Ten Reasons Not to Date Draco Malfoy
The hearts of dozens of young (and a few witches in their best age such as myself) broke, when the extremely handsome bachelor Draco Malfoy announced he was gay last year. Still, the silverblond aristocrat makes our knees weak whenever he is spotted at any event due to his absolutely delicious looks (for the latest updates on steaming hot male fashion remember to turn to page 24).
However, the most wanted gay bachelor of the whole Wizarding World seems to be rather picky when it comes to choosing a suitable partner. Even though he has been seen in the company of several adorable young wizards (the last time we checked, no other than the Oliver Wood accompanied him at the Ministry's Yule Ball), none of them seemed to be able to keep up his interest long enough for a second date. For all you cute boys out there, we therefore have come up with a very carefully researched list of reasons why it better for you not to date Draco Malfoy.
1. He is anything but approachable
Draco Malfoy is a rare sight in public to be fair, so it will be hard to spot him at all. But even if you managed to meet him, it is more than likely he will refuse to talk to you.
2. He does not like company
On the rare occasions that we met the handsome bachelor he openly explained to our reporter that he preferred solitude over small talk at any time.
3. He is very secretive about his private life
Little is known about how the beau prefers to spend his free time. So far he has scarcely been spotted outside his work space as highly appreciated consultant in the healing potions sector.
4. He is obsessed with his looks
Draco Malfoy is one fine man. And unfortunately he knows that far to well. You will never find him not wearing a perfectly tailored three-piece, his hair groomed for the gods. And we are sure he suspects nothing else from his partner.
5. He is very conservative
Even though being open about his sexual preferences, the Malfoy heir is known to be rather conservative. So wild party nights and hot make out sessions are hard to imagine.
6. He is a real traditionalist
We all have come to enjoy some of those crazy Muggle inventions. Draco however refuses to interact with any kind of technology. It is even said that he until today does not even own a telly.
7. He has a dark side
How could anyone forget the dark place, this beauty has blossomed from? Despite all his charms and success today, there is still this aura of sadness lingering above the young gentleman's head that from time to time gets insufferable.
8. He cannot stand cowards
...but Draco Malfoy is not a coward. And he cannot stand people being imitated by society. Therefore whenever he is asked about his attraction towards our other bachelors previously featured in this column he declared that he would never again go out with anyone still in the closet.
9. He is not the guy for great gestures
Do not expect any grand gestures from this guy, as much as he looks like a fairytale prince. Being this handsome, the astonishing wizard never had to fight for attention and therefore will not feel the need to show his affection publicly.
10. He does not date
And last but not least, the most impotant reason: Draco Malfoy does not date, as he declared himself. He just recently told Witch Weekly that he indeed has "no intention to enter any kind of serious relationship in the next few years."
So all you cute gay wizards out there, be strong, Draco Malfoy is no option for you either. Check out our bachelor of the week in our next issue when we are going to take a closer look into what buttons to push to get to know...
Harry sighs heavily, putting away the rubbish article Daphne had carelessly tossed into his face and tries his best to offer her a crooked smile. 'Well researched' seems to be a rather lose term, at least when the Weekly Witch uses it, he thinks grimly. At least half of the reasons to not date Draco could not be further away from the truth.
Harry stretches lazily, enjoying the soft late morning sun that shines through the massive window front of the living room. Coming from the kitchen he can smell a faint idea of coffee. It has been a long night and he is not in the mood to discuss Draco's datability. Not as long as his own lips are still swollen from stolen kisses of laughing girls and adorable blokes. His head still heavy from the lack of sleep and alcohol he almost dozes of again into the warm whiteness of a comfortable sleepy Sunday morning.
The weight of another body forces him to flutter his eyes open once again, but he barely moves his long legs to just make enough room for the other man. Only dressed in boxers and a loose white shirt without sleeves the other guy clearly has not really woken up already either. His tattoo-covered arms cross behind a messy bunch of pink hair and his feet fold elegantly on the coffee table while the other man grabs the neglected newspaper. The sun reflects in the longish strands of hair that have fallen out of the loose bun. His face is covered with a few dozen light freckles, especially around the pointy nose. The dark eyebrows contrast nicely with the light hair. Earrings hang from his left ear, four rings and a tiny tunnel, not even half an inch in diameter. Even though he clearly lacks sleep his face is still quite attractive, the tiny smirk softening his sharp features.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Ten reasons not to date me? Oh that must be a new one!", Draco snarls, biting into one side of his pierced lips while looking at Harry with an amused grin.
And all over sudden the previous Golden Boy of Gryffindor is not so sure anymore if he could come up with even one single reason why one should not date Draco Malfoy.
'Oh crap, please tell me it is just my drunk horny self that made me think that,' he prays to whomever might hear him. But secretly his consciousness whispers in his ears that it is not the first time his heart has skipped a beat when those grey eyes focused on him.
But let's not jump ahead in our story. I think we have to rewind a few weeks back to a point when Harry Potter did not even dare to think about meeting dear Draco privately or could have ever considered crushing on his couch regularly. Our story in fact starts at a point when our beloved Gryffindor did not even have a clue about the actual Draco, who quite enjoys everything muggle from partying to tattoos and especially gay bars...
