Teen Wolf - Coach <3
Coach Finstock: YEAH! The bigger they are... the... bigger they are!
#GREENBERG Coach Bobby Finstock: Let's start with a quick summary of last night's reading. Greenberg, put your hand down. Everybody knows you did the reading.
#GREENBERG Coach Bobby Finstock: As a reminder, it's an open tryout today. All positions available. This is a rebuilding season, people. Jackson's gone, Lahey's gone. Greenberg, the one guy I actually wanted gone... Was held back. Again.
#GREENBERG Coach Finstock: Listen up! Anybody sees Isaac Lahey, you immediately tell the principal, get a teacher, or you call me. Except for you Greenburg. Don't call me for anything. I'm not kidding. Don't call me. You shouldn't even have my number.
#GREENBERG Coach Finstock: I know I yell a lot. But it's not like I hate you guys. Well, I kind of hate Greenberg, but... That's different. It's Greenberg.
Coach Finstock: How many fingers am I holding up?
Danny: Four?
Coach Finstock: Say two!
Coach Finstock: [about an usually large lacrosse player] Come on, is that thing even a teenager? I wanna see a birth certificate. Who or what is that genetic experiment gone wrong?
Stiles: Eddie Abramovitz, Coach. They call him The Abomination.
Coach Finstock: Oh, that's cute.
Coach Finstock: Tomorrow's midterm is so profoundly difficult, I'm not even too sure I could pass it.
Coach Finstock: Why don't you tell your buddy, Danny, to take care of his equipment. Or I'm gonna make you take care of his equipment for him! And do you really want to be taking care of Danny's equipment all the time?
Scott McCall: That depends. Are we still talking about lacrosse pads?
Stiles: Put on your helmet and get out there. You're in for Greenburg.
Coach Finstock: What? What happened to Greenburg?
Coach Finstock: Greenburg! He sucks, you suck... slightly less.
Stiles: I'm playing? On the field? With the team?
Coach Finstock: Yes! Unless you'd rather... play with yourself.
Stiles: I already did that today. Twice!
Coach Bobby Finstock: So, Stiles: great kid, zero ability to focus, super-smart, never takes advantage of his talents...
Sheriff Stilinski: What do you mean?
Coach Bobby Finstock: Well for his final question on his midterm exam, he detailed the entire history of the male circumcision.
Sheriff Stilinski: Well, I mean, it does have historical significance, right? I mean...
Coach Bobby Finstock: I teach Economics.
Sheriff Stilinski: Ah, crap.
Coach Bobby Finstock: Stiles, that's right. I thought "Stiles" was his last name.
Sheriff Stilinski: His last name is "Stilinski."
Coach Bobby Finstock: You named your kid "Stiles Stilinski"?
Sheriff Stilinski: No, that's just what he likes to be called.
Coach Bobby Finstock: Oh. Well, I like to be called "cupcake" - What is his first name?
[the Sheriff writes it down]
Coach Bobby Finstock: Wow, that's a form of child abuse. I don't - I don't even know how to pronounce that.
Coach Bobby Finstock: There's a card on my desk for Isaac Lahey, and every one of you losers is not only going to sign it, you're going to write a personal message so profound and deep, it's gonna bring a tear to Coach's eye. Who's first? Ah, Danny! That's how you do it, buddy. Keep it PG.
Coach Bobby Finstock: Wow. Pulling a fire alarm on Mischief Night is one thing. Doing it when there's a mass murderer spotted nearby is insane! If I were four years younger I'd punch you.
Stiles: What? Coach that doesn't make sense.
Coach Bobby Finstock: Oh, well, it does to me.
#GREENBERG Coach Bobby Finstock: Mischief Night, Devil's Night. I don't care what you call it. You little punks are evil.
[Class laughs]
Coach Bobby Finstock: You think it's funny every Halloween my house gets egged? A man's house is supposed to be his castle. Mine's a frickin' omelet.
[Sees a present on his desk]
Coach Bobby Finstock: Oh, this? We're gonna do this again? I don't think so.
[Steps on the present, hears a crash. Picks up a broken "#1 Coach" mug]
Coach Bobby Finstock: "Happy Birthday. Love, Greenberg."
Coach Bobby Finstock: Jared, I'm warning you. I'm an empathetic vomiter. You throw up, I'm gonna throw up back on you. And it will be profoundly disgusting!
Coach Bobby Finstock: All right, geniuses, listen up. Due to the recent pink eye epidemic - Thank you, Greenberg - the following people have made first line on a probationary basis, emphasis on the word "probationary." Rodriguez. Welcome to first line. Taylor, and, uh - Oh, for the love of crap. I can't even read my own writing. What is that, an "s"? No, no, that's not an "s." That's a - that's a - That's a "b." It's definitely a "b." Uh, Rodriguez, Taylor, and, uh - Bilinski.
Stiles: [Cheers] Whooo!
Coach Bobby Finstock: Bilinski!
Stiles: Yes?
Coach Bobby Finstock: Shut up!
Scott McCall: Stiles.
Stiles: It's Biles. Call me Biles, or I swear to God I'll kill you.
Coach Finstock: There's a sick girl, roaming around, totally naked. Now, it's supposed to get below 40 degrees tonight. I don't know about you, but the last time it was that cold and I was totally naked, I lost a testicle to exposure! Now I don't want the same thing happening to some innocent girl!
Stiles: [about Jackson] Sorry Coach. I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him.
Coach Finstock: And when was that?
Stiles: The last time I saw him... Was definitely the time I saw him last.