Warm Snow (Part 1)
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
Chapter 4: Warm Snow
“Would you please be so kind and tell our listeners what you plan to do during the Cherry Blossom Festival, Kaioh-san?”
Michiru glanced at the white and rosé shadows covering the trees outside the radio station in Tokyo and smiled.
“What every Japanese is doing right now: Having a picnic with my family and friends.”
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“Welcome.”
Setsuna grinned as she opened the big door that lead them into a big garden. Haruka quickly looked around and could see at least twenty cherry trees in blossom. The garden that surrounded a big, white house looked well-tended. The grass was incredibly green and trimmed. Some dark blankets laid on the ground in the sunlight and she could smell delicious food, although she could not define if it came from the house or if its source was somewhere else.
Elza was already sitting on one of the blankets, holding her daughter in her arms. Little Hotaru did what she was best in: Sleeping. While she wore her normal baby clothes, her mothers had decided to wear something more traditional: Kimonos. Sestuna’s was of a deep green, matching perfectly her hair while Elza had decided for a screaming orange one. Her grin told the blonde not to say something about her choice of clothes for she would regret it. Or maybe the young woman simply wanted to have a reason to banter. Or maybe it was her fashion style. Haruka couldn’t define. She had been in Hashitzou’s crew for three weeks and only seven days in Tahiki’s orders. Of course she had learned that those two women were indeed Michiru’s best friends, that they were indeed lovers and that Hotaru was indeed their daughter. However, that didn’t mean that she knew them.
That’s a nice place.
Because the Three Lights and Kaioh Michiru couldn’t simply walk into a park and have a picnic in peace without being recognized by fans, they asked some of Michiru’s friends if they could have their traditional picnic in their garden. Her friends immediately agreed, however, Haruka couldn’t see anyone else, no matter how much she craned her neck.
“Where are the others?” Michiru looked around in an asking matter and frowned. She, too, had decided for a kimono, but hers was a deep blue, perfectly matching her beautiful blue eyes. It had silver cherry blossoms all over it and the obi was also silver. The young violinist shimmered mystically whenever she moved in the sun’s bright light.
“They went with Usagi-chan to the hospital.” Answered Setsuna, but her casual voice and her still smiling lips calmed Michiru even before the panic could spread throughout her body.
“Why? What happened?”
Setsuna sat down next to her girlfriend and clapped excitedly with her hands. For a moment she looked like a small child, rivalling her little daughter.
“Usagi-chan’s pregnant!”
There was a moment of stunned silence and then Michiru shouted for joy and did a little happy dance, at least she tried to hobble around in her kimono in a very pleased way.
“Finally! Chibiusa-chan’s on her way.”
“And all of them had to go to the hospital?” Sejya shook his head disapprovingly and leaned against a trunk. Some pink cherry blossoms floated around him, but he didn’t even notice them. His mood seemed to have dropped below zero from one moment to the next.
“Guess it’s a girls’ business.”
Guess it’s an Inner Senshi business.
Michiru shrugged and carefully went on her knees next to a huge basket. She looked into it and grinned mischievously. It looked like Makoto, the best cook Michiru had ever met, hadn’t forgotten them, even though her duties lay, of course, with her future Queen. The bentos looked simply delicious.
“You could have warned us; then we’d have brought some flowers.” Said Tahiki who wore, just like Yaten, a dark Yukata. Only Sejya didn’t like the Japanese traditions and therefore refused to wear anything else than his red suit. Tahiki who knew that it was infertile to argue with his younger brother about earthly costumes, let him be. He was content with Sejya’s attendance in their little private Cherry Bloom Festival.
“Oh, you’ll have enough opportunities to give the lucky parents flowers, chocolate and baby clothes, don’t worry. Just let them be in the hospital today and drool over ultrasound pictures and stuff like that.” Calmed Setsuna the oldest brother down and smiled happily up to him.
“You’re talking from experience, huh?”
