Brawl in the Family
Oogie-Boogie: 22 comments. This is slowly getting better.
Maniak: I wouldn’t call the last one a comment. All we got there was a “j” as an answer.
Oogie-Boogie: True. But at least someone seems to like the story.
Maniak: All I know is that I take the one advice to heart and put from now on at least a disclaimer in every chapter that is going to feature songs. You know, making clear that we are only using the songs or bits of them for the sake of parody instead of claiming them as our own and that they are owned by others.
Oogie-Boogie: Let’s hope that this is good enough.
Maniak: I hope so. Otherwise chapter 6 and 9 are only available on archiveofourown.
Oogie-Boogie: Which would be…
Maniak: You know, the chapters with Luna and…
SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT
Maniak: God dang it. You installed a spoiler alarm?
Oogie-Boogie: Yeah. To prevent situations like that.
Silence
Oogie-Boogie: We better get started.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
We are currently in the need of new proof-readers. We two have currently problems with ours because they are in college and don’t have much time to proof-read. So we would like to ask one of our readers, preferably one who has an eye for grammatical errors to help us.
Anyone who is interested may please write us a PM.
We will be thankful for any help with our grammatical problems.
Thank you and have a good day.
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Chapter 3: Brawl in the Family
by
Maniak & Oogie-Boogie
After a beautiful tasty late night dinner, Lincoln was ready to continue the party. It was weekend after all and there was no other reason to go to bed early. He was sure that he could convince Lori to suspend the sleeping-schedule as long as he wished. He just had the day of his life and now it was time for the night of his life with some “Awesome Wreck Siblings!“
“Sure Linki!“ Lori guaranteed with a smile. “We will party like it’s 1999.“
“I get the console!“ yelled Lana.
“I get the sodas“ Lola informed.
“I get the chips,“ Lucy sighed in a happy tone.
“I get my “Awesome Wreck Sisters Gaming Cosplay!“ Leni announced.
Lincoln couldn’t wait for the game to start, as somebody tugged at his clothing. He looked down to see that it was Lisa, her eyes as calm and collected as always but there was also a undercurrent of stress in them.
“What is up Lisa?“
“Can we talk?“ the second youngest asked.
“Sure, what is on your heart?“
Lisa looked around. “I would prefer to talk with you in private. Can we go to my room?“
“Yes, lead the way.“
He turned to the others. “I have to speak with Lisa but I doubt it will take long.“
“Make fast, bro.“ Luna responded. “The game cannot start without you.“
Up in Lisa’s room, the young child had the arms on her desk and her head was prone over her many notes as Lincoln closed the door behind him.
“Lisa? Are you okay?“
Lisa took a stool which was half as big as Lincoln, dragged it in front of him and climbed onto it. She stared Lincoln into his eyes with a neutral expression and Lincoln stared back in confusion.
“Lisa?“
Lisa took a deep breath, raised her hand and gave her only male sibling a slap in the face. The slap of a little girl was not strong enough to shove him back, but it hurt nonetheless. If not physically, it hurt at least emotionally.
“Lisa, what do you think…“ he started to yell but Lisa put her hand on his mouth, somewhat calming his anger and surprise.
“What do YOU think you are doing, brother? What do you think YOU are?“, she asked and took her hand away.
Lincoln was speechless for a moment. “What do you mean?“
“What in the name of Madame Curie, Albert Einstein and Werner Heisenberg do you think you are doing?!“
“I’m having a good time?“ Lincoln tried to explain, slightly intimidated from Lisa’s harsh and serious tone. “I do nothing wrong.“
“Nothing wrong?“ Lisa shook her head in disbelief. “Did you change too? Are you not anymore the Lincoln I know and respect?“
Lincoln was starting to get annoyed with Lisa. “I don’t know about the respect, but yes, it’s me.”
“I doubt it” Lisa countered with a stern look on her face. “The Lincoln I know would never treat his sisters like sla-“
Before she was able to finish her sentence, she remembered the time everyone was trying to determine where to go for vacation.
As such she decided to refit what she was going to say. “The Lincoln I know would never treat his sisters like servants to the degree you did today.”
“Servants?”
“I am inclined to use another word starting with the letter “s”, but I have the slight hope, that you would not go that far.”
Lincoln was appealed. “Lisa, how can you even hint…”
But Lisa didn’t let him finish. “The Lincoln I know would not brag to his other sisters, how much better he is compared to them. The Lincoln I know would question why his sisters are acting like teenagers in front of their favorite boyband. The Lincoln I know wouldn’t just take and take without giving. So tell me, who are you?”
Lincoln was furious. “You think I am some sort of monster?”
Lisa sighed. “This is getting us nowhere,” she stated. She felt a slight headache approaching and rubbed the back of her nose, before turning her attention back to Lincoln. “Let’s make a deal,” she proposed. “You are allowed to ask me a question, for which you get an honest answer, when I in return get one for each question I ask you. Deal?”
Lincoln just wanted to get this over with and play videogames, so he took her hand and shook it. “Deal!”
“So to answer your first question:” Lisa began. “No, I don’t think you are a monster. But I think something is happening to this family and you are also affected by it to a certain degree.”
//Please//, Lincoln thought unconcerned. He would realize if something was not right with him.
“My turn: Lincoln, can you tell me how our sisters act usually towards you?“
“Do I have to answer that in detail?“
“No, in general should be enough.“
He tried to remember how his sisters were to him in the past. He played with them, they got on his nerves, he hugged them, they made fun of him, they helped him, they were his friends, they were his foes, he tricked them, they tricked him, they fought, they had peace and he ate peanut butter with sauerkraut, which even Lana couldn’t swallow and she once had eaten a millipede with salsa.
He concluded his explanation with: “They are good to me. I never felt abused or mistreated in the past despite having quarrels with them from time to time. They act good towards me, including you Liz.“
“I… appreciate this answer“ Lisa said, trying to sound dry. “Your turn.“
Lincoln had an question which didn’t only just come easy to him but he thought was also fitting in regard of Lisa’s: “Now Lisa, how much do you like me?“
Lisa didn’t know why he would ask this, but after a second of thinking about it, she knew. “I still like you as much as I always did“, she assured him in a dry tone. “Your behavior is questionable at the moment, but otherwise still normal for you.“
This eased Lincolns mind. He liked the attention and the niceties, but something was amiss without any negative occurrences of any kind.
“How would you describe the quality of your day?“
“As the best day in my life,“ Lincoln answered happily. “Better than the day the school had to be closed for a week, after Leni took your container with radioactive elements with her and lost it on the school grounds.“
“Homeland security wasn’t so happy about it,“ Lisa grumbled, remembering this irritating day.
*********************************************************************
“Did anyone of you see Lisa?“ asked Leni some students in the school halls. “She forgot her lunchbox at home.” She showed the students a small container with a grip and the radioactive symbol on it. “Lisa is so small, has brown hair, wears glasses and… Hey, why are you running away? Come back, I need your help!”
*********************************************************************
She had a giant fallout with Leni over the entire affair and her older sister ran crying to her room after Lisa had called her an ignoramus with a brain the size of a subatomic particle.
