Platonic

The Naked Truth

Maniak: Sorry it took so long for the next chapter. Stuff came up.
 

Oogie: And from now on things get really weird.
 

Maniak: “It is time for the great drama bomb this fandom loves so much. In the style of two snarky meta-loving doofuses this time.“
 

Oogie: “We thank ultrablud2 for his continuing proof-reading assistance.“

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Chapter 8: The Naked Truth
 

Since Luan’s examination, some time had passed for Lincoln. Now lying in his victory undies on his bed, he was reading one of his favorite comic book issues in order to calm himself down. He really, REALLY needed some private time for himself. He wasn’t in the mood to go to Clyde anymore, nor was he in the mood for humanity in general. The last thing he needed was Clyde being incredible friendly and helpful to him as well. Well, more than usual that was.
 

In addition of locking the door, he had also blocked it with his chair, to stop anyone from coming in. When his sisters tried to do just that, worried about the state of their brother, Lincoln shouted that he was fine, pleading them to leave him alone.

“No, I just need some rest from my appointment with Doc Dunce,” he explained when they asked if he was angry with them, even though that was not quite true.

Considering all the things that had happened, he was quite frustrated with his sisters. Not because they were worried for him, which he interpreted still as a sign of their affection for him, but because he could no longer say how far their affection would go now. The thought of something similar to the garage incident happening again, just because he asked Leni for bringing him something to eat, was scaring him. At the same time, it angered him that he did not know why any of that was happening and that, in order to avoid any more incidents, he had to limit his own personal freedom to the little room he had ever since he turned eight.
 

Still, he did his best not to latch out on his sisters, knowing that they were not themselves. Or at least he hoped so.
 

Bottom line, at the end, when Lori asked if there was anything they could do to make him feel better, all he did was ask for a sandwich, some apples and juice to drink. Partly to appease them, but also because Luan had still a point of him needing to regain some strength by nutrition. But he still insisted of Lucy just leaving it back at the door and go away. Thankfully she and the others listened with Lori reassuring him that they would let him have some peace and that he could come out whenever he felt like it.
 

Relieved about the current peace and with something in his stomach, he was reading up on his Ace Savvy comics. Unaware that it was only the calm before the next storm.

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Lori Loud was angry. And not in the “teenager getting annoyed at her younger siblings” way, but the way a parent would feel when they discovered that their child just stole money from them to buy some new toy behind their back. Only that her anger was not targeted at an offspring of hers, but her sister Luna.

Ignoring the occasional feud because of the rocker’s music being too loud while she was on the phone, Lori and Luna went along just fine in general. In fact, up until Luna embraced her “wilder” side, it was Lori who came to her aid if someone thought it was a good idea to bully the more introverted and almost “bland” sister of the family back in the older days.

But right now all she wanted to do was slap some sense in her younger sister.

“I am asking you just one more time, Luna,” she stated in her most threatening growl she could muster, “what happened in the garage?”

Both sisters were in Lori and Leni’s room, the rocker sitting on her older sister’s bed, while Lori was standing in front of her, giving the girl the best intimidating glare she could muster. A glare so intense and worked on in seventeen years of life, it could intimidate even Lola.

As such Lori was taken back quite a bit when instead of getting nervous, Luna just looked back at her defiantly.

“What happens in the garage, stays in the garage.”

Lori was having enough of it. “I swear Luna, if you don’t spill the beans in the next seconds-”

“Wait. I thought you wanted to know what she did with Linki in the garage, now you want her to waste food?”

The oldest child of the clan glanced over to Leni, who was laying on her bed and reading up one of her fashion magazines.

Lori was face palming in response and Luna smiled, being amused by Leni’s accidental joke.

“Leni, you are…. You are…!”

“I am what Lori?” asked Leni innocently.

The oldest sibling swallowed down the bile of an insulting answer.

“It is a proverb Leni, a saying,” Lori explained finally. “When you say ‘Spilling the beans’, it means that somebody should answer you truthfully.”

“Ah, like, I get it totes now!! Leni rejoiced with a big smile.

“But what happened in the garage?” Leni suddenly wanted to know. “Did you do the same thing with Lincoln we two did?”

Lori turned to Leni in shock. “What did you two do?!”

“She played my favorite composition from the movie ‘The Crow’ for me. I loved it.”

“Yes, I played music for her,” Luna confirmed. “Like I did with Lincoln.”

And if I would have had the time, maybe I would have also played with his flute…

“Did you play something by Erich Zahn?” Lucy suggested, shocking everyone with her appearance in the room. “I heard his music drives people mad, so it could have made Lincoln unconscious.”