“Right!” The young woman took her still sleeping daughter from her girlfriend and watched her for some seconds in silence. “Right…”
“Chibiusa-chan? How do you know that it’s going to be a girl?” Haruka knelt down next to Michiru and peered into the basket. She liked what she saw and only wondered briefly where that strange appetite had come from. Food had never been important to her, at least not during the last, the final year. Often she forgot to eat for days until one of the nurses or the doctors reminded her to eat something if she wanted to stay at his side. Now she could actually feel her stomach rumble and started to look forward to a big, lively meal with Michiru and her friends, and sometimes even with the Three Lights. She didn’t worry about her weight for she knew that she was underweight. She was only surprised how quickly things have changed. Only a few weeks ago she had been terrified by the thought of the Cherry Blossom, fearing that she wouldn’t stand the memories that’d await her in every corner, in every tree, in every pink blossom. But right now she was together with these people and the memories weren’t as strong and as hurting as she had expected them to be. At least not right now. Not when she was with them and listened to what they talked about.
He would have liked the Cherry Blossom.
Haruka raised her head and squinted through the white and pink blossoms to the clear blue sky. It was perfect weather to have a picnic.
He would have liked them.
“Guess it’s female instinctive. Usagi-chan always wanted to have a baby girl so that we all expect it to be a baby girl.”
Michiru shrugged her shoulders, not knowing how to explain a fact so obvious to someone so ignorant to their Senshi powers.
Because we’ve seen Chibiusa-chan before.
“What if it’s going to be a little boy?”
“A little boy?” Michiru looked at the blonde as if she’d never even considered this option.
“You mean a baby with such cuddly toes and tiny hands and such a lovely belly button?” babbled Setsuna, already drifting into baby talk as she did so often when she talked to her little daughter.
“Are you talking about Usagi-chan’s baby or about our own daughter?” deadpanned Elza and raised one eyebrow as Setsuna blushed slightly.
“Doesn’t matter.” Helped Michiru her best friend out. “We’d love him nonetheless.” Even though they knew that it was going to be Chibiusa who would be born this very year, Michiru knew that she would love every child born in their crazy patchwork family. She would adore any other child belonging to them, no matter if it was going to be a Sailor senshi one day or not. She would worship Makoto’s children as much as Tahiki’s, providing they’d find his princess one day. For she could not imagine ever having children on her own. At least it had been a taboo since her partner had left her.
Now, however, she began wondering if she really needed that partner. Hadn’t Uranus said she’d quit? Was it worth waiting for her? Did she want to wait for her?
Michiru glanced at Haruka, saw the surprised look in dark green eyes, saw the shy smile on a still too pale face. Hopefully the sun would give her a little bit of a tan after the winter’s long dark months.
Maybe she had already stopped waiting long ago…
Probably they would have liked him just as much.
“So that it’s settled that the others are at the hospital, let’s start our festival and eat!” Setsuna looked longingly at the basket and nodded in agreement as her girlfriend lifted the lid and started to take out their bentos. Obviously, Makoto had outdone herself, again.
“Why don’t you wear a kimono?” asked Elza, handling her hungry lover and mother of her daughter a bento, asking herself when she had decided to be a parent to two children. Critically, she looked at Haruka who had opted for black jeans and a black t-shirt instead. At least her t-shirt was plain and there were no words like Hashitzou’s Crew or Three Light’s Crew or simply Crew written on her upper part of the body. Sunglasses were put in its neckline and a black cap dangled from a dark belt. Haruka looked slightly out of place between the white and pink cherry blossoms floating through the warm spring’s air. She looked very much like the bodyguard neither of them actually wanted to have.
“I don’t look very good in those.” Admitted Haruka and pointed at Sejya. “And I’m not the only one who’s not in traditional clothes.”
“Mind your own business.” Sejya’s eyebrows twitched dangerously. He obviously was in a very bad mood.
He’s probably disappointed that Usagi-chan’s pregnant.
Yaten lowered his head and looked at the bento on his lap. Suddenly, his hunger, his appetite and his own excitement about this day were gone.
Now he’ll surely have no more chance to give her the come-on.
“Sejya. Sit down.” Tahiki’s voice was calm and he smiled at his smaller brother and handed him his bento, but he looked him warningly in the eye. This was their day off between concerts, interviews and rehearsals. Whatever was wrong, Sejya wasn’t going to ruin it for them.
“Whatever…”
“She doesn’t like kimonos.” Giggled Michiru, not having noticed the tense atmosphere. “She told me about her mother trying her to wear a kimono.”