She felt terrible about it and it took some time until Lisa was able to make up with her older sister again.
Lincoln noticed Lisa’s discomfort and changed the subject with his next question.
“Would you do my homework for me, Lisa?“
“No,“ came the quick reply. “You are intelligent enough to solve them on your own as long as Ms. DiMartino isn’t in your field of vision and I’m not inclined to do all the work for you.“
“Not even for a hug?“ Lincoln probed.
“That is another question,“ Lisa reminded him. “But okay: No, not even for a hug or a hundred hugs, regardless of the affection they hold.“
The boy knew now, that Lisa was still acting like she always did. No difference here except the slap in the face.
“Now, in regard of my last question,” Lisa began. “Don’t you think that you are egoistic with your behavior and how you exploit your sisters for a good time?“
“They give it to me,“ Lincoln defended himself. He felt correct with that statement. “I don’t blackmail them, they don’t do it because they are in my debt and they are happy with it too.“
Lisa couldn’t deny that he was saying the truth. Her research had nothing uncovered that could hint at blackmail or debt. Which in itself was kind of worrisome. Though if anything, she worried right now more about the way Lincoln replied to this, than anything else.
She wanted to dig deeper into this, but for now it was Lincoln’s turn.
“How do you feel Lisa?” her brother asked politely. “Different than usual?“
Lisa thought hard. The question in itself was simple, but if she incorporated the circumstances, the answer became very important.
“My commonplace status is normal, I am of course perturbed about the situation of our sisters and…“ Lisa stopped. She didn’t know if it was worth mentioning it. “I had the feeling from time to time to stop my research and joining the others in pampering you. I didn’t acquiesce to this sudden emotion.“
This sounded suspicious to Lincoln, but he suddenly had the feeling that he shouldn’t listen too much to what Lisa had to say. He shrugged the feeling off, wanting to continue with the ask-and-answer game. But then, much to his surprise she forfeited her turn.
“Ask another question,“ Lisa offered. “But in return, I can ask you three questions in succession.“
Lincoln shrugged with his shoulders. “Okay, then here is my question: Can you create a super-serum for me, which after drinking it, can give me superpowers?“
Lisa was dumbfounded. So far both parties had asked some level headed questions. But this?
“No,“ answered Lisa flat out, trying hard to suppress the urge to add the words “you numb nut” to the sentence. “You may think I can do everything but that isn’t the case. Giving you superpowers… The very idea in itself is scientifically speaking preposterous.”
Lincoln would have liked to dig a bit deeper into why that was the case, but it was now Lisa’s turn. Which was perhaps for the best, as a small part of him started to get significantly bored of this little game, now that he had pretty much confirmation for the fact that Lisa was still her old self.
“Your turn, Lis.“ said Lincoln while he was leaning against the door. “Give me your best shot.“
<i>//I will//</i>, Lisa thought, though not being really happy about it.
But before she would go for her strongest question, she had a couple of other ones to ask.
“When you and the others went to Gus' Games and Grub’s today …”
“Yes?”
“Did you think at any point about the consequences your little party would have for Lori’s job?”
Lincoln suddenly froze and his eyes went wide in horror as he realized. “Oh, no…“
“Lori told me and the others once how you overtook her night-shift voluntarily, after you exploited her for freebies.“ Lisa told with a hint of proud in her voice. “She said it was one of the most mature and altruistic acts she has ever seen from you or anyone else. But today…“
“Oh my god!“ Lincoln breathed in panic. “She will be fired after today!“
“No, she will not,“ Lisa said. “You see: It was “90%-Discount for all employees-day.“ according to a message on the blackboard in the backrooms.“
“Are you kidding me?“ Lincoln asked in disbelief but also relief.
“I’m certainly not one to joke, that is Luan’s territory,“ Lisa remarked. “And do I have to remind you, that it is still my turn with two more questions?“
“Oh yeah. Go ahead,” he said. At the same time, he couldn’t quite leave the feeling behind, how weird this sounded. This type of generosity by Lori’s employer and the oddly good timing just felt off.
“My second question: If it wasn’t for the discount night, Lori would have been in massive trouble for what you did today.”
The self-declared King of the Loud House winced inwardly. He was already feeling bad to a certain degree about his behavior today. Lisa didn’t need to rub it in further.
“Which in itself begs the question: Are you not afraid of causing your siblings any harm?”
“Oh come on, Lis”, Lincoln said, not liking where this was heading. “Okay I admit, I went a bit overboard. I should have thought things through at Gus’s…”
Lisa was glad to hear that.
“But I am not trying to harm anyone.”
He pulled out Lori’s cell phone, which she had given him when he was making a selfie with Mr. Yankovic and had since then forgotten to give back. Now he was shifting through its different folders to find the pictures he and his fellow siblings had made over the day. A couple of seconds later he showcased a bunch of different pics in which his siblings seemed to have the time of their lives with their brother. Smiling, cheering him on, hugging him or in one case, involving Luna, kissing him on the cheek.
“See? If anything I try to let them have just as much fun as I am having.”
“I have to say that they seem to have a substantial good time on the pictorials,“ Lisa admitted.
“What did I say? Everything is fine.“
“Too fine,“ Lisa found. “Don’t you see? They adore you like you are their idol, their master, their god!“
“You overreact, sis,“ Lincoln stated to reassure Lisa. “They… Just bottled up their love to me for too long?“ Lincoln smiled a very unsure smile.
“You aren’t so certain that their behavior is natural anymore, correct?“
“…Yes.“
“Good.“
Lisa walked back to her desk and started to write more notes about the information she just obtained. An awkward silence hung in the air. And unfortunately Lincoln, who was biting on his lips, felt as if he had to fill it.
“But… but does that mean I am hurting them?”
Lisa stopped writing for the moment and listened to her brother.
“No. I am just trying to have a good time. And why shouldn’t I? Lori always tells me how I should accept that in a family as big as ours, everyone has to make sacrifices. Fine. But why am I quite often the one who ends up on the short end of the stick?”
Lisa didn’t say anything. Instead she let her brother continue on with his ramblings.
“I always miss my favorite shows because someone else is taking over the couch, three of you are stuck with one chore while I take on more, my suggestions for how to spend the weekends get ignored four out of five times and god forbid I am taken serious once in a while. So if Luna can stay up all night for a concert, you can go on travels for the university and Lori can boss the twins around without getting mud or make up thrown at her, why can’t I just take an opportunity like this?”
Lisa was beyond furious at this point. In fact, she was absolutely livid.
If she didn’t have as much self-control, she would have chewed her brother out for acting like a spoiled child. She admitted that he had a point. That yes, in a family like theirs, he came a bit short. And if he asked her, she would have admitted to the fact that she herself wished for a bit more me time around the house, as well as the crazy of her sisters to calm down a bit.
But not the way it was right now. Not on the cost of her siblings losing who they were for her own benefit.
But instead of telling him, she let him calm down for now.
“I don’t mean any harm to them, Lisa. Besides, I doubt that one day of pampering their little brother would ruin everything for them in the long or even the short run,“ Lincoln answered more relaxed. “They will be fine.“
But the second youngest Loud child was not impressed by that statement. In fact, it convinced her even more that Lincoln was not himself. In her mind, there was only one more thing she could do so determine for certain, if her old brother or the sister controlling jerk she saw for the better half of the day was left to stay. And she hated to do it.