Lori shoved her gothic sister back into the ventilation shaft from which she came. “And don’t eavesdrop again!”

After that Lori turned back to Luna to continue her interrogation. “Your clothes are wet with coke and I know that it is either the result of an accident, Lincoln wanted to spite you (which I doubt), or you did it yourself.”

And for some reason, I can only think of one reason for you to do the latter she thought with a shudder. Granted, she knew it was kind of hypocritical to think that after she bathed with her brother a little earlier but she hadn’t had anything dirty in mind as she did that. But Luna…
 

The standing ovation he gave me while still sitting…

She couldn’t possibly mean…

“Come on, Lori,” the rocker protested. “So I accidentally spilled coke over me…”

Lori had a hard time to believe the “accidental” part. Accidental would be a wet top with clear stains. Not being covered as if she took a shower with it.

“I did nothing he didn’t enjoy.”

It was Leni who raised an eyebrow at those words. “Then why did he run in his room the moment you asked him?”

Luna blinked. “Come again, sweetie?”

“I mean, when you asked him if he was fine, he just… You know, he, like, didn’t answer and just ran in his room. Like he was afraid of you,” the young fashion fan stated, not even aware of the indication in her words. Luna’s eyes on the other hand opened up in shock. She wanted to protest, but Leni, not even focusing much on what was going on and turning a page in her magazine, continued:

“Also, you are, like, acting a bit weird around him, if you ask me. Like, I could have sworn you were looking at his butt yesterday, while he was rocking at Dance Battle.”

Lori, who didn’t even know about that, was shocked. She turned her head, ready to give Luna a mouthful. But she stopped immediate when she saw the rather pale look on the brown haired girl’s face.

“I…I was just admiring…”

“His butt looks okay,” Leni interrupted her sister. “Nothing wrong with that but you stared at it like Lori stares at the butts of “Boyz will be Boyz“.
 

The rocker wanted to protest that she didn’t. That while she admittedly had stared at his booty, she did not do so in that manner. And even if she did, what was so wrong about it? It was a cute, sexy butt. So what if it belonged to her…only…brother?

“Luna? Are you okay?”

The young rocker didn’t even hear Lori’s words as in her mind she began to realize, for the first time, what she had done in the garage. She had hit on her only brother. No, scratch that. She had aroused him. And she liked doing it!

“Like, you know how mom always warned us about stranger danger? You kinda starred at him like that.”

The memory of what she had said to Lincoln as well as the scared look he gave her when she asked him later on if he was okay filled Luna’s mind. It scared her. ‘Cause the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she may have not stopped just at teasing, if she would have had the chance.
 

She started to shake, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn’t be that sexually perverted, could she?

“No… I can’t… That is… I didn’t want to scare him. I never could…“

The young girl almost choked on her words, not wanting to fully realize the truth of her actions.
 

Now Lori was worried.
 

“I only teased him,” the young rocker whimpered. “I would never do anything to hurt...why did I do that?”

She didn’t realize it, Lori thought fearfully. How couldn’t she…

Memories of what she had said in the bathtub came to the forefront in Lori’s head, making her too realize just how far she herself had gone in her affection for her little brother.

Could I… What is going on here?!

Leni, noticing Luna’s change in voice, got up, sat beside her sister and held her hand. “Hey, there is totes no reason to cry,” Leni tried to assure her sister.

“I tried to hit on Lincoln.”

Next to her Lori froze in shock at the confirmation of her assumptions. Not that she was happy about it. On the other hand, Leni was a bit confused at that statement, as she did not even consider that option.

“But you know what you did was wrong, right?”

Luna nodded shamefully.

“See? You know what you did was not okay. And I bet that Lincoln is going to forgive you, if you explain it to him.”

“You think so?” Luna asked hopefully, holding back the tears and calming down. “I don’t know what is going on with me.”

“You need a break,” Leni advised while stroking over her younger sister’s back. “A shower, some sleep and some peace. After that, everything will be clear.”

Luna inhaled and exhaled, calming down more and then smiling to Leni. “Thank you sis, I needed that.” Still it didn’t calm her completely. She had scared Lincoln with her behavior. REALLY scared him. This wasn’t a Halloween prank or something equally harmless, this was something more, something that could be damaging. Luna begged that Lincoln could forgive her for what she had done, even if she had to compose an entire Ace Savvy Opera for him just to make up for it!

Lori, who didn’t know how to continue this interrogation now, was ready to send Luna to her room. She needed time to think about her own strange feelings for her white haired sibling and how her own behavior was linked to whatever had possessed her younger sibling. But just then her smartphone made a noise, indicating she got an eMail.

