One Shot
*Ray’s POV*
Finally. It was here. The season of presents, joy and carols. Sparkling lights around the city. Happy expressions on every face. Oh, how I loved this time of the year. Christmas!
And there I was, standing in the living room. Together with my friends, chatting and celebrating the last day before Christmas eve. Tomorrow would be the 24th.
This day had been fun. We did a lot of shopping, went ice skating and went for hot chocolate. Everybody enjoyed it. And I was pretty sure I saw a tiny smile even on Kai’s face.
Now it was evening and we were all sitting together, drinking tea and laughing. Ok, not everybody. Kai was standing a bit further away from the rest of us, but, hey, it was Kai, we were talking about. So, there was nothing unusual about this behavior, wasn’t there? Anyway, that didn’t matter right now.
I was sitting next to Tyson and Max, who were sort of flirting with each other, although they didn’t know they were. Hilary was talking to Kenny about some new PC-Game or something like that. And I, Ray, was just sitting there and watching my friends chatting. Ok, not only that. I caught myself a few times risking a glance at Kai. And every time I did, I felt my cheeks blush and I turned my head again. I didn’t want Kai to find out about my feelings. Feelings I shouldn’t have. I mustn’t have. Truth was, I loved Kai. More than anything. But I knew that this love was only unrequited, so I wouldn’t dare to confess, but secret stares on my subject of longing were allowed, weren’t they?
After more than twenty minutes staring I decided to talk to our team leader. After all we were friends, weren’t we? So why not talk to him? And then I made a mistake.
I stood up and walked over to him, and before I could say one single word, Hilary screamed. It wasn’t a scream of pain or anxiety, no it was some sort of squeaking scream of excitement only a girl would use, when they discovered something very, very cute and fluffy. * A really uncomfortable feeling rose in my belly, and I was right in fearing what the girl just discovered.
“Mistletoe” Only one word and the girl drew the whole attention on herself. “You know what that means.” I didn’t like the smile on Tyson’s face, while he was saying that. “That’s a joke, right? You can’t probably be suggesting that?”, said Kenny. “Well, I am. So what?”, smiled Tyson. “Yeah, come on! Kiss already!”, squeaked Hilary. “Tsss.”, that was all Kai said. And me? I blushed furiously.
I didn’t know what to do. Yes! I wanted really bad to kiss him. God knows. I even dreamt about kissing the other teen. But in my dreams we were alone, unseen by everybody. So, what to do now? In this situation? I looked back and saw the excited expressions in my friend’s faces. Then I turned around again and saw the disgusted one in Kai’s. My expression changed from embarrassed to sad. I knew what to do next.
“Oh, come on, you guys. I am not going to kiss Kai. Are you stupid? We’re both guys.” That was all I had to say, then I was gone.
*Kai’s POV*
Soon after Ray, I also left the others and went upstairs to our bedrooms. But I didn’t enter the room, I just stood there in front of the nearly closed door and listened. Listened for any noise, that would possibly come from inside. And really. There it was. This unusual, but also, sort of familiar sound. A silent whimper. Recently I had heard it sometimes.
I knew who it was. I knew Ray was silently crying. Deep in the night, when everybody else was sound asleep. The only thing I didn’t know, was the reason why. The reason why Ray was crying. And I was eager to find out.
Should I really enter this room? Would Ray even talk to me? Guess there was only one way to find out. Without any noise, I slowly opened the door and closed it right behind me.
He didn’t notice me yet. Silently I walked up to him as he was lying on his bed with his head buried in the pillow. Only small sounds coming from him. But I heard them nevertheless. I hated to see the Blackhead like that, although I didn’t know why.