“Are we finished?”, Lincoln asked. “The others are waiting.”
“Oh yeah. The others.” Lisa said. “Our siblings. The ones you do not want to hurt. The ones you want to have a good time with”
Lincoln didn’t quite like how even more matter of fact than usual his little sister sounded.
“The ones you think will suffer no consequences for your actions and just be fine.”
Lisa turned around on her chair and looked Lincoln straight into the eyes.
“Tell me, dear brother of mine… Does that also include Lily?”
Lincoln’s face froze. His smile dropped and he suddenly had the feeling that the temperature in the room had dropped too. Only to realize that the only cold chill he felt came deep from within his stomach.
„What?“
„I asked, does that also include Lily? You see, with everyone being busy catering to your increasingly decadent needs, no one had time to take care of her.”
Lincoln blinked in disbelief. Truly Lisa was mistaken.
His sisters would never… Lily was… Lori had…
Lincoln tried desperately to recall the day and much to his horror realized that Lisa was right. They had forgotten Lily.
Shortly after he had taken his leave out of Lori’s room, his adoring sisters following him like the mice the pied piper, they had brought Lily into her room to take a nap. That was at least nine hours ago. Nine hours where they did anything he asked for but nothing else.
The cold he felt in his stomach had by then spread through his entire body and was now encasing his mind. Filling his head with pictures of his crying little baby sister.
“Oh god!” he exclaimed, his voice trembling in fear.
Lisa saw how his eyes began to slowly water up. “Lily…”
In that moment, something soft hit Lincoln at the back of his head.
He gazed at the floor, where a slightly worn out teddy bear laid right to his feet. Raising his head to the direction the not so new plush toy came from, he was rewarded with the sight of Lily in her crib, standing up on her two feet and happily waving her hand at him, while spouting gibberish.
“Lily!” he cried and in a speed that would have made a marathon runner proud, he was all over her.
“I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry…” he repeated again and again, holding her up and checking if anything was wrong with her. But thankfully, everything seemed alright with her, as he couldn’t find the tiniest scratch or bruise on her body. In fact, the infant was happily giggling at her brother, glad to see one of her other siblings beside Lisa for the day again.
Not that it made Lincoln feel any less ashamed of the fact that he had failed in his duties as an older brother.
“Are you okay?” Lincoln asked concerned. “Do you want your bottle? Some mashed carrots? Do you need a diaper change?”
“Tata,” was all the girl gave as an answer, pointing towards the teddy bear on the ground.
“Relax, Lincoln,” he heard his second youngest sibling, now standing next to him, exclaim. She handed Lily her “Tata”, who the infant affectionately pressed against her chest.
“As you can see, Lily has been taken good care off”
Lincoln looked at his sister in slight disbelief. He knew she was a genius that could do the taxes for the entire neighborhood in one afternoon. But taking care of Lily all by her own? “How did you manage to take care of Lily alone?”
“Well, I can’t arrogate the accolade for Lily’s care alone.“
“The what now?“ Lincoln wasn’t stupid but Lisa’s words were sometimes to unknown even for him.
“I had help. Let me introduce you to Alfred.“
Lisa took a remote from one of her drawers and pushed a button on it. The furnishings besides Lily’s crib started to change. They connected, changed their form and transformed into a mechanical being with a big square body, telescope arms and legs with two feet wrapped in caterpillar treads. The head of the being was square too, with red eyes and a mouth shield.
“Holy Terminator!“
“This is Alfred,“ Lisa introduced the robot to Lincoln. “A robot I build a few days ago.“
“I have to enslave humanity“, the robot said in a monotone voice.
“What?“ was Lincolns horrified reaction.
“Dang it. Not again,” Lisa cursed. She clambered up to the robots head and hit it with her screwdriver.
“Ouch!“ remarked the robot in a calm voice and its eyes became green. “How can I serve you mistress Lisa?“
<i>//Mistress?//</i>, Lincoln thought.
“Why was I awakened at this hour? Does mistress Lily need another diaper change or a bedtime story?“
“No, we can do that on our own,“ explained Lisa. “I just wanted to introduce my brother to you.“
The robot turned to Lincoln and said: “You have to be the single male of the Loud siblings. I wish you a good evening, master Lincoln.“
“Master?“
“He is programmed to see every family member as his superior,“ Lisa explained. “But he can’t do that much, besides taking care of Lily at the moment. His abilities are finite. He still has a lot to learn.“
“May Master Lincoln want to ask me about my credentials?” the rather crudely designed robot asked, leaning his heavy body over the, by comparison rather fragile boy. “Or would he desire a beverage in form of hot chocolate?”
“I am…fine,” Lincoln said with a nervous smile on the face, hoping the thing in front of him would not trip over all of sudden.
Lily on the other hand shared none of those worries. In fact, she happily giggled at the big mechanical beast in front of her.
“May I?”, Alfred asked, carefully moving his hands towards the infant.
In reflex, Lincoln pulled Lily closer to him.
“Go on, Lincoln,” Lisa said, encouraging him to give Lily into her creation’s care. “I promise you on all my doctor titles, that Lily will be safe with Alfred.”
Looking carefully between his two sisters and the robot, Lincoln, though hesitantly, did as Lisa asked him. Much to his surprise, the robot indeed did not hurt Lily. In fact, despite his hands being rather bulky claws, the robot managed to hold her just fine, slowly rocking and talking to her in baby talk.
While Alfred was busy attending to Lily, Lincoln took his other sister to the side and, after reassuring himself that the robot did not pay attention to them, whispered something into her ear.
“I saw many movies and I know what robots usually do then… You know like in “I, Robot”?“
“Don’t mention that squalor around me!“ Lisa snarled out in a unusual harsh tone for her, much to Lincoln’s surprise. “This movie besmirched the good name of Isaac Asimov and I will not stand for it.“
Lisa took a deep breath to calm herself down from that rather unusual outburst. “Alfred is safe and harmless, Asimov’s three laws of robotics make it impossible for him to harm any human. I even made sure to avoid the mistakes a colleague of mine made. He helped me to build the robot, but…“
“But what?“ Lincoln wanted to know. “Are you sure Alfred is harmless for Lily?“
While they were talking, the aforementioned robot was entertaining Lily by playing pick-a-pooh. Which based on his design was already quite an achievement.
“He is,” Lisa reassured. “But my colleague is… strange. Dr. Busch’s robots always go crazy, not in a killing-spree kind of way, but they destroy a lot of things.”
Lisa felt like she had to say more about her equally genius, yet rather bizarre colleague.
“He is from Germany and possible a little mad. Or at least he prefers the company of rather eccentric people, as he is living with an hyperactive stuntwoman and a nihilistic German artist, who spends most of his time starring at drying paint on walls.“
Then, to assure Lincoln again that things were alright, she quickly added: “But this robot is safe! I tested all his functions on myself before I let him took care of Lily.“
Lincoln needed a second to proceed what Lisa had just said.
