December was extremely hard for him, they would do presents for randomly chosen classmates again and Katsuki had the incredible luck to get Kirishima. He almost broke down crying again, what was he supposed to do now?
He told his therapists about it and they encouraged him, to get a thoughtful present for Kirishima, maybe it could be the first step in rekindling their relationship.
This didn’t help him either. He was so bad at picking presents. He was shopping with Denki and Kyoka, and he almost got a panic attack, the other two omegas tried to calm him down, they would find something for him for sure.
After a fruitless day of shopping, Katsuki walked home and very depressed he fell into his nest. Over the months he had collected more and more plushies. The dakimakuras were gone however. His therapist had advised him, that it could have negative effects on him. It was hard to remove them out of his nest, but it had to be done. They were under his bed now, where he could not see them.
It was Sougo who gave him the idea for a present, in the end. The bluenette had asked him, why he looked so sad, and Katsuki had told him from his predicament. Sougo asked him more questions about Kirishima, what he liked et cetera. Eventually they talked about favorite heroes, and when Katsuki mentioned Crimson Riot, Sougo snapped his fingers. “I got you! I have an idea.” Sougo had a wide, happy grin on his face.
Katsuki blushed at that; he wasn’t used to it anymore, most alphas nowadays were not that happy around him.
The omega didn’t know how, but Sougo managed to get him a very limited, very old figurine of Crimson Riot. They were not produced any longer and they were extremely hard to get.
“But I can’t pay you for that! It’s way too expensive!” Katsuki tried to decline the figurine.
“Ah, don’t worry about it. You work for us, remember? You keep up with Michiko’s training and you do your job pretty good, so take it as a Christmas Gift.” He smiled at Katsuki.
Blushing, Katsuki took the figurine. “Thank you …” he had a happy smile on his face.
Christmas Eve arrived and Katsuki was super nervous. He felt like he could vomit at any minute. It was harder to face Kirishima than expected. He sat with Denki and Kyoka, Hitoshi was next to Denki, Hanta next to Kyoka. They were all happy and cheery.
Katsuki tried his hardest do be happy too, but it was not easy. His panic made it worse, could he really face Kirishima? Would Kirishima accept the present in the first place?
Then it was time to exchange presents. He got his present from Momo, he waited with unwrapping it, until Kirishima was done with giving Tenya his present. Katsuki’s body was shaking heavily, when he made his way over towards Kirishima.
He had the present in his cold fingers and with every step it got harder. Would he reject it? What if he didn’t like it? But he had to do it now!
“K-Kirishima” he mumbled. The alpha turned around quite surprised. His gaze wasn’t as cold as it would usually be. Ever since Katsuki wore the collar, Kirishima seemed to feel more comfortable around him.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“I-I got your present …” he held it out for him. “Y-you don’t need to take it, if you don’t want to …” he added.
“And be the only one without a present?” he huffed and took it.
Gulping, Katsuki watched him unwrapping the paper. Kirishima inhaled sharply, when he saw what was in it. “How, did you get that? That figurine is really old and really rare, and damn expensive!” His eyes bored into Katsuki.
“Uh, w-well, Sougo from my internship got it for me, he has some connections” he explained.
Kirishima pursed his lips. He still stared at Katsuki. “You haven’t unwrapped your present?” he mentioned.
“Uh, yeah, I was too nervous” the omega confessed.
“Why?” Kirishima quirked an eyebrow.
“Because I know you don’t like me anymore, which I totally get now! I wouldn’t like me either after the shit I did. I didn’t know how you would react to the present, so … yeah” he explained. “I … I should go, I won’t bother you any longer …”
With his gaze on the ground, Katsuki turned around and made his way over to Denki.
“Bakugo” Eijiro called out. Katsuki turned around. “Thanks, I mean it” with that Eijiro walked away, back to Mina.
Katsuki’s heart beat faster and his cheeks flushed heavily. He felt like he would cry any minute. He had accepted the present! It made Katsuki so incredibly happy. He had to hold himself together.
When he arrived in front of Denki, the other omega turned around towards him. “How did it go? You seem happy?”
“He accepted it! And he thanked me” His voice was a bit shaky. “I mean, it’s just a baby step, but better than anything I had imagined.”
“Hey, that’s good! Maybe it is a start” Kyoka smiled at him.
“What did you get from Momo?” Denki asked him.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know, I’ll open it.” He opened his own present, his hands still shaking. It was a collar. A very fine leather collar, it was a bit wider, and it also covered his scent glands. It looked less gothic, and the material was exquisite.
“Oh, that’s a nice one!” Kyoka whistled. “Of course, from Momo just the best.” She grinned.
“Yeah, it looks really good!” Katsuki smiled and he took his other collar off to put Momo’s on. He would keep Kuroko’s on, when he was at work, but privately he would wear Momo’s.
