Unravel von Pandir (Breaking news: Rivals hold hands!) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: Unravel ------------------ “What's the matter, Kaiba? You don’t seem to be at your best today.” Seto gritted his teeth. It had only been a matter of time until his opponent would read his hand with Seto giving himself away like that, and trust Yugi – the Other Yugi, to be precise, but as far as Seto was concerned, there was only one Yugi that mattered anyway – to see right through him when Seto least wanted him to. They had just finished their fourth round of that silly childish card game Yugi’s friends apparently enjoyed playing - Go Fish, as Yugi had called it while explaining the rules -, and Seto was getting the distinct feeling that it had been a mistake to come here. But there was no way Seto would ever back away from a challenge, especially not one proposed by his only worthy rival, no matter how pedestrian it might have sounded to be invited ‘to play some card games at Yugi’s place tomorrow at five’. It was not exactly on par with arranging a Duel Monsters tournament so they could face each other in a virtual colosseum on top of a sky-scraping tower, and Seto had pointed that out, but it hadn’t deterred the Other Yugi at all. “Yugi suggested it, and I think it might be a good idea, too. You know, just us and our cards, without anything else being on the line for once.” There was something to that sentiment of exclusiveness that Seto had found very hard to resist, and when the Other Yugi had added “Besides, I wouldn’t want you to get rusty before your next big tournament” with that cocky smile of his, Seto could not refuse. So, this was it, the promised private face-off. Just them, sitting on the floor in a high schooler’s room, jacket and coat off for once and nothing but a deck of cards between them. Since Seto had insisted that this wasn’t the right stage for a Duel Monsters match, Yugi had proposed to use ordinary playing cards. Not that the game or the location mattered when it came to Seto’s performance, though he did prefer grander stages than this small, cosy room that was cluttered with game items, toys and a few awkwardly stowed away school utensils to give the illusion of tidiness. And with Yugi as an opponent, even a laughably simple game like Go Fish provided an interesting challenge. So despite this lacklustre setup, each round was nothing short of a duel, even if it was played on a cheap, slightly worn carpet and Seto had to sit with his legs crossed awkwardly so they wouldn’t be in his way. Still, it was decidedly different from the grand battles in a KC stadium – less intense, maybe, but also closer, quieter. And something about this arrangement, with Yugi sitting right in front of him, so very at ease with Seto’s presence and the privacy of this little room, had slowly started to put him on the edge. It didn’t help at all that even though the game was ridiculously simple, Seto had kept losing spectacularly so far, but what bothered him most was something far more trivial that had become increasingly difficult to ignore. Due to their physical proximity and the nature of the game, Yugi kept touching him for what could be only split seconds while they were exchanging cards. It was entirely accidental, nothing more than their fingers brushing when Seto handed his cards to him, but Seto felt it so distinctly that he at first had almost jerked away from the contact like he had just received an electric shock. In general, Seto did not appreciate any invasion of his personal space, and usually, everyone around him naturally kept their distance. No one simply approached Seto Kaiba, and no one touched him, especially not without permission. It was as if Yugi was not at all aware that there was a distance to be kept, an invisible line not to be crossed, yet as much as it disconcerted him, Seto found himself unexpectedly captivated by their casual contact. After a few matches, he even started anticipating it each time reached for the card he was handed, drawn to this novel surge of excitement he felt when his fingertips touched Yugi’s skin ever so briefly. Of course, it did not take long for Yugi to notice how preoccupied he was. Seto did not appreciate the look Yugi gave him, intent and searching, as he collected the cards from the carpet to shuffle them for the next round. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Seto retorted, and he busied himself with collecting the cards in front of him, coincidentally avoiding Yugi's gaze. There was no reason for his heart to beat so loudly in his chest all of a sudden, like he had been caught, and Seto tried his best to ignore it. “In any case”, he added quickly, deciding that attack was the best defence, “you can’t expect me to gladly waste my time and my skill on a game for children-“ The words got caught in his throat. Instead of taking Seto’s cards, as he was supposed to do, Yugi had decided to idly brush his fingers over Seto’s hand, causing Seto to freeze mid-motion, his pulse still loud in his ears. Of course, Yugi knew exactly how to exploit his slip-up, instinctively going for the exactly right weak points that would make Seto’s defences come undone. “What are you doing?”, Seto snapped, though he did not pull his hand back. After all, that would have been equal to retreating and, what was worse, it would expose his weakness. To his dismay, the anger in his voice left Yugi entirely undeterred and his hand was still