*Ray’s POV*
“Ray”, he whispered and touched my shoulder lightly. It was just a light touch, but it startled me. My tears stopped at once and I looked at our team leader with big eyes. “What?”, that was all, what I was able to say. “Ray, what’s the matter with you? Why are you crying?” Did he worry about me? I wasn’t able to tell. Also, I didn’t know how in the world I should answer this question. Should I really tell him the truth? Would he even understand? Would he hate me? I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed silent. “Ray, talk to me!” He really sounded worried. Maybe, just maybe, he would like me too. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “I don’t know how to tell you this. And I’m not sure if you’ll hate me afterwards.” He took a seat beside me. I felt his hand on my shoulder, warm, comforting, even his eyes were softer than they usually were. It soothed me, and then out of nowhere, it just slipped my tongue. “I love you”
And from one moment to the other it was silent. Kai didn’t make a sound. He just stared at me. Slightly shocked. And I regretted it the very moment I heard my words. I knew that I ruined our friendship in that very instant. I didn’t even try to talk me out of this. I knew it was already too late. The words were out. Nothing could be done about that. Kai hadn’t spoken. He was still under shock. His hand vanished from my shoulder. He stood up and just fled the room. I didn’t even try to stop him. I wanted an answer for so long. And there it was. I guessed that I should ask someone to trade rooms with me. Maybe Tyson.
I sighed and buried my face once again. New tears filled my eyes and soaked my pillow. Kai didn’t return for the night to our room. On the next day I noticed the blanket on the couch in the living room. So he had slept there. I really should talk with Tyson about switching rooms with me. Unfortunately he wasn’t very cooperative. Well, I guessed then I should sleep on the couch instead. It was my fault after all. I was the one evolving feelings for the other teen, so it was my responsibility to not cause him any troubles. I would tell him the next time I saw him. Well, easier said than done. I didn’t see him the whole day and I was pretty sure, he wouldn’t even dare to come to our little Christmas celebration after dinner, as long as I was there. He was our team leader and he should attend this event. And if he wasn’t to come because of me, then I wouldn’t go.
It was late in the afternoon when I entered my and Kai’s bedroom. I went to my closet and searched for Kai’s present in it. It didn’t take me long to find it. I placed it on his bed together with a little note. I just hoped he would come here before or after dinner, so he would see it. Then I left the house, unseen by everyone. I would return sometime deep in the night, when everyone was fast asleep. For now I looked for a coffeeshop to pass the time and to get warm again. It was freezing. I could really use a cup of hot coffee or cocoa.
*Kai’s POV*
I had mixed feelings when I entered my room again. It was past seven and Ray didn’t show up for dinner, so I, as the team leader, had to go look for him. As I overlooked the room, I couldn’t find the black haired teen. So he wasn’t here either. We’ve searched the whole house, but he was nowhere to be found. And slowly we were beginning to worry about him. I was already leaving again when I noticed something lying on my bed. A small package and a letter. At first I opened the letter and read the short notice. There wasn’t much written on this piece of paper, but enough to leave me feeling guilty.
“Hey Kai!
Pretty sure you don’t want to see me right now. I won’t be back so soon, so please go ahead and celebrate with the others. I left your present. Hope you like it.
Ray
PS: I am truly sorry.”
I gulped the feeling of guilt down, which was building up inside my stomach and was about to come out. With shaking hands I reached for the little present and opened it. My eyes widened as I reached in and took out the small metal piece. I couldn’t believe that the other teen remembered. But obviously he did. It was a very rare and expensive gadget for upgrading my beyblade. I had searched everywhere but it was out of stock wherever I had asked. I had absolutely no idea, where in god’s name the other one had got his hands on it. No idea how long he might had searched for it. No idea how much he had paid for it. Truth been told I was deeply moved by the thought of this. So much that for one short moment I forgot the whole incident and why I was standing here with this present in my hands. But as soon as my gaze went back to the small note it hit me. Ray was gone and it was my fault. I needed to do something and pretty fast too. After all the teen thought so much about me, considering this present. Speaking of which I needed to get one for him too. Something just as thoughtful. The current present I had, wouldn’t quite make up for it.