“But you didn’t like them all too much, either, did you?”
“No.” Michiru giggled even louder in fond memories which were also partly Setsuna’s memories for she had been Michiru’s close friend all those years. Bestest friend, as she always put it. “Of course not. No one in their right minds at the age of three like kimonos. You can’t run in them, you can’t jump and it takes ages to get them on and off. Oh, and you are never ever allowed to dirty them, because they’re so expensive.”
“And now you like them?” Tahiki opened his bento and liked what he saw. The rice balls had the form of little hedgehogs and the tomatoes looked like toadstools. Makoto obviously had had a great time preparing them, probably with her boyfriend’s help, a famous chef. Rei always joked that he was almost as talented as Makoto, always causing the Senshi of Thunder to blush in embarrassment and the young man in mock anger.
“No, but now I can pay the cleaning.” Answered Michiru honestly and shrugged her shoulders, laughing softly. Her cheeks were redden and she really seemed to enjoy herself. Setsuna who could sadly tell the few times Michiru had laughed so happily during the past years, had lost count during the past week. The young woman reminded Setsuna of the Michiru she had known all her childhood and even after she had taken the henshin and faced her destiny as Sailor Neptune. It was only after her partner had betrayed her, had hurt her so badly that Michiru changed and hardly ever smiled. Now, however, those hard, suffering years seems to be completely forgotten. Even if it was only for the moment, Setsuna knew that Michiru would always treasure the memory of this afternoon.
Whoever she is, she seems to be good for my Michi-chan.
Setsuna studied Haruka who grinned at the young violinist’s response and started to tell her a tale about her mother and the kimono too white for a three year old girl and a big oak tree with branches you could climb so easily and have a great view from its top.
I’ve hoped he’d stopped thinking of her when she married her Mamoru.
Yaten stared at his bento, feeling suddenly very sick. He knew that he had to eat in order to swallow the last of the pills the doctor had given him weeks before. The physician had told him to take them all for not getting ill again, even if he was feeling much better. But right now only the thought of food made him heave. He had been looking forward so much to this day and now it seemed to get worse every second.
“Hey, everything alright, little one?”
A warm hand covered his icy one and blue eyes looked into his light green ones. He blinked and needed some time to see that it was Sejya who was suddenly sitting right next to him on the big blanket. His own bento laid forgotten next to his knee as he leaned over to his smaller brother.
“Are you cold?”
I mustn’t get ill again, or else he’ll be really angry with me!
“I’m fine.” He whispered, but he wasn’t able to suppress the shiver running through his body. Yaten winced as he heard his older brother’s soft sigh and looked up in surprise as a warm garment was hung around his shoulders. The younger man studied the red jacket and needed a second to realize that it was Sejya’s suit jacket.
“But…”
“You don’t need to play the hero, little one. If it’s too cold for you or if you feel not well, tell me, okay? We can always go into the house. No one will mind.”
All Yaten could do, was to nod in silence, stunned by his brother’s sensible speech. However, the impression was quickly ruined as the lead singer turned around and threw a half hearted insult at the blonde who quirked her eyebrow and responded equally insulting.
“Guess you simply wanted to spare us the sight, baka.”
“Of course. You’re my role model, idiot, I’d do whatever you do.”
Haruka was one of the few people who ever spoke back to him. She didn’t treat him like a holy celebrity and was able to dodge his various insults with another insult of her own. Sejya would have never admitted it, but he enjoyed the bantering. He enjoyed having a real conversation with someone who didn’t only want to have an autograph or talk to him about his music and his voice. That Haruka wasn’t in the least concerned about her job and didn’t fear to be fired helped a lot.
“Then climb that tree and jump down, breaking your neck.”
Sejya didn’t really mean his words. Neither did Haruka.
“Only if you show me how to do that.”
“Makoto-san really did a great job.” Interrupted Tahiki one of their arguments to which he got used to during the past days, and pointed with his sticks at a small white hedgehog.
“Hai, we’ll have to call and thank her.”
“Yup, we have.”
For a moment they thought in silence of their friends who were at the hospital right now, looking at the first picture of their future princess, Chibiusa-chan, who would be one day Hotaru’s best friend. As they both had been before. In another time. In another life. Before Sailor Moon was able to defeat Mistress 9 and rescue Sailor Saturn, giving her a new life with loving parents.