“What is it Lori?” Leni asked curiously as Lori barely received eMails on her phone.

Lori took her phone out of her pocket and looked it up. Confused, she read out the message she had gotten. ““You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray?””

“You are welcome, Lori!” Leni thanked her sisters without even a hint of sarcasm, just affability.

Lori was ready to tell her that she was only quoting the message, when she saw that Luna’s face had all of sudden gone blank. Her eyes were dull, her mouth closed and her breathing low.

“Luna?”

She didn’t react.

“Are you okay?”

The young rocker turned her head over to Lori and said “You are out of your mind, you are out of control.”

“What are you talking about?” Leni wanted to know. “Lori is pretty much in con-” Next to her, Lori suddenly dropped her phone, her face as dull as Luna’s. Leni turned her head. She knew that if Lori let her phone drop, something must be wrong. “Lori?”

“I am full of feelings I can’t define,” the eldest Loud child mindlessly mumbled, before turning her attention to Leni.

“Lori, you are scaring me,” her roommate stated. “You look like you have a cold.”

Instead of answering her sister, Lori grabbed her phone and handed it to Luna. Before Leni had a chance to point out how out of character that was, Luna tapped for something online and showed it to Leni.

“What is that?” she asked. “Did you make it? Wait. I thought Lincoln lost all those pi-”

And then her eyes became just as dull as her sisters, who joined her in watching whatever was on the phone.
 

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Lucy was sitting in the ventilation shaft, writing on her poem and looking from time to time through a grit into the room of her brother, admiring the sight of him in his underwear (she didn’t really understand why she it liked so much), when she became aware of how quiet it all of sudden became. Only seconds ago she could hear her oldest siblings talking about something regarding Luna. But now there was nothing. Confused and worried, she put her pen down and crawled up to the room of her eldest siblings.
 

She wouldn’t ignore Lori’s warning on eavesdropping or spying on them on other days but this day was hardly like any other. Lori had bathed with Lincoln, Luna did something in the garage which unsettled him a lot and she had heard from Lana that Lola had tried to hypnotize Lincoln while dressed as Johnny Depp.

She was as silent as possible while crawling closer to the grid leading to the oldest sisters’ room. She peeked through it and froze in bewilderment and confusion about the things she would behold.

Her three sisters had dull, lifeless eyes, starring into nothingness like they just realized the emptiness of their own existence. This would normally have conjured a smile on Lucy’s face but the expression on her sisters looked wrong for her. Their auras seemed different, otherworldly even.

“I will go look for Lily,” Leni suddenly said in a calm and dull tone, nothing like her dimwitted sister usually spoke. “I will see you guys later.“

Leni left the room without the other two reacting in any meaningful way. Lucy continued to watch, wondering what the other two would eventually do.

As Lori finally woke up out of her daze, she took Luna’s right hand with her left, stroked with her right hand over Luna’s right arm and said: “Don’t worry about your feelings Luna, I have the same feelings for him.#

Luna came out of her daze too, her expression more hopeful now. “Really?”

“Yes,” Lori confirmed with a smile, stroking the rocker. “I don’t know what it means, but we can figure it out together, sis.”

Lucy knew that Lori wasn’t a hard-ass jerk all the time. Often annoyed and tired because of her responsibilities, age and position as second-in-command, she could act cold and mean to others. But she also had enough nice moments to balance that out.

But this was… The body language, the tone of her voice… This wasn’t simply being nice to somebody. This was something different, intimidate. Not the kind she had ever encountered with any of her relatives, it was more akin how characters in the “Vampires of Melancholia” series acted.

Now that she thought about it, how her parents did not take those books away from her, an eight year old, was kind of baffling.

Below her, Lori was now gently stroking Luna’s cheek, looking into her sister’s eyes with a level of adoration she had never before. She loved Luna, but now… She didn’t know why, but something in her coke soaked state made the rocker so cute, she just wanted to hug her and never let go of her again.

“I…” began Luna and went silent immediately. She didn’t know what to say. All she knew was that she was thankful for Lori no longer being angry at her. That she wanted to make it up to her for how bratty she had acted earlier and show her how much she loved her. So she leant in closer and gave her a hug. “Thank you, gal.”

“No problem,” was all Lori had to say. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds, enjoying the presence of the other.

But then Lori had to say something.

“Luna?”

“Yes?”

“I think it is time for you to finally take a bath. You are also getting my clothes all sticky.”

The young rocker uncharacteristically blushed. “Sorry.”