“You tested all his functions on your- Does that mean he changed your diapers?“
“Ye… NO! My underpants of course!“ Lisa explained and added with a whisper: “With a diaper.“
Lincoln pressed his hands on his mouth to suppress a sudden torrent of laughter.
Lisa on the other hand turned her attention back to Alfred, who was carefully tucking Lily in for sleep.
“Good night, Mistress Lily” the robot stated. This earned him a heartwarmingly cute little yawn by Lily, who closed her eyes, ready to drift off to dream land.
Turning around, he asked Lisa if there was anything else he could do for her.
“No, that is all.”
“Asking for permission to enter off modus.”
“Permission granted,” the young scientist stated. In a matter of seconds the robot had turned back into what people would assume to just be a diaper changing table and a shelf for clothes.
“Okay, I admit, that was actually pretty cool to watch,” Lincoln said. He walked silently to the crib, to see if Lily was truly okay. And indeed she was, sucking at her thumb in deep sleep. Lincoln couldn’t help himself but smile at this sight, his heart filled with love for his little baby sister. At the same time though, he also felt the shame of having forgotten about her this day, arising again in his mind. But instead of letting it drag him down emotionally, he decided that he would try to make it up to her. That from now on, even if everyone was going to treat him like the king of the world, Lily’s wellbeing would be of true importance to him.
Careful not to wake her up, he affectionately stroke her head. “Good night Lily”, he whispered, giving his little sister a kiss on the forehead.
“If our other siblings were here, they would probably indulge in a collective display of affection to this sight, starting with a collective `Awwwww´.”
Lincoln was startled a bit. For a second he had totally forgotten about Lisa. He turned around and the look on her face made him realize, that she wanted him to start whatever conversation would come up next. But how should he start? What could he say, now that he had finally seen her point of view regarding the current situation in the house?
Eventually he decided the best thing was to do what he always did when he made a mistake: Own up to it.
“Lisa…”
“Hold it right there,” the resident genius said, interrupting her brother in his apology before he even started. “There is no need for you to apologize, Lincoln.”
“There isn’t?”
Lisa shook her head. “At least not to me. I admit, when I listened to your ramblings and your questions, I was worried. Worried that you had become a hedonistic little narcissist with delusions of grandeur. Or as people with a less sophisticated vocabulary would call it: A total douchebag.”
Lincoln’s jaw almost dropped. While “douchebag” was not the worst curse word he had ever heard, the fact it came out of his little sister’s mouth was just too bizarre.
“But your reaction towards my last question, your protective instincts towards Lily kicking in at the sight of my creation…”
The slightest bit of a smile began to form on the corners of her mouth. “Congratulations for passing my little test of character, Lincoln. And let me assure you, I, and probably Lily too, forgive you for your temporal loss of common sense.”
The boy in orange and blue sighed in relief. He had remembered how important the family was to him but now he wondered how he could have forgotten Lily in the first place.
He wasn’t the type to forget his siblings, except for Lucy who either had the ability of off-screen-teleportation, could make herself invisible or was simply a very good sneaker.
“Thank you, Lisa,“ he finally said and smiled at her. “I will remember to look out for Lily from now on.“
“It is not necessary but I and she will appreciate it. “
Then something hit Lincoln. “Did we even think about her during the schedule planning?“
Lisa nodded. “Leni was supposed to watch out for Lily today but most of the time she was with you, thinking about you, talking about you or making something nice that you could wear,“ she explained. “I know that Leni’s IQ is farthest away from mine but her cardiac is the biggest in a metaphorical sense.“
Lisa had talked to Leni, had tried to remind her of her Lily related duties. She had just said that she would look out for Lily later but she never did. Lincoln always had priority. She never had shown up, but at that point Lisa was already wrapped up in her research about Lincoln and the other siblings.
“I will confront Leni soon,“ Lisa stated, explaining her next move to her brother. “You in the meantime don’t forget Lily and do whatever you think is the right thing to do.“
“What do you mean?“ asked Lincoln.
“I give you a carte blanche: Do with the situation what you think is the best,“ Lisa explained. “I trust you to be responsible enough, just remember what happened here.“
Lincoln nodded. “I promise, sister. I will do nothing that could be harmful or dangerous for our family.“
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While Lincoln was staying in Lisa’s room to look over Lily for the moment, Lisa herself made her way to Leni’s room. She found her older sister there, sewing on an orange suit.
“Leni?“
“Yes, Lisa?“
“What are you doing?“ Lisa asked.
“I am sewing a suit for Lincoln,“ Leni explained in a carefree tone. “He needs one that represents his status as the best!“
“Is that the reason you forgot about Lily?“
“I will take care of Lily later,“ Leni said casually, not saying anything else.
Lisa had enough. She tugged at Leni’s green dress until she looked down into her angry eyes.
“It was your remit to watch over Lily today, you eejit!“
“Lisa, I don’t have a hermit who can watch over Lily,“ Leni explained in a friendly sounding tone while patting Lisa’s head. “But thank you for saying that I am elite.“
Only a lot of self-control stopped Lisa from biting Leni into her hand.
“By the way, are you going to come downstairs and play videogames with us?”, wanted Leni to know.
Lisa opened her mouth to say no. She was going to explain to her simpleton of a sister, that she had better things to do than engage in mindless fun, which was probably just going to accelerate whatever was causing her siblings to behave like that. But then she thought better of it, as she realized something in particular.
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While Lisa was busy talking to her second oldest sibling, Lincoln, still waiting and looking over Lily in her room, decided to distract himself further for a bit, by taking a look over the notes she had written during their little talk earlier. Well, at least he tried to read them. For as smart as she was, Lisa had quite frankly an awful handwriting when it came to anything she couldn’t explain in mathematical terms. He didn’t know if this was a result of her age or the fact that all scientists tend to write in a very fast manner in order to not waste time on making too many notes, but whatever the reason, it made reading her stuff quite difficult. The fact that it all was written in crayon didn’t help much either.
Still, if he tried, he could decipher some of the lines.
“Siblings showcase an unnatural high level of affection towards brother…”
Yeah, that he already knew.
“Devotion seems to increase if male subject returns affection by gesture of physical intimacy”
Wait, what? Physical intimacy?
“This includes as of now hugs, kisses or holding of hands…”
“Oh thank god”, Lincoln spoke out in relief. At the same time he began to reminisce about what he just read for a bit. Doing so, he realized that he and his sisters had acted over the course of the day in ways that were almost a bit too affectionate from how they normally showed their love for each other. E.g. Lana, who was even more boyish than Lynn, was quite often asking for her brother to hug her and when at one point he ruffled her hair, she giggled like a little girl instead of telling him to cut it off and throw a frog at his face.
And then there were his older siblings, who, as he realized only now, he had kissed quite often on the cheek today. In fact, counting with the one kiss earlier that day, he had given Lori at least four peeks on the cheek today. Why would he do that? Out of subconscious gratitude for her generosity?
Before he had any more time to think about that, he heard the door behind him open. Lisa had returned and she did not look all too happy.
“And?” Lincoln asked. “How did your talk with Leni go?”