Michiru looked at the still sleeping girl, watched a cherry blossom flying weightlessly down on little Hotaru, staying on her little right hand.
She had told me that everything’s gonna be alright.
Of course Sailor Moon had talked to Sailor Neptune after Sailor Uranus had simply walked away, abandoned them all, especially her partner by the stars. She had told the Outer Senshi not to worry and to have faith in the future. Then, the Senshi of the Ocean hadn’t believed her words, hadn’t, couldn’t trust her Queen.
Now, however, when she looked at Hotaru, at their little miracle sleeping safely in her mother’s strong arms, she wondered if Sailor Moon was right. After all, she had known that she would be able to save Sailor Saturn, as she was now determined to find the Star Lights’ princess. Michiru never doubted that she would be able to find Kakyuu, no matter how long it took her. Sailor Moon might be a clumsy girl, but she was a powerful queen, their most powerful Senshi. One day, she would even be able to defeat Sailor Galactica and bring peace back to the brothers’ galaxy.
Why can’t I believe her, then?
Michiru’s attention returned to their lunch as Setsuna started another tale. A story about how she met Elza and behaved like a total fool; the way she still acted, as Elza ensured them all. Setsuna blushed and they all had to laugh. The Sea Senshi turned her head and looked at Haruka sitting next to her, holding a little toadstool between her chopsticks and giggling at Setsuna’s tale, often interrupted by Elza’s explaining words. The blonde’s cheeks were slightly redden and her hair messed by the warm spring wind. Some cherry blossoms got caught in her strands and without thinking Michiru leaned forward to stroke the warm snow out of incredibly soft hair. It might look untamed and wild, especially in the morning when Haruka took care that they all ate at least some breakfast, which of course the hotel served at nine o’clock, much too early for their own licking, but almost too late for their tight schedule. But it felt much softer now that Michiru felt the strands between her fingers.
Almost like velvet.
Haruka frowned, but didn’t shrink back from her touch. Instead, she slightly turned her head and looked questioningly at her, smiled in understanding as she saw the white blossoms in Michiru’s hands. The young violinist softly blew them from her hand and watched them taking their course again and flying away.
“… and then I had the chance to ask her out and…”
“… and you utterly and completely ruined it.”
“Hush! Don’t take away all my cliffhangers.”
“That’s not a cliffhanger, that’s a fact, my beauty.”
Haruka paid Setsuna’s story her full attention again, finally eating the mushroom shaped tomato. Michiru, on the other hand, only listened half-heartedly to her best friend’s words. She watched Haruka, silently hoping for another white blossom to get tangled in Haruka’s hair so that she had another excuse to touch the blonde again.
Maybe Sailor Moon’s right…
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After they had eaten their lunch and Setsuna nursed little Hotaru, the conversations became fewer and softer. It was around two in the afternoon and the sun was shinning and the trees rustle in a calming, in a peaceful way. They all laid down on the big blanket and looked up to the blue sky, enjoyed the warm rays of light to warm their bodies. Soon their thoughts slowed and they became tired. It had been a hard last week with four concerts in a row, endless interviews and rehearsals every day. They tried to get enough sleep, but after a concert they were always too excited to sleep immediately and the alarm always went off too early the next morning. Now the stress was catching up and Michiru fell asleep, her head unconsciously leant against Haruka’s shoulder who had her eyes closed, as well, enjoying the peace of this garden, listening to the trees around them. Setsuna held Elza in her arms who in turn held little Hotaru softly tight. They both hadn’t slept much, because little Hotaru woke them up in the middle of the night. Not only once, but four times. Each night. Right now the baby was sleeping like a little angel and so they used their chance to give themselves enough rest to face another sleepless night.
Tahiki, on the other hand, decided to read a the latest music magazines. They did quite a lot of interviews and he wanted to see how they transcribed them into plain Japanese earthly teenagers probably spoke. The oldest member of the Three Lights knew that he couldn’t change the interviews once they were written, however, he wanted to see what answers were misinterpreted to avoid them in the future.
I shouldn’t wear that tie again.
Tahiki wasn’t arrogant or self-centred, but he looked at the pictures next to the text, nonetheless.