Lucy, who had watched all of it, calmly crawled back through the shaft ‘till she reached her own room. Back in the confinement of her own little kingdom, she took a seat on her own bed, thinking of what she had seen. But it didn’t take long ‘till she started blinking her eyes and looked around, feeling like if something was amiss.

It took her a couple of seconds to realize that it wasn’t just something, but someone being amiss.

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Lincoln was reading up on the end of the “Supreme Ruler Trickster” arc in which Ace Savvy had to fight off against one of One Eyed Jack’s most notorious enemies, who now had gained reality warping abilities, when, much to his surprise, he heard a knock against his room’s window.
 

“Who is this? Getting up here is not easy so… Lynn?”

“Goal my brother, goal!”

He looked outside to see Lynn clinging to his window while bracing her legs against the wall. She looked like a very happy monkey hanging there like that.

He opened the window and let her in. She wasn’t even sweating. She just grinned, proud of her achievement.

“Don’t ask me to do anything with you,” Lincoln made clear. “I just want my peace.”

He knew that Lynn was very strong and a formidable fighter but he also knew that she wasn’t the type to force her wishes on others normally.

“I just want to relax with you together,” Lynn explained, punching him affectionately in the arm. “Your day was thrilling enough already.”

“I want to be alone too,” Lincoln reminded her, putting special emphasis on the word ‘Alone’.

“You know that alone time is a rarity in this house, right?” Lynn reminded her brother about one of the facts of the Loud Household. “You can’t escape us.”

Lincoln’s right eyebrow went up in surprise. “Is that a threat?”

“Oh, sorry bro,” Lynn apologized. “I just mean… You can’t expect being alone here for long.”

“I know,” Lincoln sighed in defeat. He wondered if Lynn’s more normal behavior would be as temporary as it had been with his other sisters. Then again, what could she possible pull off in his room? “You just want to spend time with me in here?”

“Yep.”

“You don’t have any favors you want to ask me?”

“Nope.”

“You are totally okay with just laying on the bed while I read my stuff?”

She shrugged her shoulders “I will probably take a nap myself.”

 He stayed away from asking for any favors except: “Just be quiet, okay?”

“Okay, Bro.”
 

Both laid down on Lincoln’s bed and the white haired wonder continued to read his comic, his sister opposite to him leaning against the bedframe and enjoying the calm atmosphere.
 

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Meanwhile, Luna was preoccupied with taking a bath to finally get all that sticky soda off her body. Not that there was any problem with that. But it was kind of odd that Lori was with her in the bathtub, scrubbing her back with a scrubbing brush. She remembered a time when she, Leni and Lori bathed together to spare water expenses or just to get them clean all at once.

It was fun even though they had to rescue Leni a few times from drowning. But they weren’t kids anymore.
 

They were using fresh water after Lincoln, and up until a few minutes ago, the twins had used the bath before but nobody put out the candles and as a result, they had burned down a bit already and the wax was dripping down the sides of the little light givers.
 

“Romantic,” Luna commented on the decorations. “Lola knows how to make a place pretty. But she overdid it with the air freshener. It smells here like in an orange plantation after a fertilization.”

“I prefer the smell of fresh cherries,” Lori told Luna while changing to a washcloth and washing Luna’s left arm. “Do you like this?”

“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Luna in a happy tone. “You are rocking the spot, sis.”

“Right arm up.”

Luna did as she was told and Lori washed clean the right arm. She sighed in relaxing enjoyment and leaned back to be closer to her sister who embraced her, cuddled her and in general gave her the comfort and love one could only get from a member of the family.
 

“Lori?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t you think this is a little bit… weird?”

“Why?” asked Lori while playing with Luna’s hair. “I’m just spending quality time with my sister. My cute tomboy of a sister.”

“But we are both naked.”

“Oh, please,” Lori responded. “Naked platonic cuddling is harmless. It is like naked platonic dancing.”

“Can we rock together while being naked?”

“No, that would just be strange,” Lori joked, laughed and Luna laughed with her.

“But you are right,” Luna admitted. “There’s nothing like a bit of quality time.”

The two leaned back together into the bathtub and against the wall.

“I wish Lincoln could see us like this… He may appreciate this harmony,” Luna thought out loud and kissed Lori’s hand. 

Lori sighed. “Me too.”

“This feels heavenly,” Luna said. “It is just so… So…”

“Perfect?”

“You get it, sis. I never felt so close to you.”

“Me neither”, Lori admitted, snuggling closer to her younger sister.

The only way this could have been even better for Luna was if Lincoln was with them, while she suddenly developed the idea for a Grammy worthy song while playing the guitar.