resting on Seto’s as he looked up to him. “You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to find out, Kaiba”, Yugi said, thoughtfully, “Outside of battle, for once.” Seto did not know what had brought this on all of a sudden, but he knew he did not like it one bit. He knew nothing but the thrill of battle, its soaring heights and its crushing lows. What could possibly matter beside that? Anything else was not worth his time, anything else was not something he wanted to concern himself with. But Yugi’s fingers were warm, their gentle touch so foreign, and Seto’s heartbeat faltered when Yugi moved his thumb over the back of his hand in what could be meant as nothing but a caressing gesture. “I don’t think there is much to find out.” No matter how much he tried to keep his composure, Seto could not hide the wavering in his voice entirely, even though he forced the words out as quickly as possible. They were treading unknown territory and he had only very vague suspicions of what Yugi might be aiming at, which was already enough to fill him with unease. “That's alright”, Yugi said, and there was an earnest gravity in his voice that seemed reserved for talks that had the unnerving tendency to get under Seto’s skin. The openness in his words, however, came as a surprise. “For the longest time, I didn't know much about me, either. There are a lot of things I still don’t know.” He paused, and a smile spread on his lips as he cocked his head in a way that was so irresistibly challenging. “We could discover some of them together.” There was something daunting to that proposition, and there was a promise behind it that eased Seto’s rising uncertainty. Maybe this was not that much different from a duel between them – a way to find himself and define himself, the core of who he really was and who he aspired to be. But there were no cards in his hands, no weapon to use in this battle, just another hand on his. In a frustratingly natural, almost casual way, Yugi interlaced his fingers with Seto’s, and the sensation was so strange in its tenderness, it was like a wave of hot water washing over him, leaving shivers in its wake. Unable to handle this sudden helplessness, Seto immediately pulled away to grasp Yugi’s hand instead and hold it in place, desperate not to show how easily Yugi had affected him. Yugi looked at him, slightly surprised, but he did not pull away. As he let Seto hold his hand, there was something appraising in his gaze, just like he had seen right through Seto’s strategy before Seto had even played his cards, and it made Seto nervous in a way he’d never felt before. He was suddenly very aware that his fingers were cold and rigid against Yugi’s skin, but he did not know what else to do, so Seto held Yugi’s hand in the only way he knew how, clasping it as tightly as he could. Clutching the other’s fingers, Seto vaguely remembered an even smaller hand in his, squeezing his fingers so much it hurt. It was something he had almost forgotten, together with the overwhelming feeling of abandonment and anxiousness that could not be erased entirely by the comfort of two hands clinging to each other. It surprised him that he even remembered as much. All of this had been almost a decade ago - it might as well have been part of another life. He had been different back then, small and vulnerable. But even though he was no longer a scared, young boy and very much in control of his own life now, he had held no other hand since and he did not know what else to do. All he knew was that he suddenly found it hard to let go. “Kaiba”, Yugi interrupted his thoughts, and there was something pained in his expression, despite his slightly amused tone, “you don’t have to clasp my fingers like that.” Seto did only release his grip a little bit at that. This was the only means of control he had right now, and he would not relinquish it. “What do you want to me to do, then?”, he asked, warily, but finally able to press forward now that Yugi’s hand was trapped in his grasp and unable to distract him any longer. It was time for Yugi to show his true intentions. “You were the one talking about ‘discovering’ something, though I can’t possibly imagine what you are planning to get out of this, if not trying to humiliate me.“ “Let me show you.” There was a decisiveness in Yugi's eyes that was almost reassuring. He was not entirely sure if he wanted to find out where this was going, but what he wanted even less was Yugi to believe he, Seto Kaiba, was afraid. So he was determined not to flinch when Yugi leaned forward to close the gap between them, even though he could not prevent his breath hitching when Yugi’s fingers brushed Seto’s wrist to then wander higher up his arm in a careful, measured pace. “How is this?”, Yugi asked, blunt as always, his eyes still on him with unnerving calm. Seto had to grind his teeth to keep himself from biting his lip. His nerves were tingling under Yugi’s fingertips, and even though it was not discomfort he was feeling, it was as if he was strangely unreal under Yugi’s hands. To him, his body was nothing but a faultily constructed platform he needed to exist and interact but that he was not really connected to. As such, he was not meant to be in this situation, to be subjected to this kind of caress that spoke of affection, directed at not just his skin and flesh and bones, but –-him. As he felt the hand on his arm, the gentle pressure of its touch, that was somehow what unsettled