English Version
All was white. The car was merely creeping along the snowy mountain path and Sota was intently staring outside to not lose track of the road in front of him through the steamed up windshield.
“Sota-kun!”, a call suddenly came from the passenger seat and made him wince.
“Sota! Oi, Sota!!”
“What is it for God’s sake? Did something happen?”, he interrupted Naoya’s calls and took a quick look at the young man next to him.
“I think I just saw a deer. It was standing all alone back there in the snowy field. The perfect moment for a landscape picture. Too bad I couldn’t get out my camera fast enough.”
The words were spluttering out of Naoya’s mouth and his eyes were sparkling. Sota just shook his head and focused on the road again.
“And you’re making a fuss over something like that? You know I have to concentrate here, ne? It would be really helpful if you didn’t burst out in screams of ecstasy every time you see something outside..”
Naoya looked down and shut his mouth again.
“Gomen.. won’t happen again.”, he mumbled and turned his gaze back to the window.
“It’s okay..”, Sota responded and a little smile flitted across his face.
This guy really was incorrigible. He had never met someone who could get so excited over such small matters. Okay, his cousin also squealed with joy when he gave him a can of soap bubbles on his monthly family visit but he was only five..
And then this incident last week. At three o’clock at night the phone rang and Sota was already imagining all kinds of horror scenarios from car accident to heart attack until he sleepily picked up the phone and heard Naoya’s breathless voice that was telling him ever so proudly that he had just seen a whole bunch of shooting stars in the night sky.
Why had he asked this big kid of all people to spend a skiing weekend with him? Well, actually he had planned to bring Kimeru along but the fine Mr. Pop star had been too busy again and had cancelled at the last moment. To have Kime-hime as a friend sometimes was more lonely than to stand on stage all alone during a five minute solo.
And why had Naoya even accepted his offer? Sota knew exactly that Naoya was afraid of heights… and of big crowds of people… and of women for that matter.. And he probably even left the light on at night so he could fall asleep.
Yeah, this could become one great weekend..
Naoya loved the winter. On a cold winters day he just loved to take a walk outside and stroll through the streets until his nose was burning from the cold.
Such a white snow scenery had something so fascinating but at the same time so peaceful about it. As if nature was sleeping to get a rest from the exertions of the past year.
That’s why he had been so enthusiastic when Sota had asked him to come along for a skiing trip in the mountains.
Okay, he had never been standing on skis in his whole life and he already got dizzy when he had to stand on a ladder in order to change a light bulb but the chance of spending a weekend with Sota in a isolated mountain hut surrounded by nothing more than powder snow made him forget all his worries and he was so happy that he would have loved to embrace the entire world. But such an emotional outburst probably would have made his driver throw him out of the car right there on the spot and drive on without him.
The mountain top was already in sight and the path began to wind its way more an more. Naoya still hadn’t said anything and so Sota had turned on the radio to somehow break the silence but in this height the interferences got steadily worse and only the off-switch could prevent possible brain damage.
Sota heaved a deep sigh and rolled his eyes as he liked to do when something didn’t go the way he planned.
“Have I offended you?”
Suddenly interrupted in his thoughts Naoya turned his head and looked at him in surprise.
“Nani?”
“Are you mad at me or why are you silent as a fish?” Sota repeated his question without taking his eyes off the road.
“Ano.. but you said I should be quiet so I wouldn’t disturb you.”
Sota was totally flabbergasted and nearly crashed straight into the next snowdrift.
“But.. listen, I didn’t mean it like that. You wouldn’t jump off the next bridge if I told you to, right?”
The moment where he had expected an answer or any other kind of reaction to his question got longer and longer and so Sota suspiciously asked again.
“Right?”
Naoya still seemed to be thinking about his question but at some point he seemed to have reached a conclusion.
“Well, if you had fallen in and it would be to save you..”
“You’re weird..”, Sota mumbled while shaking his head and accelerated a little to get up the next slope.
“People tend to say that..”, Naoya replied and swallowed.
He really didn’t like this constant pressure on his ears. But in the next moment this feeling was completely forgotten and his eyes lit up.