“I have an idea, sis.”

“What is it?” Lori asked in a curious tone. “Do you want me to wash your hair too?”

“No,” Luna denied, even though she liked the idea somewhat. “I want to say that none of us can have our brother for herself. None of us managed to get a piece of him so far. We shouldn’t fight each other to spend time with him.”
 

Lori raised an eyebrow and started to think. Luna had a point, this rivalry was pointless. It was time to play nice with her sisters and why not? They are family and they would solve it as a family.

Luna, as if she felt Lori’s train of thoughts, turned around to her sister, smiling.

“How about of instead going solo, we go together? I mean all of our sisters, not only the two of us.”

“I like where this is going, Luna,” Lori spoke out and smiled kind of deviously.

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“Not just you, dear Lori,” expressed a merry voice before an active laptop screen, congratulating itself for fixing up a potential plot threat before it could take roots. “Not just you.”

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Lincoln couldn’t believe how silent Lynn was, laying on the bed besides him. Normally she was a hyperactive, energy filled sports ace who couldn’t sit still for a few minutes without doing anything which could resemble a sport. One time she made a sport out of finishing homework first. She won but got a F- from the teacher for the unidentifiable mess she had written down. He didn’t mind though and enjoyed how Ace Savvy was fighting a bizarre looking doppelganger of himself.

He looked over from time to time to Lynn who apparently was just still laying there. He looked from the story back to her and was just about to concentrate on the next panel, when he suddenly halted.

“When did you take your socks off, Lynn?”

“It is too warm for socks, they bother my relaxing.”

The answer was good enough for the boy and he continued to read. As he looked over to Lynn again after a page, he noticed another change.

“Where are your shorts?”
 

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Leni, meanwhile, was feeding Lily in the kitchen and thinking what she could do for Lisa later on.

“Bring her along to shop for clothes? Make her a self-made dress? Like, maybe I can make her a statue of a scientific thingy like the Subway atom?”

While she was thinking and feeding Lily her favorite puree via spoon, Lori and Luna came into the kitchen, smelling fresh and looking clean.

“Leni come, we will team-up now,” Luna said. “We will share Lincoln.”

“Oh, neat!” Leni proclaimed as if her sisters telling her they were going to team up on getting Lincoln was not in any way different from telling her that they were heading out for pizza. “I will come when I’m finished with Lily.”

“She can join us,” Lori suggested. “It will be fun and beautiful.”

“Gosh, I can’t wait!” Leni squealed in joy. “Will we play another round of Awesome Wreck Siblings? Please, don’t use Chucky. Violence against babies is wrong.”

“Leni, it is okay to… Whatever,” Lori gave up and sighed. “Just come.”
 

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“Where is your shirt?”

“I never had one,” Lynn argued in a relaxed and cool manner. “I came in this way.”

“I’m sure you had one,” Lincoln said in a deadpan tone. “Don’t play me for a moron.”

“Why would I do that?” asked Lynn in an innocent/not so innocent tone.

He just ignored her. Granted, his sister in her underwear was certainly not normal and his alarm bells were ringing. But why should he judge his sister for sitting in her underwear like he did, especially if she really did nothing else then just sit there? He wasn’t a hypocrite and just decided to ignore it.

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Lori, Leni und Luna were under Lincoln’s window, changing the chocolate milk of the pool Lana dug the day before. They had to learn the hard way that chocolate milk exposed to the wrath of nature will start to smell worse than twenty of Lily’s used diapers wrapped around horse apples.

“Like, this stinks,” Leni commented while pumping the bad chocolate milk into the drain with a pump and a hose. “Like Chernobyl’s latest fashion collection.”

Luna and Lori exchanged a glance with one another, feeling that Leni had said something very inappropriate, if not even offensive.

“That is a city destroyed by a nuclear meltdown,” Luna explained who was preparing fresh chocolate milk with Lori. “Not a fashion icon.”

“But, like, there is this one designer from Los Angeles and his name really is Chernobyl,” Leni explained.

“His life must surely be an interesting one,” responded Lori in a deadpan tone.

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“What is your problem now, Lincoln?”

“You are naked!”

“And? You are in your underpants!”

“Still not naked!”

“Come on,” Lynn laughed, and snuggled up to Lincoln. “Athletes in ancient Greece were almost always naked during most of the disciplines.”

“We are not in ancient Greece!” Lincoln shouted. He was reaching the end of his tolerance for Lynn’s odd behavior.

“Nothing is wrong about two naked athletes ringing with each other,” Lynn told her brother. “Come, take off your underwear and ring with me like the old Greeks did!”