Seto most. It was laughable to a degree how much Seto struggled to grasp the reality of another hand on his shoulder, moving over his collarbone to his chest, when at the same time, he felt the path of Yugi’s fingers so distinctly, prickling on his skin even through the fabric of his turtleneck. Against this slight pressure of Yugi’s hand on his chest, Seto was very aware of his own breathing, of his body working right beneath Yugi’s touch. Had his heartbeat always been this loud and forceful? And when had breathing become so difficult? Yugi’s touch was different from others, not accidental, not meant to intimidate or restrict. It had purpose in a way Seto not quite understood. To Yugi, he was tangible, real, the entirety of him right beneath his skin immediate and exposed to his touch. That realization, as disconcerting as it was, helped Seto focus, though he was not entirely comfortable with being condemned to this passiveness, unable to figure out how to defend himself, assert himself, to do anything but to retreat. “Is this all?”, Seto asked, not as sharply as he would have liked to, but there was a lump in his throat even swallowing did not get rid of. “You really just expect me to sit still and play along with your little game, Yugi?” “You can touch me, too, if you want to”, Yugi was quick to point out, and Seto was almost pleased to see that there was a hint of uncertainty in the way he frowned. “This is about discovering yourself, after all.” When Yugi pulled his hand back and broke the contact, apparently not so forward anymore, it was as if a spell had been lifted from Seto, and it left him weirdly open and lost. But Seto would not let Yugi back out of his bluff that easily – instead, he caught Yugi’s wrist in a tight grip. It was not that he couldn’t handle Yugi’s touch, and he would prove as much. “Kaiba, let go”, Yugi told him, not as patient anymore, but as he tried to yank his wrist out of Seto’s grip, Seto pulled him closer. His reaction was instinctive, forceful and sudden, but Seto had nothing to go on but a diffuse sense of need and a desire to not let Yugi retreat, not now. Yugi made an indignant sound that was muffled by Seto’s sweater, but he did not really fight it. Now that Seto had him caught in his embrace, it was strange how small he was, with Seto’s long, thin arms wrapped around his slender form. Seto had somehow never considered it, but now, their height difference was not only impossible to ignore, it also made the angle of this embrace rather awkward, but Seto could not care less. All Seto wanted was to hold onto, to not be abandoned but to possess, to relieve whatever strange longing Yugi had stirred up inside of him with nothing but the touch of his fingers, so Seto dug his fingers into the fabric of his black sleeveless shirt at Yugi’s back. “Kaiba…”, Yugi protested, his tone chiding, but astonishingly soft, once he’d managed to incline his head enough to breath. The only good thing about their current situation was that Seto’s face was effectively hidden from Yugi’s view, because the fact that he was clinging to Yugi in a rather ungraceful manner was quickly catching up with him. For some reason, that made his cheek heat up in a most undignified way. “Kaiba”, the Other Yugi’s voice repeated, a bit more reprimanding this time. With a short exhaling of breath, Yugi let his hands wander up to Seto’s shoulders to push him away, gently but decidedly. “If that is what you have in mind, let’s do it in a more comfortable position.” Seto realized he had effectively backed himself into a corner. Slowly, he let go of Yugi, now both flustered and confused with his face and ears still burning, yet he stubbornly tried not to let that ruin what was left of his composure. Somehow, this was not the same kind of humiliation that came with a crushing defeat - this was a different brand of nervousness that made his palms sweaty and his mouth dry. Seto wasn’t even sure why he felt this way, but most importantly, he did not see how anyone could come out of this and feel like they were winning. In fact, Seto could not remember ever feeling this inadequate when it came to handling a situation, like he was barely more than a clumsy, fumbling teenager and not the prodigious head of a successful company and a top-tier duelist rivalled only by one. “You’ve really done enough already”, Seto managed to get out, his voice strained. Accusations was all he had left to defend himself. “If you want to stop, that’s fine”, Yugi conceded and sat back, a bit awkwardly reaching for the cards again that were still scattered across the carpet. “I really don’t want to push you-” “That is not what I meant”, Seto interrupted him, sharply. He did not know what he meant, or what he wanted, but he wouldn’t let Yugi back out of this, after he had reduced him to this mess. Yugi should take some responsibility for this particular train wreck. Before he could argue this point, however, Yugi put the cards aside and got up. “If you can’t make up your mind, leave it up to me.” The Other Yugi’s eyes locked with his as Seto looked up to him, and Yugi offered him his hand. Somehow, Seto was reminded of their tag team duel, when Yugi had asked him to trust him, to rely on him, in order to win. More vividly than anything else, Seto remembered the rush of elation when they had finally obliterated their foes together, their strategies aligning as they had perfectly anticipated each other’s moves. As Yugi pulled him to