou...?"
"Hn?" The pale, slender hand slides down his neck and the fingers caress his soft skin.
"What do you feel about me?" He closes his eyes again and purring sounds rip from his throat. He hears how he puts the paper away, feels how he leans forward. Gentle lips press onto his, but pull away too soon. "About you? I feel... the urge to ram you to the wall, Cho Hakkai." He kisses him again, deeper, tongue darting out, trying to get in contact with his. Hakkai pulls away and takes his face into his hands.
"Seriously, Sanzou..."
"I think...I love you..." He leans down to kiss him and he lets him this time. He wraps his arms around his neck and opens his mouth invitingly. Sanzou drags him up and embraces him tightly, their mouths and tongue moving in a fast dance.
The position is rather uncomfortable, so he shifts a bit, until he semi-rests on Sanzou's lap, and supports his weight by placing his right hand on the opposite site of Sanzou's hips, and puts his free hand on his cheek.
Sanzou breaks the kiss and starts to nuzzle the delicate skin of his neck, his growing arousal digging into his back.
Hakkai moans and throws his head back, murmuring: "I think, I think that, too, what you said, you think..." He sniggers, but coughs as Sanzou bites him, having a sudden fit of dominance.
I want to love him, so he can love me.
Sanzou pushes him off his legs and his lap onto the futon and kisses him deeply, pressing him into the pillows.
He returns the kiss shortly before rolling over and straddling Sanzou's hips and unbuttoning his shirt.
"Get the hell off of me..." Sanzou says softly and grips his hips.
"I really don't think you want me to, do you?" He doesn't wait for an answer but leans down and kisses his lover gently. He takes his still opened shirt off and pulls the nasty garment also off Sanzou's silky skin.
Sometimes he's got those fits of dominance; normally he's uke, but now, he wants to be top, needs to be top. And his blond lover lets him. Sanzou sighs and spreads his long legs and lets him settle between them. He raises his arms to his head and looks at him with this seductive smile, he wears when he wants to be fucked, as if to offer himself, and Hakkai can't refuse the present. He leans forward, places little kisses on his lover's chest, piercing one little, rosy nub with his fingers, while licking the other.
Sanzou moans, his fingers clutch into his hair. Hakkai inhales Sanzou's unmistakable scent; sweet and sharp at the same time, mixed with the smell of his favourite after -shave. He loves that smell, it makes him feel save, makes him feel 'at home' wherever he is.
I wanna be your first and your last. I don't want anybody else to love you. I want you to be mine.
He softly scratches the little hard nub with his teeth, making his lover cough and goes down further, licking and sucking, leaving his marks, as Sanzou leaves his. He can still feel where he bit him not more than half a hour ago.
His fingers fumble shortly with the buttons of his lover's jeans; they are not a difficulty. After having opened them a hundred times and more, he's used to it.
He drags the pants down Sanzou's slim hips and down his long legs and he helps with arching a little off the bed.
Hakkai licks his lips and lets his hand slide over the blond's tight abdomen. Sanzou sighs and shifts his hips a bit, to show him what he wants. He wouldn't ever say it aloud; it would sound like begging. Sanzou's not the one to beg.
Hakkai chuckles and bends down, slowly licking just the tip of Sanzou's length. It is already moist with pre-cum. He licks it away and gently slides his tongue into the little slit right on the tip, making Sanzou nearly scream. He takes the tip in between my lips and sucks hard. He feels the other one dig his fingers into his hair, as he tries to push him down farther but Hakkai keeps on his own pace. A part of him wants Sanzou to beg. Another part of him wants Sanzou to feel good.
I want to feel you, like you felt me. Don't send me away.
He relaxes and then takes the other man quickly and fully inside him, massaging every part of his arousal, as he slowly swallows.
Sanzou screams that time, hips bucking up and repeating his name. Hakkai...
He pulls back, takes him out of his mouth and places a kiss on the tip. Sanzou's now moaning constantly.
Hakkai sits up and wiggles out of his own pants, grabbing the tube on the bedside-drawer, and settles again between his legs, lubricating two fingers. He glances at his lover while he parts his legs wider, deliberately teasing his entrance with one slick finger; Sanzou's smiling at him this enormously peaceful smile, that makes his heart want to burst.
He smiles back and carefully slides a finger inside, massaging his inner walls. Sanzou bites his lip and then nods.
He starts slow pumping, in and out, his finger mimicking something much larger, much better. He's looking for something, *that* spot, and as Sanzou screams and bucks back onto him he knows, he's found it. He adds a second finger, stretching and preparing his lover, not wanting to hurt him.
I'll save you. I want to make you feel good. I'll push your pain away.
Sanzou's coughing gets louder, little screams ripping through the pattern of his steady moaning-panting-rhythm.
He's ready, he can feel, hear and see it. He withdraws his fingers from him and slides into the right position and lubricates his erection.
He slowly shoves inside, taking Sanzou inch per inch, needing all his self-control. Sanzou moans and bites his lip and then pulls him close for a long and gentle kiss. Then he raises his legs, grips shoulders and hisses into his ear: "Fuck me already, Hakkai..." Yes, that's the Sanzou he knows.
Love comes from acceptance. I accept you.
Hakkai pulls out again and pushes back in, making the other man moan in frustration over his slow pace.
He pushes back in, builds up a rhythm. Sanzou's so tight, so hot, so perfect. He grips his hips and lifts him a bit, changing the angle, so he hits every stroke that one spot inside his lover.
Sanzou moans and thrusts back, his eyes shut tightly.
Hakkai coughs; has it ever felt that good? He doesn't know, he knows nothing but that incredible heat that is Sanzou. His shoves get harder, faster shorter, pushing him higher. Sanzou's tightness is gripping every part of his length, it feels so right.
He buries his face in his lover's neck, his coughing and moaning wetting the soft skin. His hears himself scream, hears Sanzou's short, nearly female cries. His fingers dig into his shoulder, as Hakkai's fingers dig into his hips.
He pounds harder, feels how Sanzou arches up from the bed, meeting him now every thrust. His cries fill his head, making it fuzzy. Their screams getting louder, as their bodies move against each other, again and again...
"Hakkai..." He feels his teeth dig into his shoulder, fingernails cutting his skin, and wet, hot liquid on his belly. Sanzou moans his name again, pleasure flowing out of him, white and hot. His muscles clamp around him, dragging on his control. He pushes harder, faster, shorter, coughing loud, almost screaming. He feels as if he would explode from the pressure, from the fire building up inside him. His hips jerk one last time and he does explode, screaming Sanzou's name, his body burning. He feels how he empties himself inside Sanzou, how he leaves his marks. Slowly the fire burns down, absolute pleasure leaving him, being replaced by a wonderful feeling of satisfaction and comfort. He doesn't move for a long time, still pants against the delicate skin of Sanzou's neck, who's stroking his hair and his back. He just can't move, he doesn't want to, too.
I accept you, I love you.
After what seems to be an eternity he carefully withdraws, puts his arms around Sanzou and pulls the blanket over them.
Minutes later he hears the low breathing of his lover; he's fallen asleep.
He wants to sleep too, his eyes are already closed. But there are thoughts in his mind, that keep him from doing so. He sighs. Everything seems so clear now, it always does, after sessions like this, and it always ceases to do, the next morning when he wakes up and the world's spun another circle, without him noticing it. But at the moment it doesn't matter to him. He feels free, he feels save, he feels at home, as he smells, tastes and feels Sanzou next to him.
I love you, don't send me away. Keep me.
~Owari