This night was finally a peaceful one for Katsuki, no nightmares, no panic attacks. He missed this feeling so much!
After the party was over, Eijiro sat in his dimly lit room and looked at the Crimson Riot figurine that Katsuki had gifted him. He was on his bed, legs outstretched, and arms somewhere next to his body. His was frowning.
His inner alpha growled at him. He liked the present, he really did, but it was still weird for him. When he saw Katsuki’s face lit up after he had thanked him for it, his inner alpha wanted to jump at him. He wanted to make sure the omega would stay happy. But he shut this down immediately.
No, he wouldn’t fall for it again, he hadn’t even properly apologized. He knew, he was beyond cruel, maybe more than Katsuki actually deserved, but he was hurt, back then he had to literally kill a part of himself to break up. And only slowly he found back to himself again.
If he were to give in to Katsuki’s callings, he would probably reward the inner omega for being such a bitch. He wouldn’t learn anything.
But at times it was incredibly hard. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and he heard Katsuki’s sobbing, and to his horror, he heard explosions going off, he had seen some of the scars, during changing.
He felt terrible when he knew that this happened, but he couldn’t bring himself to go over again, to break again and release Katsuki from his pain. His alpha wouldn’t allow it.
Eijiro turned around and grabbed his phone. He hadn’t told anyone, it was another secret that was gnawing on him. He opened the chat from a couple of month back. Izuku had sent him a few texts, from his new phone.
«I know it’s a fucked up thing to do over text, but unfortunately, there is no other way. I couldn’t stay there or something terrible would have happen.
First of all, I must thank you, you stopped me that night. I can’t express how grateful I am for that, because if you hadn’t, someone would have died. And I wouldn’t know how to handle that.
Second, I want to apologize to you. I would have preferred to do it in person, but no can do. I apologize for being such a terrible friend. For taking Kacchan away from you, the one who would have actually deserved him. I was an inconsiderate asshole, and there is no excuse for that. Jumping right on Kacchan, not even twenty-four hours later was really a dick move.
I can’t imagine how betrayed you must have felt. And you have every right to feel that way. I completely understand if you hate me for it. I don’t want your forgiveness or anything, if you can’t than it is fine. I just wanted to say it once.
I fucked up our friendship and your friendship with Kacchan, and I regret that deeply. I never wanted anything like that to happen. I was an immature prick. I turned into a selfish monster that had only his own interests in mind.
My alpha wanted you to feel pain, it wanted you to be hurt and there is no excuse for that. You were my rival in love and instead of stopping it, I gave in to it. I let my alpha hate you instead of accepting you as part of the pack.
Mina opened my eyes on how terrible of a person I had become. If it weren’t for her, I would have probably not even seen the problems that I created.
I hope, with me gone, you can have a chance to mend your relationship with Kacchan, if he apologizes and if you feel ready to do so.
I know that I have absolutely no right to ask that of you, but please, don’t tell them, that I made contact to you. I wanted to apologize, but I left without telling anyone for a reason. And please, do not tell Kacchan. I do not plan on coming back soon, so I don’t want them to get their hopes up.
I wish you the best of luck for your future, what ever you decide to do. And I wish that you find the happiness that you deserve.
Sincerely
Midoriya»
He had read the apology over and over again, he had gotten the texts on his birthday, late at night. He had read them but he hadn’t replied.
At the time he wasn’t ready and now … he didn’t know what to write to Midoriya. But he, at least, respected Midoriya’s wish and he told no one. Sometimes he wondered what he was doing now. It had been nearly four months that he was gone. Did he train with Kairi and the others? Had he gotten the bond scrubbing?
Frustrated with everything, Eijiro stood up and walked out of his room he walked down to the common room and took some of the leftovers out of the fridge.
He sometimes didn’t know if he did the right thing, it was hard for him to decide. Was he still angry at Midoriya? He had apologized, it sounded honest, but Eijiro still didn’t know how to think of him.
Listless he ate some of the chicken. This school wasn’t the same anymore. He wondered sometimes what would have happened if he were able to accept Midoriya’s alpha. He never really considered him as a lover before. So the ‘what if’s where big. Would have made a difference if Eijiro had been able to love Midoriya the same as he had loved Bakugo?
His alpha growled a no, but Eijiro tried to shut him up. Faint touches came to his mind, it seemed so long ago, even though it was about the same time. He wondered if Izuku thought about that night on the clearing too.
He stabbed the chicken a little harder than necessary with his fork, he let out a growl and his hand ruffled through his hair. He tried not to think about the summer camp too much.
He finished eating, and still none the wiser he walked back to his room. Before he entered he looked over to Katsuki’s room. He walked up to the door and listened in, it was quiet, so he seemed to be asleep. Exhaling, Eijiro got back into his room. He forced himself to finally sleep.