“As bad as I expected,” the young genius lisped. “She didn’t even acknowledge the fact that she had to look after Lily. In fact, she was too busy making a suit for you while we talked.”
Lincoln was shocked. If there was one thing that united them all, it was that they all cared for Lily. Then again, if he already forgot about her…
“What do you think is causing that?” he asked, trying hard to hide his potential fright.
“Well, I at first assumed that some sort of intoxication is at play”, Lisa explained. By now she was back at her desk, sorting out her notes. “But I checked the water and the food. Nothing indicating that drugs are into play.”
She paused for a bit before she added: “Though I found out something really disturbing about the composition of dad’s meatloaf, which makes me consider to tell him he should stop buying his meat at Mr. Dibbler’s shop.”
Lincoln wisely decided not to ask further what she meant by that.
“I also highly doubt that some sort of radiation is at work here, as THAT would probably rather result of everyone losing their hair, than developing a fixation on you. And as I can only judge the situation based on behavioral observation so far, the most logical conclusion I have come to is as followed:”
Lincoln leaned in closely to hear it.
“Our siblings have been replaced by some sort of shapeshifting alien lifeform, which feeds of affection and has found in you a perfect source of nutrition.”
Lincoln took a moment to process what he just heard.
“That sounds like the season 2 finale of “Our friendly equines”, Lola watched last week.”
“I know,” Lisa admitted. “But that should tell you how desperate for an explanation I am right now.”
Lincoln groaned. “No other theory at all?”
Lisa shrugged. “I need more data input to formulate another potential hypothesis. But to do so, I would need to perform some invasive experiments.”
“No,” Lincoln said, the moment he heard the word “invasive”.
“But…”
“You know what mom and dad said about performing “experiments on your own siblings”.”
“Are you still mad about the fact I accidentally transferred your mind into a rabbit?”
“That is not the point,” Lincoln made clear, even if he really was still grumbly about that incident.
“Okay, fine”, Lisa stated in an attempt to calm down the situation. “But then I can only rely on observatory data.”
“Which means…?”, Lincoln wanted to know.
“You will have to indulge a bit more in your sisters pampering you,” she said.
A couple of minutes ago, Lincoln would have been thrilled by that idea. But now, with the realization of how weird things were…
“I know the idea of being around them now is less appealing,” Lisa said. “But as I stated earlier: I trust you to be more responsible with the power you currently have over our siblings. And maybe, if we create more or less “regular” conditions around the house, their behavior changes to the norm again.”
“You think so?”
“It is at least worth a try.”
Before they could further discuss what to do, a knock could be heard on the door.
“Hey dude, are you still in there?” Lincoln could hear Luna ask from behind the door. “Everyone is already waiting for you.”
“I am coming down in a second,” Lincoln stated.
“Sweet”, Luna exclaimed joyful. “Can’t wait to rock you like a hurricane in the game, bro!”
Lisa and Lincoln stayed quiet for a bit, as they heard Luna slowly go downstairs again.
He turned to Lisa. “Shall I?”
“Well, considering I told Leni you and I were going anyway…”
Lincoln was shocked. “You did what?”
“As I said, I need data. And what better way to observe the behavior of all of you, than a round of…”
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…AWESOME WRECK SIBLINGS!
The only game in the world, that gave the children of the Loud Family the chance to play all together at once, while also engaging in what they could do best: Fight each other.
Awesome Wreck Siblings was a rather recently published game by the well-known television network Nickelodeon that catered towards the one thing you could always make money off these days: Nostalgia.
The game was a more or less regular fighting game. Pick a character and area and fight till only one was standing. What made this game different from others was, that it contained over 50 characters (72 after the latest DLC) from well-known Nickelodeon shows. It was wacky, cartoony, funny… it even had a very therapeutic effect on many, as it was the only game in the world, where you could beat up former internet sensation Fred with a baseball bat, without having to face major legal consequences.
Of course, there was some squabble about who would get to play whom under the Loud siblings. Some got no contest, but Lori and Lola fought like tigers over playing Azula.
“You were Azula the last time!” Lola protested. “Now it’s my turn.”
“Fine,” Lori stated in frustration. “But then I am not going to play as Zuko”
After some more minutes of sibling squabbling, everyone eventually managed to settle for a character.
Lana took the gross duo combination of Sanjay & Craig as her character (partly because nobody else wanted to play them), while Lola got her will and played as the mistress of fire, Avatar’s one and only Azula. Leni, who had dressed up like Toph Beifong for the occasion, played the mishap of nature known as Catdog. Lucy was going to haunt the screen as the ghostly hero Danny Phantom, while Lisa played as the grumpy green sea dweller Squidward Tentacle. Lincoln played the Average Kid/Former President/Superhero Sidekick/Hero of the Fairy World Timmy Turner, Lynn took the mantle of robot XJ9, Lori played as the adorable Chucky Finster, Luan went for the nefarious wannabe-conqueror Zim and Luna played as an adorable bunny eared red little monster known as Ickis.
They choose the north pole of the Avatar world as their battleground, maximum of Items and it was a battle royal.
Everyone was on their controllers.
“The last one standing is the winner,“ Lincoln announced.
The battle and the chaos started just seconds later. In a game like this, good reflexes were king but also giants amounts of luck. Lola’s Azula attacked XJ9 with flames and punches while Luan’s Zim shoot with laser canons at Danny Phantom and Ikiss at the same time.
Lisa was more defensive and observed the playstyle of the others, noticing how nobody was attacking Timmy, the player character of Lincoln. He attacked them but nobody retaliated against him.
By the time the round ended, half of the sisters playing characters were dead. The other half had taken so much damage, that Lincoln ended up as the winner by default. Which wasn’t making him all that happy.
„Guys…“
„Yes, Lincoln?“
„Why weren’t you attacking me?“
An uncomfortable silence fell.
„What do you mean?“ asked Luna.
„Oh come on!“ Lincoln shouted, pointing at the TV screen. „Aside of Lisa, not one of you tried to fight back when I attacked you!“
„That’s not true,“ Lynn protested.
„Lynn, I went to the kitchen to get myself a coke while we were playing.“
Everyone aside of Lisa got suddenly nervous.
„You didn’t even notice I was gone and still didn’t try to fight me.“
„I did“ Lisa stated. „But then Lori summoned Reptar the Dinosaur as a special move and kicked me into the ice water.“
Lincoln pointed at his little sister, while addressing the others with a look of disappointment. „See?“
„But Lincoln…“ Leni started in a whinny tone, but he hold up his hand.
„Look guys, I… I like winning, but there is nothing fun by winning without a challenge. So please: Just fight me next round too, okay?
The others exchanged worried looks with one another.
„You really want us to fight you?“ Lola asked.
Lincoln nodded.
„And you won’t get mad at us if you lose?“ Lori wanted to know.
„Nope“
„You will not want me to summon a demon to drag the winner of this game to hell for you?“ Lucy asked.
„Can we just play again?“ Lincoln asked in return, wondering once more what sort of bizarre stuff aside of the average vampire novel Lucy was into.
„You heard him, girls,“ Lynn stated and took charge of her controller again.