*Ray’s POV*
I ran nearly for an hour through the snow before I finally found an open coffee shop. The hot coffee felt like heaven and warmed my stiffen bones. Unfortunately I had to leave two hours later. I bought another cup to go and went out in the snow again. It was short past eleven. Way too soon to head back. So I looked for the nearest park and sat down on a lonely swing. My hands hold tightly around the hot cup. My gaze went up as it started to snow. I felt my eyes tearing up again, but I just ignored it. It wouldn’t change a single thing. I needed to get used to this feeling. He would never return my feelings. I had to stop mine. Forget about him. It hurt and the thought of him just tore my heart in two. I was stupid for telling him my feelings. Now I had to live with the heartbreaking consequences. I was pathetic. Tears streamed down my face for a while now and the cold snuck inside every little part of my body. I knew I was shivering and that I probably should return home soon. But I was too scared to face him. So I kept sitting there and looking in the night sky. Spacing out as I watched the dancing snowflakes.
It didn’t take long for the coffee to cool and soon after that I couldn’t even feel my fingers. I felt more and more tired. Slowly I drifted away, the nearly empty cup slipped my fingers and then it went black.
*Kai’s POV*
I was about to give up and go back home, when I discovered a glimpse of black hair. Ray! He was sitting there on a swing, pretty absent. His gaze seemed somehow far away and empty. His eyelids flattered and then he fell over. I ran to the other teen as fast as possible and somehow managed to catch him before he hit the frozen ground. I looked slightly shocked down on the other boy, who just collapsed in my arms. Carefully I felt his forehead and flinched. It was hot, better said he burned up. His body felt ice cold. I needed to bring him back as soon as possible. Ray had to get warm again.
It took me nearly half an hour to reach the house, in which we were staying. With Ray on my arms it wasn’t as easy to move, so I had to walk more slowly. Not only because of the snow, which made the streets a lot more slippery, also the weight of the other teen slowed me down a bit. As I reached the warmth of our room, the black haired teen started to shiver furiously. Only now did his body realize how cold he actually was. I needed to raise his temperature and I knew how I would do that. The best way was to give him some of my own body heat. That way he would be warm again soon.
I stripped the other teen down to his pants and did the same with myself. After that I tucked him in and buried him in his blanket. The light went out and then I crawled in beneath him, wrapping my arms around Ray and pressing him to my naked body. It didn’t take long before the other one stopped shivering. A sigh of relief left my mouth. Only as I heard the boy in my arms breathe calmly, I closed my eyes and drifted off into deep sleep. This day was more than exhausting and I was tired as hell. Glad to have found the lost teammate, I fell into a dreamless sleep.
*Ray’s POV*
The next thing I remembered was waking up in my bed, which felt indefinably warm. Curious to know where the warmth was coming from, I slowly opened my eyes. The first thing I saw, was a bare chest on which I was leaning. Only now did I realize that I was lying in the arms of someone. Somebody embraced me very tightly, which would explain the heat. The other thing I realized was the light headache I had. Seemed like, I was running a fever. I really wondered how I came back here. I knew I was in this little park. So how in the world did I end up here? Probably if I looked up, to see the face of the man – and yes that much I already figured out – who held me so tightly, I would at least get the answer to that.
I took a deep breath as I let my gaze wander further up. And as I finally looked in the face of my savior my eyes widened and my heart stopped for a second. I couldn’t believe it, so I blinked once, twice, but the view didn’t change. No, I really did look in the sleeping face of our team leader. The boy, who was holding me so firmly, was truly Kai. I felt my cheeks getting hotter and I knew that I was probably looking like an overripe tomato at the moment. But I couldn’t care less about that. Too many questions were swirling in my head.
How? And why would he do that? Was he the one who found me? And if yes, why did he search for me in the first place? The whole purpose of me disappearing was that he wouldn’t have to see my face after me confessing. So why? I really couldn’t figure it out at all and my head wasn’t very keen on me thinking this hard. Guess the only way to get some answers was for the other teen to wake up. But somehow I was a bit afraid of that.
*Kai’s POV*
Slowly I opened my eyes and was slightly surprised to see the black haired teen already awake. I would have bet that the other would sleep a lot longer, considering his condition last night. Ray was definitely running a fever. That much I could tell by lying so close to him. Even now I didn’t let go of the smaller one. I just looked in his eyes and stayed silent, waiting for the other one to say something.