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The goth of the family was just minding her business, leaving her room as she heard several shouts and sounds of struggle from Lincoln’s room. Curious about these noises, she walked closer as the door suddenly swung open and Lucy got a face full of naked sports ace thrown against her. She tumbled together with her sister to the ground.

“Lynn.”

“Hi, Lucy.”

“AND STAY OUT!” Lincoln shouted and slammed the door with enough force to let the entire first floor quake under the impact.
 

Lucy just laid there on the ground, her naked sister above her. Despite her black hair covering more than half her face, she somehow managed to give Lynn one of the most deadpan expressions in the history of mankind.

“I think I am too young to ask what you planned,” the goth declared. “By the way, where are your clothes?”

Behind them, Lincoln’s door opened up once more. Though only long enough for the young boy to throw out the discarded clothes of his sister, which were now covering her head.

“I am heading downstairs for a snack. Do you want me to bring you something, while you put your clothes back on?”

Lynn thought hard. “A bag of chips would be nice.”

“You are aware that I am going to perform voodoo on you for whatever you did in there, right?”

Lynn gulped. Like Lincoln, she didn’t believe much in all that supernatural stuff herself. But something in her sister’s voice made her regret the decisions she just made in the last 15 minutes of her life.

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Lincoln was angry. No, scratch that. He was beyond angry. If someone had written the word “livid” on every single Ace Savvy comic page he owned at least 1000 times, they wouldn’t have even started to describe one millionth of the anger he felt right now for his family with the exception of Leni, Lisa, Lucy and Lily.
 

A time of great fortune my butt, he thought angrily, while putting his comics away and some pants on. While the day before was obviously the greatest day of fun he ever had, today was just awful. It was 4 P.M. now and so far he almost got molested by his oldest sister, mud bombed, drugged, experienced his sexual awakening in a way that would make him not want to drink a coke for the next couple of months, got checked up by NOT Dr. Patch Adams and the one vice he had, reading comics in his undies, got ruined by Lynn turning nudist for some reason.
 

To make matters worse, he didn’t even know what he was angry about in general. The fact they did all that? Or that when he actually tried to be good to them unlike yesterday, the only thing he got out of it was a series of embarrassing moments that Luan could never put online without being accused of distributing child pornography?
 

And while all the time he just wanted to vent his frustration out on… Well, anything, another suspicion began to raise its ugly head more and more in his mind.
 

He knew his sisters. He knew that they loved him and would stand up for him in times of need. But at the same time, they could make his day living hell. Pay not enough attention to them? Get convinced you are going to be put in mortal danger by a six year old and do all sorts of slave work-esque chores for your siblings. One of them losing at baseball? Be treated like a jinx to the point you are disowned by your own clan!

He had seriously been considering to call child services on them for that stunt and only the fact that his Plan-A worked made him not go through with Plan-B.

And even then, considering the entire squirrel costume thing and what came out of that…

”Well, in our family…”

“Oh cut it. Lori,” Lincoln said. “In our family, you always have to accept a little bit of sacrifice.” He said in a mocking tone, trying his best to imitate his older sister, not caring if he would anger her. “You always say that, but you know what? At the end of the day, it’s surprisingly mostly ME who has to accept a sacrifice. Why? IS it because being born with a penis means I am a designated butt monkey?”

"By now Lincoln was starting to believe, that all of this was just the most twisted, gruesome prank they ever played on him. That everyone aside of Lisa, was trying to give him what he always asked for (more attention) in the most twisted way they could think of. And if that was true, he didn’t know how to feel about them anymore."
 

After all, he had done and dealt with many things for them. Had always owned up when he did mistakes and tried, for the most part, to be level headed, instead of a trouble maker that used its status as the middle child as an excuse to lash out. He was not without his flaws, but in order to justify the kind of stunts his siblings pulled up now as righteous, he would have needed to do or say something extremely despicable.

For the first time in his life, he started to hate his siblings, a concept he really wasn’t fond of, and he was afraid that if they did not stop at once with their behavior, he was going to do or say something that would forever affect the relationship he had with them for the worst. As such he prayed to the gods above that either everyone was just going to tell him soon that he got pranked good, or that they stopped at all and they could forget all of that over the next days.

Alternatively, they shall just let me alone for the next hours to calm down, he bitterly thought, laying on his bed.

A wish that the powers of faith decided not to grant, as in that moment, the voices of three girls could be heard from outside.

“Lincoln!”

The boy in question grabbed his pillow, screamed into it for the sake of venting and only then decided to pay any attention to the voices that seemed to come from under his window.

“What?” he barked, still laying down.

