Ich hoffe die FF gefällt euch….ich hab mir viel Mühe gegeben….
Das Pairing ist mehr oder weniger Jun X Iori…
UND : kommis sind natürlich die pure liebe xD
BGM: phantasmagoria->… lost in thought
( ach ja…die jungs gehören sich etc.pp. )
Back to where we started
Exhaling the smoke into the deep blue nightly sky he walked down the street.
He was on his way to see his ex-boyfriend. They broke up a few months ago after realizing that their relationship didn´t work. It was not that they hadn´t been loving each other….it was just….something wrong between them…..and none of them knew what exactly it was.
He was glad that they were able to stay friends…..although Jun seemed to suffer a lot under their break up….no wonder….he had been Juns´ first love.
He was worried at first…Jun had never been that stable mentally. But the weeks gone by and Jun was back to himself again…noisy and annoying at one point, but very cute on the other side. Jun never failed to make Iori smile if he wanted to.
While walking down the street he reflected a conversation they had a few weeks ago…Juns´ mental state hadn´t been the best…..
Flashback~
“Hey cutie…..what´s wrong with you? You were so quiet all evening…I am a little worried…..” Iori had said.
“It´s nothing.” Jun had answered.
“You were always bad at lying at me…..so stop it and tell me what´s going on.”
Jun remained silent. As always…..he hated to talk about his problems or his feelings. Despite his normal talkativeness… when it comes to serious matters...he remained silent…..trying to figure everything out on his own. Iori had always hated that. A topic about which they had been fighting quite a lot.
“Ju-hu-n…..come on….I now you pretty well enough to notice that you are not okay….and by now you should know that I won´t stop asking that easily.”
Jun had smiled sadly. “Yeah…”
“So? What is going on in this pretty head of yours? Why are you so miserable?” Iori had asked and started to caress Juns´ left cheek.
“Well….one reason is sitting in front of me and caresses my left cheek.”
Iori sighed.
´When will he get over me? How should I treat him if he still wants me back?`
“Oh cutie….you know that we don´t work out as a couple….and I don´t want you to hate me one day…what if we come together now….and break up in a few weeks for the same reasons as we broke up now? We would have the same discussions and it would hurt as much as it does now…..I am not saying that I don´t miss you as well…and there are still feelings left for you….but that doesn´t change it….”
Jun remained silent. Iori knew that Jun searched for the reasons for the break up by himself. He had never been as self-conscious as he pretended to be. He had always been full of self-hate, insecurity and the anxiety of loosing someone he loves. AND…although he would never admit it….he nearly always felt very lonely.
“And….stop being so secretive….this destroys you…..you don´t have to cope with everything alone….you have friends that care about you…..and they would help you if you would let them….we all love you. And we won´t leave you….I won´t leave you.”
End of Flashback~
~**~*~*~*~*~*~
Jun stood on his balcony smoking and waiting for Iori to arrive. Since their break up they hadn´t been seeing each other that much and not once just the two of them. So….to be honest…he was a little nervous. He exhaled the smoke and tried to calm himself.
`cool down…it´s just Iori….no need to be nervous`
It didn´t work out. He was still nervous. It wasn´t because he thought about winning Iori back….he gave up that hope some time ago. He knew Iori wouldn´t come back to him. But he had had some problems accepting that fact. Iori had been his first love and he still cared a lot about him. So he had been trying to win him back….and made a total fool out of himself….and…he had been drinking a lot lately…AND he was surely killing his best friends´ nerves through his random babbling about Iori…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
While turning around a corner he asked himself if Jun had believed him.
Actually he doubted it…..since Jun was still quite quiet when all of them were going out… and he drank a lot.
Not to forget that his dear ex-boyfriend had always been moody….grinning and laughing at one day…the next could have been a total disaster, with Jun hating himself and everyone else. In this kind of state he wouldn´t talk to anybody……
Iori sighed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
`Gosh…I am horrible`
He shook his head and lit another cigarette.
The fact that Iori had been able to get over him that fast did hurt him. He couldn´t understand how he managed to do so…..to be honest…Jun felt unloved….it made him feel as if Iori never really loved him at all…but he knew that this wasn´t true. Iori would never be able to play with his feelings like this.
´Or at least I hope so`
“Gosh Jun stop it already! He loved you, you know that!” he said to himself looking up into the deep blue sky.
He had sworn himself to become his old self again….funny, joking, annoying Jun.
He never wanted his friends to worry about him….and mostly he never wanted Iori to be worried about him. There was no reason anymore….He was fine.
Still a little unstable sometimes…but fine.
In this very moment the doorbell rang.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“HEY IORI” screamed Jun when he opened the door and smiled warmly at him.
`What the heck?`
“Come on in, it´s cold outside.” Jun went on babbling, while dragging Iori into his living room. Iori was slightly surprised to see Jun in such a good mood.
´Is he just acting like that or does he really feel well?´
“Hey…you´re in a very good mood today.”
“Yeah….so what?”
“Nothing….I am just surprised…..but seeing you happy makes me happy. Although I have to admit that I am a little suspicious….”
`Maybe he is just a very good actor`
“You don´t have to be…I am fine….really.” Jun grinned.
“Mmh…if you say so…”
“Indeed! I do!” Jun was still grinning. “Sooo….my dear ex-boyfriend….what kind of movie do you wanna watch?”
`Should I believe him? Or should I still be worried?`
“Earth to Iori! I don´t like to be ignored you know that.” Jun said while hitting him on the arm.
Iori laughed. “Yeah….I know that quite well!”
“SOOOO…answer my question…or you´ll have to watch a movie that you don´t like.” Jun grinned.
“Oh no….let me see what you have.” Iori said while walking over to Juns´ cupboard to check the DVDs.
Jun watched him silently. A soft smile appeared on his features. Now, finally, they were back to normal again.
He surely missed him. But he knew that he would never loose Iori completely. He was his friend and would stay by his side, no matter what happened.
And with this thought he walked over to his friend to help him finding a movie they both liked.