“Look ahead! Is that our hut?”, he called out excitedly and pointed his finger in the direction where now Sota, too, could make out a small cabin appearing in front of them.
“Haa~i, that’s my uncle’s cabin. When I was little we used to come here every year.”
”Hontoni sugoi..”, Naoya whispered and shifted even further from his seat to get a better view.
“Wait ‘til you see it from the inside..”, Sota said with a smile and brought the car to a halt in front of the cabin.
He opened the car door and stepped out into the snow. A freezing cold wind was immediately blowing around his legs and he pulled his coat closer to shield himself from the cold. As he looked around to the other side Naoya caught his eye who was spinning around beaming and whose eyes where shining like those of a child on Christmas Eve. That guy..
Maybe this weekend wouldn’t be that bad after all..
After they had taken all of their luggage out of the car and Sota had given him a little tour through the cabin which was actually quite comfortable Naoya was now standing in the living room and sceptically looked himself up and down. He didn’t possess any clothing fit for a skiing trip so Sota had lent him one of his own ski suits but Naoya couldn’t help worrying that his outfit might be a little too short. Well, maybe he was just imagining things.
To get a more informed opinion he started looking for Sota who had also withdrawn somewhere to get changed. The door to his room was slightly open and from the inside loud music mixed with enthusiastic though not always perfect singing reached Naoya’s ear. After a short moment where Naoya thought about the important question whether or not he should invade Sota’s privacy like this he pulled himself together and slipped inside as discreetly as possible.
He immediately knew why it had taken Sota so long to get changed. In front of him a very rare species Aoyama Sota only dressed in his underwear but with woolly ski socks was dancing around while giving his booty a good shake.
At first Naoya was stupefied by this unusual sight. Then he just wanted to run away. If Sota saw him like this he would think that he was nothing more than a perverted Peeping Tom who only had accompanied him to jump on him at night or to sniff his underwear when he was in the bathroom. But he just couldn’t get himself to move away and besides, he actually quite enjoyed the show.
When Sota started head banging and doing little pirouettes Naoya really had to keep his mouth shut with his hands to not burst out into laughter. Ballet was something different but it was still very entertaining.
Suddenly Sota who until now had been jumping around like blind opened his eyes and his gaze fell on Naoya who was still standing in the doorway watching him. He stopped dead in his tracks and both of them were staring at each other with their mouths wide open.
This wasn’t a good situation. Why was he here? Why did he come into the room without knocking? Would he even have heard if he had? And why the hell was he dancing around like a madman in his underwear when he knew exactly that his visitor was waiting for him in the next room? So many questions that were spinning through Sota’s head at such speed that it made him dizzy.
Clearly embarrassed he looked down and asked himself if it was still worth grabbing some clothes to at least hide some exposed body parts. On the other hand, Naoya probably had been standing there for a while now and during their time at the TeniMyus they had seen each other’s underwear more than once. So this shouldn’t be such a big deal but it still felt uncomfortable.
Sota raised his head to say something but his mouth decided not to obey. The person opposite didn’t seem to be doing any better. Naoya was chewing his lower lip in embarrassment and tried to avoid Sota’s gaze as best he could.
During all this time which probably didn’t last longer than a minute but felt like a little eternity to both of them Sota’s CD-player had been merrily playing along and now decided to turn on a new song. Without warning the first tunes of Joe Cocker’s “You can leave your hat on” started blaring out of the speakers and made cold shivers run down Sota’s spine.
Why did this song that was played at 99,7% of all cheap strip shows had to be used as background music for this already screwed-up moment? Could things get any worse? Why didn’t people actually die of embarrassment?
Just as he was about to hit himself on the head to get rid of all these annoying questions he caught sight of Naoya who started to gently wiggle his hips to the rhythm of the music. Sota raised his eyebrows and looked at him questioningly but when Naoya waved his arms around like a snake charmer with a mischievous smirk on his face he couldn’t help roaring with laughter.
“Pervert!”, he panted between fits of giggling.
“Epileptic!”, Naoya replied who was laughing so hard that he was already crying but still swinging his hips to the music.