“We just changed the milk in the pool,” Lori’s voice stated.

“And we decided to take a quick swim in it,” Luna’s voice added to Lori’s answer. “Care to join us?”
 

Lincoln emerged at the window in a matter of seconds.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked in a manner that made it clear he was not looking forward to any sort of sibling activity at all. “After all the bull you guys put me through, you expect me to join you in the pool?”

Below him, Luna and Lori, up to the shoulders in fresh chocolate milk, looked at each other and then back at him.

“Dude, I am sorry,” Luna said remorsefully. “I was just teasing.”

“And I only wanted to spend some quality time with my little Linki,” Lori added, while hugging Luna from behind.

Lincoln already took a deep breath, ready to tell his oldest sister how his definition of “quality time” did not involve almost getting his neck kissed by a girl more than five years older than him, as his cell phone rang.
 

Oh what now?, he thought and grabbed it from his dresser. “Yes? Hi mom. How is Danville? Fine? Nice to hear. Listen, can you…”

Lincoln wanted to ask if his mother and father could come back already. That things had gotten really weird around the Loud House and that he was not okay with it.

But then he felt very calm out of sudden. Relaxed even. The thought that he really shouldn’t try to ruin his parents’ chance to spend some alone time together entered his mind and he began to realize that asking them to sacrifice their little “vacation”  because of a prank by his sisters was really egoistic.

“Can I what, sweetie?” a voice on the other end asked.

“Can you bring me perhaps something from Danville? I heard they have great Platypus toys down there.”

“Sure thing. Are your sisters treating you good?”

A smile formed on his lips. “They’re treating me very well,” Lincoln said in a calm voice. He felt even more relaxed.

“We had a lot of fun yesterday,” he continued, remembering how they pampered him, making him feel bad for how he acted now.

“I am so glad to hear that. I know they can be a handful dear, but you know; deep down they love you. Well, I have to go now. There is a presentation regarding a new laser based drill. Have a good time. And be nice to your sisters.”

“Will be.”

Lincoln hung up. The last words of his mother rang through his head.

Be nice to your sisters

Yeah, she was right. He should be nice to his sisters. After all, they treated him well so far.

But they also drugged me and hit on m-

Be nice to your sisters

Which was probably all part of a joke. But what joke would…

Deep down they love you. Be nice to your sisters

Certainly an elaborate joke. A joke he did not think was funny.

Deep down they love you.

Then again, perhaps they didn’t know better? That seeing how he would take Luan’s pranks mostly like a man, they did not realize how hard they hit him now?

Perhaps he just needed to give them a chance.
 

Be nice to your sisters!

All he needed to do was being nice and talk to them. Make them realize how he felt. Not like he did a couple of weeks ago, but in a calm and kind fashion. They would certainly stop teasing him like that, when he was honest with them about his feelings. Then things would certainly be better, right?

Lincoln looked down his window again. He couldn’t help himself but smile at the sight of Luna and Lori being in the pool, the former splashing the latter with chocolate milk in glee.

It made him happy.

“Hey guys,” Leni’s voice could suddenly be heard. The second oldest Loud child seemed to come out of nowhere, wearing a rather cute bikini and top. In her arms she carried Lily, the young child happily giggling with a pair of floaties on her arms.

The sight of the most innocent members of his family joining Luna and Lori for a swim made Lincoln decide that perhaps it really was a good idea to join them all for a nice swim in the chocolate milk. After all, what better opportunity to tell them how he felt about their actions? Besides, he was sure Lori and Luna would not get some ideas while Lily was around.

Lincoln changed quickly from his victory undies into his victory… Well, he didn’t have really any victory bathing trunks at this point so he changed into a piece of regular ones.

He opened the window to step onto his springboard. He had to give credit to Lana; she was not only good at repairing, but also at building something.

He also liked the carvings Leni had made into the wood, showing Lincoln and his siblings in their different swimwear. Lana was against them for safety reasons but they found a compromise after they worked something out in the blueprints.

“To the sides, sisters!” Lincoln called down. “I don’t want to land on you.”

“Don’t worry,” Luna called up. “You did your landing already!”

Lincoln didn’t understand what Luna meant but he didn’t care. He decided to do a dive bomb because he hasn’t tried one so far.

“Lincoln Loud is preparing for his jump,” Luna commented, talking like a commenter during the Olympics. “He is not the most experienced jumper this season, but can he make enough points?”

“I don’t know,” Lori commented. “This is a difficult jump from the 3 meter board as Europeans would call it.”

“Like, Lincoln chose his best orange trunks for the jump,” Leni chimed in. “They look fantastic in combination with his white hair. Hey, can I say hello to mom and dad?”