And Sejya could try to shave, for a change, even though he thinks it looks cool.
The young man looked up as he sensed the movement next to him. He saw Sejya gathering a sleeping Yaten in his arms and slowly standing up. Upon feeling his brother’s eyes on him, the lead singer slightly turned his head.
“I’ll take him inside before he catches another cold.” Whispered the young man and nodded at Tahiki’s words.
“That’s alright. I’ll call you when those guys wake up again and decide to do something else than snoring.”
Tahiki and Sejya grinned at each other as Setsuna, as if to prove his words, actually started very, very softly to snore. Then Sejya carefully made his way over the blanket and towards the big house he already knew quite well. Since they had discovered each other’s identities and started to fight together against Sailor Galactica, Usagi had insisted them to be friends and had treated them accordingly. Often they had been invited to the other Senshis’ homes and knew that whenever they had enough from their concerts and their hotel rooms, they could stay in Usagi and Mamoru’s house. It was very big, too big for the newly wed couple, even if they had a child on their way, now. Sejya suspected that they didn’t buy such a big house, because they were the King and Queen of the future Silver Millenium or because they could afford it and showed off now. No, they bought such a huge house to have enough rooms for all of them in case they needed a place of refuge or simply to stay for a night.
Not only for the Inner or Outer Senshi, but also for us…
Sejya pushed the entrance door that was never locked open and entered the house which always seemed to be filled with light. There were big windows overall and at the places where there weren’t, photos covered the white walls. Sejya could see Usagi and her friends smiling down on him as he walked along the corridor. On some pictures he could see himself and his brothers, as well, mostly looking serious or singing to their fans. Mamoru loved to take pictures and used his camera whenever possible to add some new pictures to the always growing sea of frames. Today he was with his wife in the hospital to have a look at completely different shootings. Sejya mentally made a note to take some pictures after their afternoon nap. He, too, had a camera, after all.
For a moment Sejya stopped near a wide staircase and considered going upstairs and taking one of the guest rooms, but then decided against it. Instead, he walked over to the big living room. The wall facing south consisted only of glass, leading to the terrace. Right now the sun was shinning into the room and Sejya could still hear the trees rushing through the ajar glass door. Nevertheless, it was warmer inside, and more peaceful. The lead singer ignored the TV set and the flowers standing in a vase on a big table near the glass wall. He walked straight over to the white couch that, sure enough, looked quite messy. Secretly, Sejya loved this house. He would have never told Usagi or Mamoru, but they had a nice home. It was clean and stylishly furnished, but at the same time it was obvious that someone lived here. A dark blanket was on the ground before the couch and the pillows were in a mess. A book was opened and Sejya knew after one look that it was one of the romantic novels the young woman with the wide smile and the two blond plaits always liked to read. Probably, she had taken a nap and simply didn’t care to tidy up when her beloved husband called her, intending to return to her couch and her novel soon enough.
Obviously, she hadn’t thought of their awaited guests at that moment and Sejya liked the messed couch even more. He didn’t like people who lived in museums and hardly ever touched their furniture, and got a heart attack when someone else touched them or, even worse, caused a scratch or a spot. Sejya knew what he was talking about; he had more than one crazy family member on his father’s side. People he had never liked, nor had his father, for that matter. He believed children should run around freely and be noisy and allowed to cause some chaos, as long as they didn’t damage anything or hurt anyone. Sejya’s uncle Sebustyan, of course, had disagreed and it had been Yaten who had to suffer his wrath, even though Sejya had done the misdeed.
After that incident Sejya had never said another word to his uncle and made sure to stay near Yaten whenever they had to visit that dreadful branch of their family.
I haven’t been able to protect you, then.
Carefully, Sejya put the smaller man down and bowed to grab the dark blanket. It was soft, Kashmir, just what Usagi liked. Silently, he watched Yaten sleep and gulped as the smaller one curled, shivering. So he had been cold, even though he didn’t want to admit it. Didn’t want to tell his older brothers, probably didn’t trust them any longer, at least not Sejya who had been so rough, so unkind to him during his last illness, not really knowing himself why he reacted the why he had.
