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Autor:  Elvis
Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.

quelle: internet, autor unbekannt

Hot News: Katzenschlächter von Bad Tölz gefasst!

Autor:  Elvis
Katzenschlächter von Bad Tölz gefasst!

(nicht DPA)Der Mörder an über 25 Katzen im Raum Bad Tölz ist endlich gefasst. Die Haustieren wurden die letzen Monate lang mit geöffneter Schädeldecke angefunden. Überführt wurde der 26 jährige Mann durch Meldungen von kleinwüchsigen Mitbürgern. Klaus Zoglauer, 41 (126cm) "Es war verstörend! Ich war gerade auf dem Heimweg, als plötzlich ein junger Mann mit fettigen Haaren weiter vorne hüpfend auf mich zugelaufen kam. Mit den Worten "Da, nimm!" drückte er mir eine Pappschachtel, gefüllt mit Hirn in die Hände! Als ich sie dann angewiedert auf den Boden warf, hat er rumgeschriehen "WTF, immer noch nicht genug?! Verdammte Drecks-Quest!!", klaubte die Kiste auf und zog ab."
Der Mann ist sich keiner Schuld bewusst und augenscheinlich geistig verwirrt. Nach seiner Inhaftierung beschwerte er sich anfangs fortlaufend das er doch "sein Abo bezahlt habe". Im Moment ist sein Zustand labil. "Mehr als "Omg, Server down, omg, Server down" bringen wir im Moment nicht aus ihm raus." Sagte eine Polizeipsychologin aus Bad Tölz. "Wir können eine Beziehung zu Killerspielen nicht ausschliessen."

Wir danken unserem Reporter Peter für diese Nachricht.

sims -> von rpg zu adventure?

Autor:  Elvis
ich stufe ja die sims schon seid langem als rpg ein (nicht gerade das klassische rollenspiel wie das schwarze auge oder D&D, sondern eher wie das noch klassischere "papa, mama und kind" rollenspiel von kindern bis ca 10 jahre) aber nun scheinen die macher dieser spiele etwas weiter zu basteln. man kann konkrete situationen von lebenssituationen nachspielen. und wieviel freiheit man mit der "robinson" erweiterung "castaway" haben wird .... könnte spannend werden


*unschuldig pfeif*

Autor:  Elvis
1691: I am not allowed to laugh maniacally at the DM when he says an army is approaching.

1692: I am not allowed to ever cast windwall, control wind and Blade barrier in sequence again.

1693: Neither I nor anyone else, shall ever refer to the "Giant Blender of Doom" created in #1692.

ich hatte nie solche ideen beim rollenspiel. wirklich nicht. ganz und garnicht.
(ich hatte nur mal nen magischen panzer gebaut (D&D), und 4 überschwere laser mit nem antigrav zusammengeklebt (Battletech), bei R&D angeheuert (Paranoia), ...)


hmmm seite ist gerade down. hoffentlich kommt sie wieder

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