“Your pants are too short!”
“At least I’m wearing pants!”
The first afternoon went by in a flash. At least Sota thought so. After both of them were fully dressed and he had shown Naoya how to wear his skis the right way round they set off together to make use of the last sunbeams of the day. First he had taken his friend to the ski run for pros and had a good laugh over the expression of horror on Naoya’s face when he told him that this was the beginner’s run. Then they had tackled the real ski-jump and Sota spent the whole afternoon sharing his extensive skiing knowledge with Naoya.
Okay, Naoya acted a little clumsy at first but at least he always got up again without grumbling when he fell on his knees or backside. He learned quickly and after a few hours Sota believed that he could already see first improvements.
When it started to dawn, Sota-sensei ended their first training lesson and the two of them headed home. After a while, two wrapped up and worn out figures entered the cabin and Sota went right into the kitchen to put the teakettle on. Naoya, however, sank onto the sofa and closed his eyes.
He had never felt this shattered in his whole life. His face was burning. He had a fierce headache and every bone in his body was hurting but the thing that troubled him the most was that he couldn’t feel his feet anymore.
Sota had assured him from the start that his too short pants wouldn’t be a problem because he was still wearing thick socks and boots but he had still felt the freezing cold wind blowing around his legs and making his feet go numb.
He hadn’t told Sota about it. Sota had been so keen on teaching him something and hadn’t given up even after he messed up the easiest run for the fifth time in a row. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful but now he didn’t dare to take off his shoes because he was scared that his feet might come off with them.
When Sota came back from the kitchen with two steaming mugs of tea he gave him a weak smile and tried not let his miserable state show.
“Don’t you want to take off those things and slip into something more comfy? You’ll never get warm like that.”
Sota flopped down onto the opposite armchair and began to peel himself out of his boots.
“This was a great day, ne? I think you really made progress. If it goes on like this we can start doing slalom tomorrow. Or do you want to try out the death ramp?”
Sota was chatting on merrily like this until he noticed that Naoya was suspiciously quiet and didn’t even move a muscle.
“Daijoubu? Did your mouth freeze shut?”
“H-ha..”
During Sota’s little small talk Naoya had still been hoping that the feeling inside his feet would come back eventually. After all, he was in the warm now. But all warm thoughts didn’t seem to help and now panic was rising up inside him and he was choked with fear.
“S-sota?”
The other man gave him a questioning look.
He would think that he was completely nuts. Or at least a total wuss.. Maybe he should just keep everything to himself and stay in this position until morning. His toes would probably be rotted off by then but at least it would spare him the embarrassment. But his fear finally got the upper hand.
“Boku wa.. ano.. I know this probably sounds really stupid but.. I think my feet are frozen..”
At first Sota was actually quite amused about his friend’s comment but when he noticed that Naoya wasn’t joking he got worried, too.
“Honto? You’re not feeling them at all? Since when? Why the hell didn’t you say anything? This really isn’t a joking matter!”
Without hesitation he kneeled down on the floor in front of Naoya and began opening the buckles of his boots.
“Just scream if it hurts.”
Naoya clenched his teeth, leaned back his head and closed his eyes again.
If he had to become an invalid today at least he was in good company.
From a distance, he could feel Sota tampering with his feet somewhere down there and after a moment he heard his friend gasp for breath. There were sounds he would have preferred to hear right now.
“They’re completely tense! And somewhat blueish.. Can you move them?”
Naoya’s brain was desperately trying to send orders to his feet to get them to at least move a couple of millimetres but all begging and pleading didn’t help.
“It’s not working..”, Naoya whispered and he could feel tears rising up to his eyes.
“I can’t..”
He could feel that Naoya was afraid. And he couldn’t blame him. It had to be awful when your own body didn’t obey you anymore. And he felt guilty somehow. If he only hadn’t asked him to come along. This guy was just too polite to complain even if his body turned into a living icicle.
But accusations wouldn’t help either. In this situation he had to stay calm to encourage his scared friend.
Sota sat up and put his hands on Naoya’s knees.