I guess I’ll never be…
The lead singer raised his head and saw the pictures on the wall over the couch. Almost all of them had been taken during Usagi and Mamoru’s wedding; she a real queen in a white dress and he her knight in a shinning armour, or better, in a black tuxedo. They both looked so happy that it made Sejya jealous. No, he hadn’t been disappointed to hear that Usagi was pregnant. He had never been in love with Sailor Moon; he had only wanted to piss off the other Senshi, especially Sailor Mars who could be so amusingly loud when she was angered. Maybe he had also wanted to piss off his older brother. To rebel against his authority and against his plan to sing all those stupid songs in order to search for Kakyuu. Of course Sejya wanted their princess back, however, he didn’t like the shape which their quest took. In the beginning, he didn’t want to stand on a big stage, singing love songs to hundreds and then thousands of strangers while he still had to fight with his own feelings, with his own fears about their parents, their galaxy, their future. Nevertheless, he sang, hoping to find their princess soon. However, weeks turned into months and months turned into years without any trace of Kakyuu.
Yaten falling ill, repeatedly, didn’t help much, either. Sejya could recall one evening during their first Japan tour when they had screamed at each other, all three of them. They had come very close in actually beating each other and Yaten did what he had always done when he felt uncomfortable at home, or even frightened: He ran away. Of course he intended to come back, but he needed to get out. He went to a small public festival where he heard Kaioh Michiru’s violin play for the first time. Miraculously, he convinced his brothers in inviting Michiru for a rehearsal, which saved them, their mission and their sanity.
Then they learned that Michiru was Sailor Neptune and the other Senshi found out that they were the Sailor Stars. Sejya’s first thought had been that everything was over now, but then he learned that the other Senshi were on their side, fighting against Sailor Galactica, as well. Suddenly, there were people who shared their battles and their fears. They weren’t alone any longer on this strange planet and even though they needed a long time to understand it, they had found very nice and extremely loyal friends.
They hadn’t found Kakyuu, yet, but Sejya knew that it was only a matter of time. It had to be! He had seen what miracles Sailor Moon could perform and if she wasn’t able to defeat Sailor Galactica and help them find their princess, then everything was lost.
Sejya didn’t want to think that everything was lost.
No, not as long as she’s on our side.
The lead singer sighed and finally averted his eyes from the laughing young woman on the pictures, throwing a bunch of flowers, cutting into a three-storied wedding cake, kissing her love in the church of the neighbourhood.
She’s with the person she loves.
Sejya had never had a real crush on Usagi, but he envied her for her family, for her nice husband and for the child that would be born next winter. The lead singer couldn’t see such luck for him. Not in his future. Not for himself. He knew that his older brother was suffering right now, but as soon as they’d have found Kakyuu, this life, this wonderful future would be his, as well. For Sejya, it would always be blocked for he would never be with the person he loved. Ironically, that wasn’t even Sailor Galctica’s fault, but the fate’s, or, as Sailor Moon would put it, the stars’ responsibility. And probably his own stupidity for falling in love in the first place.
Can you fall out of love again?
Sejya didn’t know. He had tried for long years now without success. Sometimes he would have given anything for being the person again he had been over a decade ago. When he still had been a child. A spoiled brat who only caused trouble and who really wanted to have a younger brother to play pranks with on the sometimes so annoying adults. A little brother who would team up with him against an always too serious Tahiki. Yes, he wanted to have a younger sibling who was different from his strict parents and his sometimes boring older brother. He was given Yaten, who, indeed, was different…
Sejya lifted the warm blanket and gently covered his little brother’s sleeping form with it. He hesitated for a moment and carefully touched the younger man’s forehead with his right hand. No, the fever hadn’t returned, although they had to take care of Yaten to not catch another cold so easily, even though spring had brought a milder weather with it. The lead singer knew that Yaten was sensitive to cold weather, or at least what felt too cold for his body.
I should know that.
As Tahiki was supposed to know. Back at their home planet they had always taken care of their little brother and except for a very heavy flu shortly after his arrival, Yaten had never been ill. That he caught one cold after another only proved how much they were occupied with the Three Light business, their search for princess Kakyuu and their battle against an always menacing Sailor Galactica.
We shouldn’t forget him over those problems, no matter how big they are.
