DavidB: Ein Taschentuch voll Himbeereis

Late in November, the news came down
That bloody Saint Nicholas was coming to town
This brought Panic and Mayhem to women and men
As the Christmas rush was beginning again.

In his trusty stealth fighter, Sheepie took to the sky
And there on the radar, something caught his eye
He spied the red fat man up in his sleigh
With all of his reindeer leading the way

(CHORUS)
Christmas sucks oh Christmas sucks
It is such a pain
Bringing stress to all the world
Driving us insane

Santa chased Sheepie all over the sky
'Til Sheepie was ready to surrender ans die
Why Saint Nick didn't shoot, well maybe we'll never know
But he suddenly cried out, "Merry Christmas, ho ho ho!"

(CHORUS)
Christmas sucks oh Christmas sucks
And so does Santa Claus
It's a plot to transform us in-
-to consumer whores

While Santa was distracted by his own Christmas cheer
Well, Sheepie flew around and shot him right up the rear!
The reindeer exploded in a shower of red
Father Christmas fell down and with a splat he was dead.

Sheepie then dropped another bomb on the sleigh
And then with a roar he was off on his way.
Sheepie, our hero, then received much applause
For ridding the world of Santa Claus.

(CHORUS)
Christmas sucks oh Christmas sucks
Every single year
Everyone just goes insane
Makes me want to swear.

Christmas sucks oh Christmas sucks
It is such a pest
Can't we schedule it for July,
When we're not so stressed?
When we're not so stressed!