“Don’t worry. We’ll have you fixed in no time! I’ll just get a bowl of hot water for your icy feet and soon you’ll feel as good as new, believe me!”
Naoya kept his eyes closed and just nodded in silence.
Slowly Naoya began to feel like he was being transported back to his own childhood. Sota was behaving just like his mother when he had been sick as a little boy.
First he had helped him to slip out off his ski suit. Then he had wrapped him up in blankets. After that he had put his feet in hot water and force-feed him a hard drink. Okay, his mom had never gone for the last part but at least it warmed from the inside. Well, in parts at least..
If he hadn’t been too busy going through the biggest panic attack of his life he might have actually enjoyed the situation. But this feeling even exceeded the fear he had gone through when his mother had once forgotten to pick him up from the crèche at the mall by accident. And even then, the staff would have nearly adopted him on the spot because they couldn’t cope with his heart-rending crying.
Up until now, Sota had been sitting next to him on the sofa and had asked him every few minutes if he could already feel anything but when no improvements developed he suddenly seemed to have an idea and got to his feet.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
Okay, it wasn’t a good joke but right now not even the funniest anecdote or one of those hilarious animal videos on TV could have cheered him up. Instead, he felt left alone with his misery and hot tears started trickling down his cheeks. And the fact that now not even crying seemed to help made him feel even more miserable than he already was.
“Naoya?”
Sota bent over him and gave him an anxious look. He had seen his friend cry a couple of times before. To be honest, Naoya was very easily moved to tears but up until now it had always been tears of joy or because of a sad movie or during their TeniMyu-graduation but there even the tough guys had shed some tears. He could cope with all of that because he knew that those kind of tears would dry as fast as they had come but this was different. He felt helpless. He didn’t know how to comfort him or how to ease his pain.
He stared down at the book in his hands. This was his last glimmer of hope. If this didn’t do the trick he would have no other choice than to pack his friend into the back of the car and drive him to the next hospital even though it was already dark outside and the path had probably frozen over by now.
Again he set down next to Naoya and gently stroked his arm.
“Maybe I have an idea how to whip your lumps of ice back into shape..”, he began and immediately received Naoya’s undivided attention.
“I’ve told you that I did this course in acupressure at couple of weeks ago..”
“Can you defrost feet with that?”, Naoya interrupted him in a shaky voice and snuffled loudly.
“Well, in this guide there’s nothing on frostbites but if we get your blood circulation running again that should help, too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Do you trust me?”
Yes, he did trust him. Sota wasn’t unsettled easily and he had always been the one who kept his cool during difficult situations. Naoya envied him for that because he clearly had a talent to sense potential dangers in even the most harmless situations and the smallest things could make him break out in a cold sweat. There obviously was a huge difference between “Mr. Ultraman” and “Mr. Overcautious” but that was exactly the reason why he liked to be around Sota so much. With him he felt safer and even a little braver. Even now.
Sota carefully lifted Naoya’s feet out of the water, dried them off a little and then positioned them on his lap.
Naoya willingly endured everything and observed with excitement how Sota picked up his book and flicked through the pages. After he seemed to have found the right one, he put the book down next to him on the couch and looked at Naoya in a very determined way.
“Okay, I’m ready. And by the way..”
Sota made a theatrical pause and rummaged around in his pants pocket.
“..I’ve found a special heating ointment.”, he added and triumphantly held up a little white tube.
“Well, actually it’s only a rheumatism ointment but I guess it can be used in cases like this as well..”
Naoya had no objections. In this situation he even would have eaten leeches if someone had told him that these might cure frostbites.
Sota studied the chart in his acupressure guide for the last time and mumbled some unintelligible comments under his breath. Then he applied some of the ointment onto his hands and spread it evenly on both sides.
“Ikimasu!”
He could see that Sota tried hard. The way he worked his feet with skilled movements while smiling encouragingly at him. But Naoya still couldn’t feel the touch of his hand of any effect of the ointment whatsoever. Only the smell of herbs wafted over to him and tickled his nose.