*Ray’s POV*
Somehow I managed to find my voice again, although it was merely some sort of stutter which came out, not only because of my sore throat. “Why…? How…? I…don’t understand.” “You’re awake?!” A slim smile formed on Kai’s face as he was saying that. “We were worried about you. After finding your note and you not returning for the night, we searched the whole house for you. But you weren’t there so we started looking through town. I was about to give up when I discovered you in this small park. I came just in time to catch you before you hit the frozen ground. You were freezing cold and running a high fever.” He stopped a second to breathe then continued to explain how I ended up in this situation. “I brought you back home und tucked you in after stripping you. It was the fastest way I knew to get your body temperature up again.” Only now did I realize that I was naked except for my shorts. I felt my cheeks burning up, which wasn’t the fever’s fault. I just hoped Kai wouldn’t notice it. Luckily he didn’t. Or at least he didn’t let it show if he did. “How about I get you something to eat? Are you hungry?” I just nodded, but it seemed enough for the other teen, because he finally let go of me and crawled out of the bed.
He left the room after putting on some clothes and I felt the cold coming back to me, after the warmth of the other body had disappeared. It didn’t took too long before our team leader reentered the room. In his hands he had a tray. On it I could see a hot bowl of soup, one teapot and a cup. He placed the whole thing on the nightstand beneath my bed. “Can you sit up?”, he asked and after I affirmed that, he sat down on the edge of my bed. I sat up and leaned against the wall behind me. After placing myself comfortably I took the bowl of soup and began to eat very slowly. It was really hot and I didn’t want to burn my tongue. After a few sips of the hot beverage I was finally able to talk again. “Thank you” Something I had wanted to tell him way sooner. “No problem. Hilary cooked the soup yesterday after I had returned with you. She was worried and so were the others.” The slim smile came back to his face. “I told them you were alright except for your nasty cold.”
I returned the smile and ate the rest of my soup. But there was still something bothering me. I just wasn’t too sure on how to put everything on my mind into words. But it wasn’t me who brought this topic back up and broke the silence between us. “About yesterday. What you told me…” But I didn’t let him finish. “Forget about it.”, I interrupted him, “I really didn’t intend to tell you any of it. And I am very truly sorry that it slipped my tongue. If you are bothered by it, I’ll gladly sleep on the couch. I even tried to swap rooms with Tyson, but he refused. I really don’t want to cause you any trouble, so…” Now it was the gray-haired teen, who wouldn’t let me finish. “It’s fine. You aren’t a bother at all. And also…” He paused and reached into his pocket. As he opened his hand I could see the small gadget I got him for Christmas. “I don’t know where or how you even got your hands on this, but I am really grateful. Thank you so much. Unfortunately my present isn’t half as thoughtful as this one, so please tell me what you wish for, so that I can thank you properly.” After he said that he stood up and left the room again. “Eat up and get better. I’ll get the tray after you’re done.”
It took a while before his words sank in. He asked me what I wished for? I knew damn well what that would be, but I would never ever tell him that.
The day went by and the night came, but Kai didn’t return. Well, he did come once to take the tray away as promised, but I was asleep then because I didn’t see or hear him. I glanced at the clock. It was way past midnight. He had to be back by now. So where was he? Pretty damn sure that I wouldn’t be able to sleep again until I figured this one out, I stood up. I felt a little dizzy, but I was able to stand on my own. Finally the fever seemed to have gone down. I wrapped myself in the blanket and left my room. My first halt was the living room, in which I found the team leader on the same couch as the night before. He was sound asleep and I just stood there and stared at him. I felt a tear running down my cheek. “The hell you are not bothered by my feelings. Liar.”, I whispered. A short moment I looked down at him, before I went back to my room.
The rest of the night I wasn’t able to sleep very well, so it was no wonder that I was up very early the next day. But I didn’t get up. I just stayed in bed and let my thoughts run free. Although they only revolved around one person. I didn’t even hear Hilary enter the room around eleven thirty. “Hey, Ray”, she drew the attention to her, “how are you feeling? We’re about to eat. Do you wanna come too?” I didn’t even bother to look at her. I kept staring on the ceiling and just shook my head, so that the girl would get her answer. No, I really wasn’t hungry.