„Let’s get ready to rumble!“
The next round was way more enjoyable for Lincoln, as his sisters characters actually attacked Timmy now and forced him to use Timmy’s special attacks like summoning anvils or driving on a motorcycle and trying to ram into his adversaries.
Lisa used Squidwards clarinet while Lori was sweeping with Chucky the two characters of Danny Phantom and Azula from the battlefield. The developers still had to nerf the little toddler.
“You can’t deal with this snake, you alien!“ Lana exclaimed, while Sanjay swung Craig like a whip at Zim.
“The snake called Craig doesn’t make me afraid, but his fate is too badly failed“, Luan joked and kicked Craig out of the ring. “Get it?“
While everyone was groaning at Luan’s wordplay, Lisa took the opportunity to grab for one of the games many items, in that case an Equalist’s shock gauntlet, which she was going to use on Lincoln’s character. She was already close to give Timmy Turner a shock treatment, when out of sudden Catdog attacked Squidward and took the damage.
„Stay away from my Linki!“ Leni shouted, smashing buttons and eventually pushing Squidward down the snow into an icy water grave.
„Dang it, not again!“ Lisa grumbled in resignation, letting go of her controller.
„Don’t worry, Linki“, Leni addressed her brother with a big smile, ignoring her four year old sister. „Your big sister is going to protect you!“
Almost immediately Lincoln could feel the temperature in the room drop. Everyone froze, their characters standing still on the screen. Except for Luan’s, who was throwing Double Dare slime all over herself in childish delight.
„Excuse me?“ Lori asked her roommate. „You are going to protect him?“
„Well, duh,“ Leni said. „I mean, I love him the most.“
„No way,“ the twins shouted in unison. „We do!“
„Quiet you two,“ Luna ordered.
„Girls, this is ridiculous,“ Lori stated. „Besides, I am literally the one who loves him the most.“
She leant in closer to Lincoln, making puppy eyes. „And he does too, don’t you, Linci-Link?“
Lincoln felt really awkward now. „Ehhhh….“
„Okay, that’s it!“ Lynn suddenly shouted. Next thing anyone knew, XJ9 grabbed Zim and threw him out of the screen.
„Hey!“ Luan protested, while the announcer just declared the second K.O. of the round. „What are you doing?“
„Making sure that I am the only one left to protect my little brother!“ Lynn replied and went after Azula next. Only to get hit by lightning.
Luna via Ickis then attacked her opponents with an item that summoned several bomb-breads she could freely toss at everybody, which she did. But it wasn’t helping her for long as Lori’s Chucky got the Shredder-Armor. And while he became slower, he got also more deadly in close combat and capable to shred Ickis out of the ring.
The chaos was now erupting with the sisters letting their characters run amok around Lincoln, which wasn’t unusual for an AWS game, but the fact that they ignored Timmy bar Lisa was unsettling and the things they said even more so.
“I’m the strongest!“ declared Lynn. “Here and in the game. Only I can protect Lincoln properly if it comes to it!“
“A brute like you would lose herself in combat and forget Lincoln’s safety,“ Lucy argued. "My refined dark knowledge can protect Lincoln even beyond the grave."
“Neither of you has the flow and the rhythm to help Lincoln in a case of emergency“, Luna claimed and Ickis used a scare attack to scare Danny Phantom away into the ice water. Which didn’t make much sense if one thought about it, but why should the Loud siblings do so, if the programmers already didn’t.
Because Timmy was not in danger to be attacked directly, Lincoln turned to Lisa.
“What do you think?“
“That Squidward’s clarinet is bollox in close combat“, she explained while she used Squidward’s long arms to push Catdog into the icy water. “I have to use it before the enemy is near.“
“I mean about our sisters!”
“Nothing about their playstyle, but their fixation on you even in a simple convivial game is something new and it is escalating. Make sure the fight doesn’t resume in the living room later. HAH! Got you Lori and your potent little baby!“
„Why you little…“ Lori grumbled under her breath, waiting for her character to respawn.
For the next couple of minutes, Lincoln just awkwardly sat there, eating chips and letting the madness around him unfold. Eventually the game reached the point, where every character, aside of him, had just one more life left.
„Well then dudes, this is it!“ Luna declared, charging Ickis’s horrific scare powers. „You better get ready to die!“
But before she had a chance to fire her attack, Azula burned him into a pile of melted barely recognizable flesh. „No. You better get ready to run, cause here I come!“ Lola shouted in a crazy laugh, burning Luna’s life points away.
“BAMM” exploded it out of the speakers, combined with a “K.O.“ and a cool lightshow.
Lola laughed with Azula about her victory over Luna. Her next targets were Lana’s Sanjay and Craig. She fired lighting at the two idiots, but to her surprise the two were suddenly protected by a shield-item which deflected the attacks back to her. While Azula tried to recover, Sanjay took Craig, wrapped him around Azulas neck and started to choke her to death!
“Sssshhhh…“ Sanjay whispered. “It is soon over…“
But then Craig became a level 9 wizard and just blasted Azula into the icy water with a magic missile.
BAMM!
K.O.!
“That was… disturbing“, Lana mentioned, not even knowing how she did that with the snake choking exactly.
Meanwhile, in another corner of the screen, Lucy used Danny Phantom’s ability to temporarily take control over his opponents, to overtake Zim and make him jump off the stage.
BAAAAMMM!
KO!
„Not fair,“ grumbled Luan while Lucy simply smiled over her victory. That was until Luan pointed out, that she had technically just committed suicide on stage.
“This game is getting darker by the second,” Lori commented. “Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa: Less shows from the network of this game and more from other networks from now on.“
“We watch what we want!“, Lana exclaimed stubbornly.
XJ9 under Lynn’s control attacked now Lana’s Craig/Sanjay. She used her prolongable arms and forced the duo back before shooting at them with plasma canons that replaced her hands in a seconds notice. Lana tried to dodge, but a few hits hit her character enough time for XJ9 to jump up to her and kicking her to the ground again. She then hovered over Sanjay/Craig.
“Time to end this,“ exclaimed Lynn.
She flew down, grabbed the two, flew up and threw them with so much force, they flew out of the screen and rammed into the moon, who exploded as a result.
BAMM!
K.O.!
“I have to admit, that was pretty awesome“ Lana said in a surprised tone.
With the number of participants reduced by half, the battle became way more intense. Lori was now determined on getting the better out of Lynn, constantly making Chuckie throw toy blocks at her. At the same time she had to jump over CatDog again and again, whose special ground move allowed the weird animal hybrid to turn into a furred wheel that damaged anyone it hit.
„Don’t you feel the least bit ashamed of hitting on a baby?“, Lori asked in between receiving attacks from both of her younger kin.
„Oh my gosh,“ Leni suddenly shouted and stopped her attack. „I am hitting a baby?“
Before anyone could answer that, Lori managed to grab CatDog and threw him against XJ9. Lynn tried to regain control of her character, but just then the game generated a random Avatar spirit on the stage to attack the players. While Chuckie managed to avoid the attack of the dark beast, XJ9 and CatDog had not as much luck. They ended up in the pranks of the beast, which vanished the next second with the two characters, causing Lynn and Leni to experience a technical K.O.