his feet to lead him to the bed, his hands were resting on Seto’s arms, guiding him, pulling him with him when Yugi reclined against the bedrest, and Seto found it not as hard as he had expected to follow his lead, at least for the moment. The thought came with a certain thrill, just like the slight shiver that ran through him when the Other Yugi’s fingers were running through the hair on his neck, sending his nerves tingling whenever they touched bare skin. Spurred on by his reaction, Yugi kneaded the nape of his neck with his thumb, his fingers buried in Seto’s hair, and it was overwhelming and not enough all it once. Seto made a soft, helpless noise, entirely unable to form words as he was overcome by this sensation that overrode all his distracting thoughts and send goose bumps down his spine. Seto wasn't even certain if it had been Yugi who had pulled him into this embrace or if it had been him who had curled up to Yugi, clinging for contact - it was hard to keep track of what was happening to him, to focus on anything but Yugi’s hand, stroking the fine hairs on his neck. But it mattered little how he had gotten here, lying on a bed that wasn’t his own, Yugi warm and tangible with Seto’s arm wrapped around him and Seto's head resting on his chest. All else was faded out, meaningless and trivial, and listening to his steady, strong heartbeat beneath him, Seto felt the agitation drain from him. It was beyond him why he would have ever felt out of place. Yugi knew him like no one else did - they had experienced each other at both their best and at their worst, and they had pushed each other to their limits and beyond again and again. This kind of apprehension had no place between them. There was something immensely comforting in that thought, just as it was to simply lie here with Yugi right beneath him, to hear every breath he drew, to feel his fingers entangle with his hair, he himself apparently no less captivated with this simple gesture as Seto was. When Seto closed his eyes, a drowsiness overcame him, so different from his usual numb exhaustion, and before Seto knew it, he was already drifting off, lulled in by the subtle swell and fall of Yugi’s chest. For years, Seto had only managed to find sleep after almost passing out from working until late, and it had always been shallow and restless. He had all but forgotten what it was like to slowly wake from a night of deep, sound sleep, and it was disorienting at first, especially since he couldn’t immediately figure out where he was. The sun was shining brightly already through the half-closed window shade, and Seto found himself in an unfamiliar room, on an unfamiliar bed, together with a person that was everything but. Even though Seto must have slept for hours, the Other Yugi was still there, leaned against the bedrest, his eyes closed. In fact, he had barely even shifted. A feeling rose in Seto’s chest, a pleasant tinge of satisfaction at the fact that Yugi had spent his entire night with him without even considering to leave. Yugi must have been already awake, because he opened his eyes immediately when Seto lifted his head. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”, Seto demanded as he drowsily blinked into the blinding daylight. “It’s Sunday, so there is no school today”, Yugi said, as if that perfectly answered his question, “And Yugi does not mind.” That was not an explanation Seto cared much for, but the Other Yugi seemed to be very serious about making that clear. Still, this feeling of satisfaction in Seto's chest grew with the knowledge that Yugi had stayed with him despite being obviously torn because of his consideration towards little Yugi. “You still could have woken me up sooner”, Seto insisted, more out of principle than anything. Yugi reached over to brush a few stray strands of Seto's hair back, and Seto generously let him proceed with just the hint of a glare. There was something strange in Yugi’s smile that Seto could not quite place, and it made him wonder what Yugi had gained from having him sleep like a stone on his chest for an entire night. “You looked like you needed it.” Seto made a noncommittal noise. He preferred to assume that Yugi meant a good night’s sleep, and nothing but that, yet he avoided Yugi’s gaze. No matter how pleasantly sleepy he felt, it was high time for him to leave. The fact that he had been so close to Yugi all night was starting to truly sink in, and he was getting uneasy with their proximity. What he needed was time, and space, to figure his thoughts out. To his relief, Yugi did not try to keep him from leaving when Seto decided that he had wasted enough time here, but he accompanied Seto to the door of the Game Shop downstairs. “We should do this again sometime”, Seto announced, as matter-of-factly as he could while he put on his coat, already half out the door. He did not wait for an answer, expecting Yugi to take his words as nothing but a challenge to another round of card games. He had no doubt Yugi would know that this didn’t rule out anything else. Seto would never admit it out loud, but even though he had overslept, coming here had maybe not been such a mistake after all. After all, there was this strange, new feeling of contentment humming right under his skin, and when he ran his fingers over the back of his neck, he believed he could still catch the faint warmth of a hand that had been resting there all night. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)