Naoya gradually drifted into some kind of semi consciousness and he realised just how dead beat he was. His eyelids were so heavy and after a while he just stopped fighting against this feeling. So he dozed away with closed eyes and the perception of his surroundings became a little blurred.
Time went by.
Maybe there was some kind of sedative in this ointment.. Hopefully he wasn’t allergic to that.. But at least an allergic reaction would explain why he was feeling so weird. Somehow Sota’s treatment didn’t seem to effect his feet but the rest of his body. His heart started beating faster. His face felt as if it were ablaze. Little drops of sweat were forming on his forehead and the rest of his body was perspiring more than usual as well. But the fact that irritated him the most was the increasingly dragging pain in his groin. He somehow knew this feeling and he didn’t dare to imagine what might happen if Sota kept on like this.
He really had tried everything. Migraine, breathing difficulties, thyroid hyperfunction, cirrhosis of the liver, bladder weakness..
Not one of the methods he had learned in this course seem to have any effect. But even when Naoya started to doze off Sota still racked his brain in search of some point he had somehow overlooked.
He remembered the day a few weeks ago when he had been the only one to show up in class and his teacher had taken him aside to let him in on a very special technique. The voice of his old Sensei wafted trough his head like a mantra.
“This technique should not be used thoughtlessly, Sota-kun. It can have a positive effect on urethritis and ametrohemia but more intensive treatment may cause certain side effects.. And the only reason why it’s not listed in the Kamasutra is that those dilettantes don’t have a clue about acupressure.”
After that, Sensei hadn’t gone into more detail about those special side effects but had only smiled knowingly and demonstrated the theoretical process.
Until today Sota hadn’t used this technique on anybody if you ignored the one time when he tried to play a little trick on Kime. But the only effect he had achieved was that Kime had kicked him after a while and had nearly thrown him out of the house. So Sensei seemed to have been right about the well considered use..
But this really was an emergency and he had to try everything to help his friend.
He thought for a moment to recall the right spot of the foot and its correct treatment and then he began to carefully massage the spot under Naoya’s left little toe with his thumb. Anti-clockwise of course! The other way round the treatment would only help relieve corns, at most.
At first, it seemed like nothing would happen at all. Naoya’s feet didn’t show any movement and neither did the rest of his body which was probably due to the fact that he was almost asleep. But soon he noticed that Naoya’s breathing was accelerating and that he started sweating conspicuously.
When his patient gave a little sigh it occurred to him for the first time that he might not be ready to experience those mysterious side effects. They were friends and relatively close by now but he wasn’t sure if those Kamasutra-ish experiments were already included in their friendship. If he went on like this he was bound to find out the real state of affairs but their relationship actually was too precious to him to risk it for something like this. But still there was something deep inside of him that urged him to take this next step.
So far, he had never really thought about it. Naoya was a friend. A good friend but not more. At least until now.
Blurred images flickered through his head. How would it feel like to hold his hand? To kiss him? To fall asleep next to him and to see his face first thing in the morning? Suddenly, all those imaginations seemed so tempting that he would have loved to put them into effect right away. But that was out of the question. Naoya was feeling bad and he wasn’t allowed to take advantage of the situation. But his fingers seemed to have a will of their own and Sota was fascinated to watch how Naoya started to stretch out on the couch. His cheeks were flushed. His lips were slightly swollen and his dark hair was damp with sweat.
Of course Sota had noticed before that Naoya was a pretty good-looking guy. A little tall and gangling but with warm eyes and a cute smile. But right now it felt like someone had taken the veil off his eyes and he could see him clearly for the first time. And he was captivated by the sight. He had to constantly watch him and followed every small motion with excitement. Even when Naoya’s eyelids snapped open as if he had just awoken from a deep dream Sota couldn’t help staring at him without saying a word while his thumb was still trailing little circles under Naoya’s little toe.
It felt like a dream. Had he already fallen asleep? Secretly, he had often dreamed of how it would be to have Sota not only as a friend. It had to feel wonderful to take a walk with him hand in hand. To share a bowl of ramen in a restaurant. To affectionately tousle his hair or to look into his eyes for hours without having to be afraid that Sota might call him crazy.