But the girl didn’t let go so soon, she sat down beside me and looked at me concerned. “What’s the matter with you? I can tell that something is wrong.” “Nothing special. I just don’t feel very hungry. That’s all.” I knew she wouldn’t believe me. Girls and their creepy intuition. “You can’t fool me, Ray. It might work with the guys, but I am not one of them. So just tell me.” She paused before she continued. “It’s Kai, isn’t it? You’re in love with him.” My eyes widened in shock as I looked her in the eyes. I wasn’t able to speak. Just one word escaped my throat. “How?”
She smiled lightly. “It wasn’t too hard to guess. The way you look at him and how you behaved under the mistletoe. That kind of gave it away.” I shivered. Pretty sure that this wasn’t coming from my fever. “Don’t panic. The guys don’t know anything and I’ll intend to keep it a secret. So won’t you tell me, what’s bothering you?” A deep sigh escaped my mouth as I gave in. I knew I needed someone to talk to, otherwise I would go insane eventually.
*Kai’s POV*
I was on the way to our room to bring Ray something to eat. Somehow I knew that he wouldn’t come downstairs. I was about to open the door to the room, when I heard the voice of Hilary behind it. “So won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?” I heard the deep sigh from inside and then Ray began talking and I froze in my movement. I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
“It’s Kai.” His voice was vague, nearly inaudible, but somehow I managed to understand every word the black haired teen said. “I blurted it out to him. At first he didn’t speak to me at all, but now he told me, he wouldn’t be bothered by it.” There he made a pause and the girl spoke again: “But isn’t that a good thing. You can still be friends, can’t you?” I heard the boy inside sighing, before he talked again: “That’s what I thought, but he’s been sleeping on the couch ever since. He can’t even sleep in the same room as me. So it’s pretty obvious that he is bothered by my feelings. I don’t want him to feel that way, so if he doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as me, shouldn’t I be the one to sleep elsewhere? I don’t want him to suffer because of my inappropriate feelings.” “Your feelings aren’t inappropriate.”, Hilary interrupted him, but he didn’t even seem to hear her. “Even though I am a bother for Kai. I wish I could change the way I feel about him, but I can’t. I even tried to switch rooms with Tyson, but he refused my request. I am so useless.” I heard the silent whimpers and knew in an instant that the other teen was crying again. I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Unable to listen anymore, I left the tray with the food and tea next to the door – Hilary would definitely find it and give it to Ray – and hurried back downstairs. I needed to get a bit of fresh air, because suddenly I had trouble breathing.
*Ray’s POV*
The next time I woke up it was dark outside as it was in our room. Everything seemed quiet. Obviously the others must have gone to sleep as well. I was still a bit drowsy from the fever and the long night rest. Also I didn’t think I would be able to stay awake for long, but there was still one thing I had to make sure of. So I tilted my head a little to the left, where I know I would probably be able to see Kai’s bed just to find it abandoned once more. Although I knew what sight I would get I was nevertheless disappointed and sad. I was just about to close my eyes again as I heard the door swung open and silent footsteps drawing nearer. Somehow I knew who it was, who entered the room, so I just pretended being asleep still and waited eagerly for something to happen. The footsteps came closer and stopped next to me. At first there was no reaction at all, not even a single sound was made. I didn’t know how long this silence went on, but for me it felt like hours, what in reality weren’t even five minutes.
Suddenly I felt a weight next to me. He must have sat down on my bed. I was pretty sure that he was watching me as I was pretending to be sleeping. And I really hoped that Kai wouldn’t see through my scheme. The only thing I was sure of, was, that this person next to me, was indeed our team leader. His smell I would recognize out of thousands. The soft touch on my cheek startled me and I had a very hard time not making any noise or movement at all, so he wouldn’t grasp the fact that I was still awake. Softly he caressed my cheek and I felt my heart starting to race. I didn’t know why Kai would do that, but I didn’t really care. For all I cared he better never ever stopped. It felt way to good being touched in that way. “I’m sorry”, was all he whispered into the darkness of our room before he moved again and the hand vanished from my face. But I had no time to miss the warmth that left. In just one fast move he came back but it wasn’t his hand I felt in my face.