„Leni!“ shouted Lynn in disbelief. „Why did you stop attacking her?“
„I am not going to hit little children,“ Leni said in her defense. „Like, who do you think I am?“
Luna was confused. „Then why did you do so till then?“
„I always thought that Chuckie was just a very short man!“ the local ditz replied.
Everyone in the room could suddenly feel a headache approach. Everyone except Lori.
„Victory!“ she gloated to her other siblings, turning her glance away from the screen. „I told you I am the only one strong enough to protect Lincoln!“
Everyone else had a look of annoyance on their face.
„I am Chuckie! Wrecker of your…“
BAMMM!
K.O.!
Lori turned around, to see that her character had just been beaten into the ground by an octopus’s now broken clarinet.
„I think you forgot somebody,“ Lisa calmly stated, not even turning her eyes away from the screen.
„Dang it!“ Lori responded.
„Okay, that’s it,” Lincoln declared and turned the tv off. „No more games.“
„But Lincoln…“ came a collective moan from everyone except Lisa.
„We didn’t even get to beat up…“
„Yes Lana, I know we didn’t get to beat up Fred,“ Lincoln sighed, interrupting her.
„In fact, I really looked forward to beating up Fred. But this is getting ridiculous.“
He sternly looked his sisters into the eyes. „If you can’t get along while we are beating the tar out of each other, I think it is time for bed.“
Luan raised her hand. „But…“
„Now!“ Lincoln said and pointed to the stairs.
Everyone except Lisa stood up and made themselves ready to go upstairs.
„But I am still the one who can protect you best, right Lincoln?“ Lori asked, but only received a stern look.
Lincoln stood there for a couple more seconds, till he heard the bathroom door upstairs open and close, indicating that everyone was going to brush their teeth now.
Only then did Lincoln start to relax a bit.
„Well, that was an interesting display of authority,“ Lisa stated, while making some notes in her block.
Lincoln blinked. „Did I just pull a Lori on the others?“ he asked more himself than Lisa in total disbelief.
“You did indeed exert authority,“ Lisa confirmed. “And everyone followed your imperative, even Lori. Either my sad theory of you having leukemia is right or my alien theory is indeed the correct one.“
“Yes, that-“
Lincoln stopped.
“Cancer?!“ A lump of ice formed in his heart.
“This in turn is fairly improbable,“ Lisa quickly added. “I saw no signs of lugubriousness with everyone here.“
“Lugu- What?“
“Sadness. Nobody here can be such a good thespian, not even Luan, especially not all at once. I saw nobody cry or other hints that they have cried nor any other signs of depression or sadness, so I’m certain that you will subsist. Additionally, I think you would remember some recent visits to the hospital“
Lincoln sighed in relief, but expressed his displeasure as he said: “Thank you for scaring me so much. I only felt worse the day I thought our parents would throw me out and believing I wasn’t dad’s actual son.“
Lisa walked over to the gaming console and turned it off.
“I’m sorry Lincoln, it wasn’t my intention to frighten you,“ Lisa exclaimed honestly. “The alien theory is bogus too, except if the alien was really good at hiding its presence.“
Lincoln nodded and started to walk up and down the room. All of this made less and less sense. He himself wasn’t discounting a supernatural influence and there was still the possibility that his sisters were playing a joke on him.
“Could they play a joke on me?“ he asked out loud.
Lisa adjusted her glasses and looked through a few of her notes she had in her pockets. “That would be a very well executed joke,“ Lisa analyzed. “One whose punchline has to be a very astute one. In that case, I hope it is not something too vicious and cruel but I doubt Leni, Luna and Lucy would be part of that. Lori, Lynn, Lana and Lola I see doing a prank but not with an undue cruel punchline. Luan on the other hand…“
“What about you?“ Lincoln asked outright, interrupting Lisa. “If this is a prank you would be the best candidate to dispel my fears.“
“Yes, that sounds intrinsic,“ Lisa confirmed and crossed her arms. “They could have instructed me to watch over Lily, thereby Leni’s negligence would look authentic.“
“But…?“ Lincoln enunciated slowly.
“But I don’t have the time for such an elaborate prank!” Lisa expressed seriously. “My research is too important. I wouldn’t have started to research you at all, if this would have been less odd.“
Lisa walked into the kitchen to get something to drink and Lincoln followed her.
“Whatever is happening here is not a mere frolic prank“ she said while taking can of her favorite soft drink out of the fridge. “We have to figure this out in case it escalates. The game made it even more clear to me that something is erroneous here after none of our siblings was willing to attack your player character.“
“You did very well with Squidward sis,“ Lincoln mentioned. “I didn’t know that a clarinet could be so deadly.“
“Lots of exercise,” Lisa said while opening the soda can. “I have secretly learned all the characters’s special moves and their other weaknesses and strengths. I could even turn Henry Danger into a competent playing character”
“Now you are kidding me, aren’t you?”
She shrugged with her shoulders. “Got me,” she simply stated and took a sip out of the can.
A couple of minutes later, Lincoln and Lis were upstairs again with the others. While Lisa took to her room immediately, confiding to Lincoln that she was going to do a bit more research before laying down, Lincoln made himself ready for bed too. He had just put on his pajama, when it knocked on the door.
“Linki,” Leni’s voice could be heard on the other end of the door. “Do you have some time?”
“Give me a second”
He opened the door and was immediately greeted by his sisters, all in their sleeping attire, with slightly guilty looks on their faces.
“What is it?” he asked.
“We just…” Leni began, only to get interrupted by Lori.
“We just wanted to apologize for what happened downstairs,” Lori explained in a rather crestfallen mood. “We hope you are not angry at us for ruining the game.”
“Guys, come on,” Lincoln stated with a sigh. “I am not angry.”
“Really?”
“Yes”
Almost immediately he found himself once more in the center of a group hug.
Somewhere in the pile of siblings, Lola and Lana asked the following question.
“Hey Lincoln, did you enjoy your time?”
“Yes, I did,” Lincoln stated, pushing his sisters gently away. “In fact, I had the time of my life.”
Behind the door to Lisa’s room, an annoyed grunt was to be heard.
Lincoln meanwhile saw in the faces of his sisters genuine happiness for what he just said. Feeling that, acting out of character or not, they deserved his praise for making this the best Saturday he ever had, he added with a smile the following to his last statement. “And I own it all to you!”
A collective “aww” could be heard from the sisters in view.
The only thing ruining the moment was a very deadpan sounding “oh come on!” out of the youngest children’s room. This was followed by Lisa coming out, looking at her siblings with visible disgust. “That entire scene was so corny, I think I got diabetes.”
No one paid attention to her and Lincoln did his best not to address her, otherwise ruining the moment.
“I think I need another soda,” Lisa simply stated, the moment she realized that there were no consequences to be expected for what she just said.
Meanwhile, the boy of the white hair couldn’t deny that he didn’t detest the attention, but the surplus of friendly affection was starting to wear on him. He couldn’t believe that he would miss the more negative aspects of his big family, but he felt it was more for the sake of his sisters, they needed time for themselves.