But of course he was much too scared to put any of this into words. Sota would think for sure that he was totally bonkers. He knew himself that he was a hopeless dreamer. And so he allowed his mother time and again to set up dates for him with giggling girls where he already felt sick beforehand because he was so nervous and scared. Most of the time he acted in such a clumsy way that his dates lost interest after a while but even when they slipped him their phone number afterwards with red cheeks he never really felt the urge to call back.
With Sota things were different. He would have loved to see him every day and when he went over to visit him he always had to force himself to leave in the end because he actually would have preferred to also spend the night with him. So he was either obsessed or head over heels in love with this guy.
Slowly Naoya’s thoughts were drifting into spheres where he and Sota were not just holding hands and Naoya himself was a little shocked that he even dared to imagine things like that. Sota who nibbled at his earlobe. Sota who let his hand move under his shirt. Sota who sucked at his bottom lip. Sota who stroked his thighs. Sota who..
Oh my God, he must have become a pervert over night!! And his body was going crazy. The lower part of his body began to twitch and it wouldn’t take long until Sota would notice that something was different. And then what??
He had been able to successfully avert the whole Peeping Tom business but this time a little hip wiggling wouldn’t solve the problem. As much as he enjoyed this feeling he had to do something before it was too late!
He opened his eyes and looked right into Sota’s dark eyes who were staring at him intently. Okay, not a big help..
“Sota..”
Naoya had managed to open his mouth but his voice was so weak that he could barely hear himself. So he tried again.
“Sota, m-matte..”
Now Sota finally seemed to react. He blinked and abruptly let go of Naoya’s foot. He looked down sheepishly and looked a little like a criminal who had just been caught in the act.
“G-gomen.. gomen nasai..”, he stammered and blushed a little.
He looked so damn cute but there was something else that occupied Naoya’s mind at the moment. Had he imagined this just now?
“Touch my feet!”
“Nani??”
Sota’s head shot up and he looked at him completely stunned.
“Touch them!”
“Demo..”
“Hurry!!”
Naoya must have gone mad. Maybe he had massaged his sanity right out of his body. Maybe he was having fevered dreams. Or maybe he had mutated into a foot fetishist over night. But he didn’t want to discuss things with him while he was in this kind of state so he hesitantly put his hand on Naoya’s foot and waited for a reaction. But instead of turning into a frog Naoya just looked at him in astonishment.
“I can feel your hand..”
Slowly it was dawning on him what this meant and Sota’s eyes widened.
“Hontoni? You can feel your feet again? Can you move them??”
Naoya screwed up his eyes and then those two feet that were still resting on Sota’s lap where slightly bobbing up and down.
“Arigatou, kami-sama..”, Sota mumbled and in the next moment he flung his arms around Naoya’s neck.
The other man seemed to be surprised at first but then he returned the hug and snuggled his head up to Sota’s shoulder. Naoya’s shoulders began to twitch suspiciously and a little sob reached Sota’s ear.
“Finally tears that I can cope with..”, he whispered and fondly ruffled Naoya’s hair.
Before he knew what had hit him he felt Naoya’s warm lips on his mouth and with big eyes he stared into the face that was now only millimetres away from his own.
It felt like a thousand tiny fireworks were exploding inside of him and a huge bunch of butterflies was dancing samba.
When they finally broke the embrace Sota still was in a kind of trance but then he looked into Naoya’s tearful face where now that particular smile was spreading that he had noticed about him from the start. A huge feeling of happiness was bubbling up inside him that he had never felt before. Maybe this was exactly what Sensei had been talking about..
Naoya himself couldn’t believe what he just did. He had just felt so happy that suddenly every kind of fear had been faded out. For the first time in a very long while he saw everything clearly and knew exactly what to do. And Sota hadn’t backed off. In the first few seconds he had blamed the surprise effect but even that was exhausted after a while.
He had kissed him and Sota had returned it. You wouldn’t do that with perverts. Or with friends for that matter..
It was amazing how fast he was catapulted from the deepest panic onto cloud number nine.
Maybe this wasn’t only a dream..