The kiss came suddenly and totally out of the blue. No chance to keep pretending. I opened my eyes in shock and had nearly a heart attack as I looked directly in his. But he didn’t seem surprised by the fact that I was awake, what led me to the conclusion that he was well aware of it for the whole time. Darn it! But the most irritating part of it all was that he didn’t seem angry about it. On the contrary, he intensified the kiss and closed his eyes. I sunk back into the sheets and swung my eyes shut, just enjoying this sweet and probably only kiss I would ever get from him. It felt like hours before he ended the touch of our lips and backed away a little. I saw a vague smile on his lips, what only confused me even more. “Well, I heard you and Hilary talking. And you made me the best present ever so the least I could do,…well…anyway…Merry Christmas.”
That said he stood up and for the first time in the last few days he crawled in his bed and was asleep not long after. As for me I didn’t find any sleep for the rest of the night. I didn’t know what to think of this situation. I mean I got what I wanted. Kai kissed me. But what was that? Was it pity? Was it his bad conscience? Did he even like me a little? All this confusing thoughts kept me awake. Although I knew I wouldn’t get any answers, for the only person who could give them to me, was fast asleep not even five meters away. At least there was one thing I knew. The reason why he came up with this action in the first place. It was my talk with Hilary earlier.
~earlier this evening~
“But I really thought you made up. At least Kai came down after talking to you and meant it was all okay again.” “Well, kind of. He said he was sorry and thanked me for his Christmas present. And he told me, that I should tell him what it was that I wished for Christmas.” Now the girl was all ears. “And what would that be?” “Something he could and would never give me.” I took a deep breath before I continued. “Well, obviously it would be him being in love with me, but that’s never going to happen. So, I guess, I would settle for one little kiss from him. Like the one I longed for, but didn’t get, under the mistletoe.” I chuckled at my own words, because they sounded way too absurd. Me being kissed by Kai. Like that would ever happen. “Pretty stupid, isn’t it?” “No. Understandable. You’re in love with him after all. If you ask me, he’s pretty dense that he can’t see how special and sweet you are.”
~back in the night~
Thinking back at this conversation, it was pretty embarrassing that Kai obviously heard every single word of it. I couldn’t believe that he would really be eavesdropping. Something that didn’t fit the upright team leader at all. But how could I possibly be mad at him for it. Whatever reason there might have been, it was why I got this breathtaking kiss. Something I could remember and feed on for the rest of my life or at least until I found a new love. I ignored the tears that were running down my cheeks. They’ve grown way too familiar. And I knew that they wouldn’t stop any time soon.
Somehow I must have drifted off to sleep at some point in the night for the next thing I knew, it was bright white in the room. I needed to blink a few times before my eyes had gotten used to the light. Everybody seemed up already for I heard a lot of noises coming from downstairs. I looked at the time and was surprised to see that it was only half past nine. So I didn’t sleep that long. Finally I felt that my fever was gone, so I stood up and went to the bathroom to take a short shower. After getting dressed I went downstairs to find my friends in the living room. Seemed like they were waiting for me. The smell of freshly baked bread lied in the air and the table was all set for a big breakfast. “Ray, you’re finally up again. Is your fever gone?” It was the girl who noticed me at first. “Yes”, was all I could answer before she took me by the hand and led me to the table.
I was too startled to even say or do anything. The others just smiled and followed her lead. One after another took their seats for breakfast and it totally surprised me that somehow Kai ended up next to me.
*Kai’s POV*
It was fun to see how confused the black haired teen was. He was even a little bit cute. And for the first time in these past few days I didn’t want to punch me in the face for this thought. Up until now I didn’t want to admit it that the other one was indeed very sweet and that I did like him a bit more than just mere friendship. That was one of the reasons why I did what I did last night. And I knew that he remembered it all too well, judging from the way he was looking at me or trying not to look at me and blushing furiously after our eyes met.