Because if there was one thing they had learned from their escape over five years ago, it was to take nothing for granted and to treasure the people you loved, for they could be gone tomorrow, taken away just like their parents or Kakyuu.
So why can’t I live to this motto?
“Sej?”
The soft voice startled him and as he looked down he could see two tiny light green eyes blinking sleepily up to him.
“Go back to sleep, little one.” Whispered Sejya and wanted to pull his hand away, but Yaten seized it weakly, holding it tightly by his chest as if he were holding his old teddy bear he had once possessed as a small child. The one that probably burned when Sailor Galactica set their castle on fire.
“But it’s our day off…”
“The rest is taking a nap, as well, you won’t miss a thing.”
“Hm…” Yaten wasn’t listening to him any longer. He had already closed his eyes and his steady breathing told Sejya that his little brother was again fast asleep.
That’s me, singing love songs to millions of listeners, and yet I have no idea of what I’m singing about. Pathetic.
The Three Lights’ lead singer stared for a long time at the hand that was holding his weakly tight. It would have been easy for him to slip it out without waking Yaten, but he didn’t want the younger man to wake up later and be alone.
Really pathetic.
Therefore, he made himself home on the thick carpet in front of the couch and waited. And watched his little brother sleep.
dbdbdb
“They look beautiful.”
He was holding a cherry blossom in his small hands, looking up to her, smiling brightly, although even this motion hurt. An IV- drip was connected to his thin arms and a mask helped him breathing. Nevertheless, she understood what he was saying.
“Yes, they’re wonderful, aren’t they, Aki-chan?”
Slowly, she knelt before him and took his tiny hands in her own, holding them tight, warming them in a comforting way.
“They’re soft and warm. I like them.”
“I like them, too.”
“They’re like snow, Haru-chan. They’re like warm snow.”
“In Japanese you have them everywhere, not only in the parks. People go out and have picnics and enjoy the Cherry Blossom Festival, as it is called back home.”
“Cool.” His light green eyes grew wide and she gulped as she saw him picturing the scene in his mind, picturing himself in it. Running around, catching falling snowflakes that wouldn’t melt, that wouldn’t hurt his sensitive skin that wasn’t used to cold air. Running around without stumbling, without falling, without being out of breath.
Just being a normal boy.
“I want to go there, Haru-chan! I want to see this warm snow in Japan, in mommy’s country.”
Mommy’s country.
He was able to say it without any sadness in his voice, without any regrets, only with a silent longing to someone who was missing in his life. Someone he couldn’t remember.
“We’ll go there, Aki-chan. Next year we’ll go there.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, little one.”
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Haruka opened her eyes and looked directly into a blooming cherry tree. Some blossoms got lose in the warm spring breeze and danced in a contrasting white against a blue, endless sky. The blonde was slightly out of breath as if she’d run a long distance only seconds before. And it felt like a damn long distance. Her body trembled slightly and she had to force herself to lie calmly on the blanket and not to jump up and run. As she had done so many times before, although she knew that it wouldn’t change anything. Not even if she’d run till the end of the world.
Promise?
Haruka fished for her sunglasses and put them over her burning eyes. Suddenly, the sun was shinning a little bit too brightly. Her head started to hurt and for a second she closed her eyes, only to open them wide again, because she didn’t want to fall asleep again. Not here, not yet. This was supposed to be a great day out with the Three Lights, Michiru and her friends. To have a picnic and do whatever they had planned to do once they all had finished their afternoon nap. She didn’t want to freak out and ruin it.
Promise?
Of course she had promised to take him back to Japan for the next spring. For this season, right now. Not knowing that he wouldn’t live long enough to see the trees standing in full blossom, to be covered in warm snow, as he had called it.
Promise?
It had been another promise she couldn’t keep. Another one she had to break. Like so many other promises…
I wish I could have shown you all this.
Haruka gulped and now looked at the world through dark glasses. Suddenly it all seemed to be strangely realer, the colours deeper and clearer.
You would have loved it, little one.
A warm body snuggled up to her right side, breaking her dark thoughts. Very slowly, Haruka turned her head and saw Michiru lying next to her on the blanket. She was obviously fast asleep and had embraced the blonde’s arm, probably mistaking it for her pillow. Her kimono was slightly crumbled and curly strands had escaped her slides that looked like big cherry blossoms. Her face was slightly redden and she smiled in her dreams.