“Can you do me a favor?“ Lincoln asked. Before anyone could answer, he continued with: “Take some time for yourself tomorrow. Do your own stuff.“
“But Lincoln…“ Lori started, but Lincoln interrupted her again.
“No!” he proclaimed with some force in his voice. “Lori, go type some messages to Bobby, Leni make some art or tailor something, Luna go play some songs by Leonard Cohen…“
“I prefer Black Sabbath“ Luna interrupted Lincoln now.
“Or Black Sabbath. Luan go watch some comedies with Leslie Nielsen.“
“Guys, snap out of it! You're looking at him like he was our mother for Christ's sake!“ Luan quoted jokingly and laughed. “Get it?“
“Is she talking about old people movies again?“ Lana asked.
“I’m talking about one of the classics Lana“ Luan explained. “Such fine comedy is rare these days.“
“Whatever,“ Lincoln responded with an exhausted sigh. “Lynn do some sports, Lucy write a poem or summon Gyngernathotep or any other outer guy.”
“Outer god,“ Lucy corrected. “Nyarlathotep, the black Pharaoh.“
“At least somebody is willing to make a Pharaoh black,“ Lincoln commented.
“And he doesn’t play card games,“ Lucy added. “So don’t ask.“
Lincoln continued his speech.
“Lana, make some time for your animals, play in the mud or repair something and Lola, do whatever beautiful people do.“
“It means she will have a wrestling match with Marilyn Manson,“ Luan referenced and laughed. “Get it?“
“Stop with the reference humor!“ Lori criticized with a annoyed groan. “Not everybody gets them or something classic.“
Luan thought for a moment and then snapped her fingers. “Criminals prefer booty-ful people,“ Luan joked. “Also beautiful people just have to lay on their backs to make…“
Before Luan could continue, Lori put her hand over her mouth. “No adult jokes with the younger ones around! You know the rules.“
“Sorry“ mumbled Luan, muffled by Lori’s hand.
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After everybody promised Lincoln they would to something for themselves tomorrow, they all went to bed. Lincoln was already lying under his blanket to get some rest from his awesome, worrisome and strange day.
//I hope they take my request to heart//, Lincoln thought. //Not only for my but also for their sake. Maybe they become normal again tomorrow.//
He was about to fall asleep, as suddenly he heard a voice beside his bed.
“Lincoln.“
He shrieked up in the darkness and turned around to see Lucy, holding a flashlight in her hands, which illuminated her face.
“Lucy, don’t scare me like that!“ Lincoln exclaimed angrily while he tried to calm down his heavy breath. “What do you want?“
“I’m sorry Lincoln,“ Lucy apologized in her usual somber vocalization, which was mixed this time with a sad undertone. “I just wanted to ask if I can sleep with you.“
An incredible awkward silence was suddenly filling the room.
“What?“ said Lincoln flat and with very wide eyes.
“I am scared,“ Lucy quickly clarified. “So I wanted to ask if I can stay with you this night.“
Lincoln was more than relieved that his initial thought was incorrect. But it sounded strange.
“Wait, what are you of all people scared off?“
“I… I don’t want to talk about it,“ Lucy said. “Please Lincoln, I just need somebody close by me.“
“What about Lynn?“
“She is already asleep and I wasn’t able to wake her up.“
Lincoln didn’t know how to feel about this. With the crazy having taken control of his sisters in the last 24 hours and Lisa’s warning in mind that it could get worse, he was genuinely contemplating if it was such a good idea to allow his sister to share his bed with him for tonight. Heck, the fact that Lucy supposedly got “scared” of something and as such was looking out for him, sounded just like an excuse to spend some solo quality time with him. But at the same time, she sounded genuinely worried. And he was still her older brother, so…
“Okay,” he sighed. He raised the covers up a bit and directed her to join him under them. “But only for tonight”
“Thanks Lincoln,” she said gratefully and went to rest.
“Good night, Lucy,” Lincoln wished her a pleasant sleep and turned his back to her, closing his eyes.
“Night Lincoln,” Lucy added and just laid there. She did so for the next couple of minutes, worried.
While her brother fell asleep almost immediately, she just stared at the ceiling, thinking about what made her go into Lincoln’s room in the first place. Cause it wasn’t just a desire to be with her older brother, that drove her here. No. Primarily, it was her friends.
Not the few kids at school she liked, but her friends from the other side.
Normally she trusted the specters from beyond the grave who she had befriended over the years and was in contact with almost on a daily basis very much. But as of yesterday, they sounded… Off.
While she managed to distract herself from them for the better part of the day by spending time with her siblings, especially her wonderful brother, she never could fully make them stop from talking to her. They were a constant whispering in the back of her head, which turned into a heated cacophony of voices the moment she tried to go to sleep. And what they said scared her. They told her that something was not right. That she and the other sisters were not supposed to act the way they did. That something was making them be so unnaturally nice around Lincoln.
How dared they? How dared they tell her, that her feelings for Lincoln were not real?
She called them liars and demanded an explanation. But all they did was claim, that they didn’t have one. They mumbled something about a magic box and a presence more powerful than anything from the darkest places of the underworld. As she heard that, she knew that her friends had to be lying. Cause what could be more powerful than the forces of evil? They begged her to listen, but she had enough. Chanting every incantation she knew, she broke her spiritual connection to them, silencing them immediately.
But even if she no longer had to hear their voices, their echoes were still ringing in her head. Filling her mind and heart with uncertainty and fright for what was going on. After all, the spirits never lied to her before. So why would they now? And why was Lincoln, not her brother, but the former US-president and one of her eldest ghost friends, so vehemently asking her to look out for her brother/his namesake?
Next to her, Lincoln mumbled something in his sleep about how much he liked to take the mantle of Ace Savvy’s sidekick to defeat the evil Dr. Erebos. She looked at him and shivered at the thought that something bad could happen to him.
Carefully not to wake him up, she moved closer and, in a very uncharacteristic manner even she was aware off, pulled her arms around him in a hug. She wanted to protect him. And in a bizarre way, she was also hoping that he would do the same for her.
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Maniak: There you have it folks. Chapter 3.
Oogie-Boogie: What? No funny line?
Maniak: What am I supposed to say? We wrote another chapter and we managed to prevent Lincoln from turning into a complete jerkass.
Oogie-Boogie: You mean, Lisa prevented him from turning into a jerkass.
Maniak: Hm… yeah, you are right.
Oogie-Boogie: You think anyone gets the reference regarding Alfred? And I don’t mean the obvious one.
Maniak: Depends on how many German readers we get.
Oogie-Boogie: Anyway, we hope you guys enjoyed the story. And by the way, it is to our deepest regret that we have to announce that Awesome Wreck Siblings won’t get an official release outside of the Loud House-verse.
Maniak: You can blame Gamergate on that. Or whatever.
Oogie-Boogie: In the meantime, we would be glad for some comments. And if there were some jokes that you really enjoyed, we would be glad to hear.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
We are currently in the need of new proof-readers. We two have currently problems with ours because they are in college and don’t have much time to proof-read. So we would like to ask one of our readers, preferably one who has an eye for grammatical errors to help us.
Anyone who is interested may please write us a PM.
We will be thankful for any help with our grammatical problems.
Thank you and have a good day.