*Ray’s POV*
Thanks to Kai’s permanent presence it was very hard to concentrate on eating, but it was pretty nice to be able to have breakfast with the others for once. The last days I was always alone in my room eating. So I tried to focus on that instead of our gray-haired team leader. It took nearly an hour until we were finished and cleaning up afterwards took another half hour.
I was just about to follow the others back to the couch, but somebody stopped me by grabbing my hand and leading me away from them. I was too surprised to react and honestly regarding who it was who dragged me away I didn’t intend to protest. He led me back up into our room and closed the door behind us. Only then did he stop and faced me directly. His eyes locked in mine and my heart skipped a beat. There was something in his gaze that wasn’t there yesterday. I couldn’t quite name it, but I knew it was there.
“We need to talk.”, he simply said and took a step closer to me. Unable to move I just stood there and waited for whatever. He took my hand again and directed me to my bed, on which we both sat down, our eyes still locked. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted back then. I was in shock because of something like that, out of the blue.” That was when I stopped him by shaking my head. “It wasn’t your fault. It was all me. I didn’t want to tell you, but after you said that it kind of slipped my tongue. Sorry.” I tried to avert his eyes by facing the blanket, but he just put a finger under my chin and nullified my effort.
And then I saw it, a slight smile on his face, which made my heart race. There was definitely something off with our team leader. “There is nothing to be sorry about. It just took me a while, but I guess your Christmas wish will come true after all.” That’s all he said before he came closer to me and for the second time I felt his lips on mine. It was way deeper and more intense than it was the first time, but nevertheless as breathtaking and wonderful. Almost instantly I closed my eyes and gave in to this indescribable feeling of his lips on mine. I felt his arms as they were wrapped around me, holding me tightly. His hands wandered over my back and I sighed contently. I couldn’t believe it, but it seemed like he was returning my feelings after all. Or was I still dreaming? Still in my bed, in some kind of feverish dream? Could someone pinch me?
The kiss lasted for what it seemed like forever. But at some point we needed to separate because of the lack of air in our lungs. As I opened my eyes again and returned his gaze I kind of knew that this was the reality. Finally I realized what it was that I saw in his eyes. Something that hadn’t been there before yesterday. So clearly, and yet it had took quite some time for me to figure it out. And he was even so kind to say it aloud too. “Listen, I am not the touchy feely guy, guess you figured as much, so I will say this only once and just for you.” He paused a moment and looked me deep in the eyes. I nodded as a sign that I had understood. “I love you too.”
For the next few seconds I was speechless. I just sat there and stared at him unable to move or say anything. He didn’t move nor say anything either. We just sat there in silence and listened to our heartbeats. I didn’t know how long this moment lasted, but at some point he stood up again and guided me out of the room again, heading for the others downstairs. Finally I came around and stopped him for a moment before he could hit the stairs. “Kai, wait a moment!” He stopped and turned around again. For a split second as I looked in his eyes again my voice was gone, but I found it again pretty fast. “What are you planning to do when we get down there?” He seemed to think about it, but I knew him too well to not notice that he had a plan long before. “Well, for once I guess we still need to exchange gifts. Because you were out with a cold we didn’t do that til now. And furthermore I will tell our friends what’s been going on between us.” “Are you sure you want to tell them?”, I asked a bit suspiciously, but he just smiled comfortingly back at me. “Very sure. They are our friends, we’re team mates. They have a right to know, don’t you think?” That sounded pretty convincing, when he put it like that. I returned his smile as I said: “Guess you have a point.” For a moment he looked me in the eyes then he continued downstairs and I followed. “I love you, Kai.” He didn’t answer nor stop, he just looked back at me and gave me a reassuring smile.
Our hands were still intertwined as we reentered the living room. I saw the slightly irritated faces on our friends when we came in, even though I was pretty sure at least Hilary knew exactly what was going on. And then Kai spoke to kindly resolve their confusion. “Hey, guys. We need to tell you something…”
*my boyfriend knows this sort of scream way too well…XD