Suddenly, Haruka had the bizarre desire to embrace the smaller woman, to bury her face in her shoulder and to cry. To search for comfort in those so tender looking arms, and maybe even finding it there.
However, she knew that tears didn’t change anything. She’d learned it the hard way four years ago. Crying only made her weak and she hadn’t been allowed to be weak. Not when she had wanted to take care of him. When she had wanted to save him. Then, last autumn, she had allowed herself to weep upon his death, but after this terribly long and dark night she hadn’t had the strength any longer to cry. All during the funeral and the weeks and months that followed she felt too weak and her eyes stayed dry.
That’s why she was surprised to feel them burning, to actually feel herself longing for comfort from a stranger who only slowly turned into a friend. Into a friend she had never wanted to have again. But a friend, nonetheless, for she couldn’t imagine to go on without Michiru’s music and, she had to slowly admit to herself, without Michiru.
Still, it’s senseless, meaningless, stupid!
Haruka took a deep, shaky breath and turned her head away from the younger woman’s peacefully sleeping form. Instead she studied the tree over her again, started even to count the branches and leaves she could recognize from the small distance.
Promise?
Get a grip!
Promise?
Right at that moment little Hotaru decided that she had slept enough and that she felt hungry and wet. Her silent whimpers turned into angry screams quickly and Haruka already debated to stand up and change the little girl’s nappies, as Setsuna yawned and sat up. Lovingly, she brought her daughter into her arms and started her baby talk. Carefully, the young woman stood up and went into the house. Elza, whose fire red hair stuck out in all directions, first rubbed her eyes and then the rest of her face. After a long yawn she came to her feet, as well, and started to follow her lover.
“So, you’ve finished your little nap?”
Tahiki’s voice sounded amused and he put his magazine down.
“Suppose.” Elza yawned again and shrugged her shoulders. Her orange kimono was also slightly crumbled. “Too little sleep during the last nights.”
“That’s alright, we didn’t have much, either.”
“Guess, we’ll change her nappies and Sets will nurse her, and then we’ll continue our day off, how does that sound?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Karaoke.”
“Sounds great.”
Both of them were grinning at each other before Elza turned around and went into the house, as well. Tahiki shut his magazine close and rose, as well. Quickly, he brushed the dirt from his Yukata and glanced over to the two women on the blanket. He bent down and carefully shook Michiru’s left shoulder until the young woman stirred.
“Whazup?” she whispered and didn’t seem to be embarrassed at all that she had snuggled so close to the blonde.
“Hime-chan’s awake and the nap is over, Michiru-san. I’ll just wake my brothers and then we’ll do some more valuable free time activities inside the house. Be in the living room in ten minutes, okay?”
“Okay.” Michiru yawned and opened her eyes just for a small slit to watch him retreat. Then she settled back into the nicely dark, warm and cuddly world she had inhabited only moments before. “Valuable free time activity?” she whispered sleepily and giggled softly. “That means karaoke.”
“I can’t sing.” Confessed Haruka in a strangely low voice. Michiru thought that she sounded cute so sleepily and grinned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept so well.
“Don’t worry, neither can they.”
“Hey, common, they’re the Three Lights.”
“Exactly, my point.”
Haruka watched Michiru in silence, not knowing how to decipher her strange words. Ten minutes later Tahiki called them. Fifteen minutes later Setsuna actually came and grabbed their arms to drag them into the house.
Even though Haruka was still shaken from her nightmare, she would have liked to stay a little bit longer with Michiru on the blanket, staring up to the cherry blossoms and feeling the warm body next to her own.
Promise, little one.
Near the young violinist her memories seemed to be a little bit more yellowed, a little less hurtful.
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Today it’s only a small update. Sorry, but I my life is really busy right now and therefore I didn’t have so much time to reread more of the story to put it online.
Furthermore, I didn’t want to upload 40 pages in one go, but I couldn’t cut right in the middle, because the karaoke part alone takes 20 pages (that’s what you’re going to read next week :). Let’s see if you agree with my choice of songs, then.
Thank you again for all your great reviews and expect the next 25 pages of chapter 4 next Monday.
April
