Borderline
I’m dancing on the borderline
Telling everybody I am fine
I know this isn’t real
My heart is cold like steal
It’s frozen like ice
Nobody’s being nice
To me
I’m alone
I’m cold
Dunno when
Dunno where
I feel alone everywhere
There might be hundreds of people
But I am alone
Like there is a wall between them and me
I can’t break through
My feelings are as clear as they are hidden
I think…they are forbidden
I can’t show them for real
Even if I show them no one knows
They don’t think that this is the real me
They think I’m faking it when I’m on the verge of tears
Nearly breaking down
But that’s me
This other side with the happy smile
And the cheery mood
That’s another part of me
A part of me I always show
Just to let them think I’m fine
Even if I’m not
All I feel is hatred, disgust and fear
That I’m a foolish girl to think I might be attractive or nice
I hate myself
I’d like to kill me at some special times
All I show is this cheery side
Always smiling and joking
Fooling around and not taken serious at any time
There are few people who see through my masquerade
And even they can’t always tell my mood
So…yeah…
I live my life on the borderline
I’ll always be telling everybody I’m fine
So watch out
It’s dangerous if I tell you this
I might be damaging myself, while I talk to you
© S. Rabe