“Leni we are not…” Lori started but gave up. “Yes you can!”

“Hi Mom and Dad!” Leni called into a nonexistent camera and held up Lily. “Lily also says hello to you!”

Lily just laughed happily and waved her arms and legs.

Lincoln stretched his arms out to his sides, bending his knees a few times before breathing in.

“DIVE BOMB!” he shouted with all the love he could muster for his current situation while running down the board.

Why should he complain? It was perfect.

Everything is awesome!

“Everything is awesome!” Lincoln screamed while jumping, rolling into a ball and falling into the milky chocolate to join his beloved sisters.

He reached the ground of the pool and landed on his feet, noticing a fake dorsal fin of a shark besides him, probably placed there for a prank from Luan later. He imagined how the wave he produced had hit his sisters; moistening them with delicious chocolate milk, which in turn would let their skin and hair glisten in the sun, making his beautiful sisters even more…

Why are they naked?

He didn’t notice it immediately. Lori was usually only wearing a simple bikini and Luna was more modest but neither wore anything this time. He could see everything even in the surprisingly translucent chocolate milk.

This is a beautiful sight to behold, bodies beautiful as if the Greek gods themselves had formed them. Never has somebody seen such perfect naked forms before. You feel how something around your crotch area is beginning to ha…

“NO!”

Lincoln screamed so loud it broke through the surface and surprised his sisters enough to let them gasp.

Then he appeared on the surface, screaming like Godzilla and if he would have been able to do so, he would have ignited a few houses with atomic breath.

“WHY IN THE NINE CIRCLES OF HELL ARE YOU ALL NAKED?!”

“Like, I’m not,” added Leni. “Neither is Lily.”

“Poo Poo!”

“Japanese people are naked in Japanese hot springs literally all the time,” Lori informed her brother. “It is fun.”

“And this is not censored by anyone!” Luna added.

“But… We are in public!” Lincoln stated horrified. “What if somebody sees you?”

“They will not see anything,” Lori assured her brother. “For your eyes only.”

This was it for Lincoln. At that very moment he felt something in his head snap. With any expression of bewilderment and anger on his face being suddenly replaced by serenity, he looked at his sisters with a chilling smile.

“You did it,” he stated in a calm sing song voice. “You finally did it, guys.”

The three sisters looked at each other, then back at Lincoln.

“You finally made me hate this family!”

The shock Lincoln’s statement caused to show up on their faces was something that would have made many horror directors jealous.

“Hey Luan!” Lincoln called out to no one in particular. “You have the camera rolling?”

“D-Dude,” Luna stuttered, being the first one to regain her cool. “Keep it down!”

“ZIP IT!” he shouted back at his sister

“Don’t talk to Luna like that! Leni reminded her brother. “Also, if you continue like that, you will make Lily cry.”

“I! DON’T! CARE!” he screamed. “Your sick joke is over! Over, over, OVER!”

“Lincoln, calm down,” Lori begged. “This is literally not good for your blood pressure.”

“Stop,” Lincoln said in his most serious and dire tone. “Just… Stop. I have enough of all of this. This is a joke, I know it! But it is the worst, most tasteless, despicable joke anyone has ever played on me!”

“Lincoln…” Luna spoke stunned.

“I rant about how I am underappreciated and… You are being nice to me, okay. You do everything for me, I get it. You spend a lot of money for gifts, presents and services for me so I can have the ultimate good time.”

“Like, I don’t know what your point is?” Leni asked confused.

“Why?” asked Lincoln, ignoring the question. “What is the punchline? What will be the punchline?! Will you tar and feather me? Is this your way to teach me a lesson about to be careful what I wish for? Is your plan to abandon me in the desert? Are you planning to beat me up?! Why are you doing this?!?!”

Lori looked worriedly at Lincoln: “This isn’t a joke.”

Lincoln, in response, laughed a bitter, fake and very sarcastic laugh.

“Yes, of course. And Lisa is a 50 feet tall hummingbird.”

“She is?” expressed Leni surprised. “I thought she was a little girl.”

Lily made a face palm.

“I don’t deserve this!” Lincoln shouted. “I DON’T DESERVE THIS!”

“But you deserve the be-”

“CUT IT!” Lincoln interrupted his sisters. “I doubt I will die because none of you is sad in any meaningful way and NOTHING I have ever done deserves whatever the punchline to this is!”

The sisters all got silent, even Lily was speechless.

“What is it? What did I do that you think the best way to get back at me is to pretend to be in romantic love with me?” Lincoln finally asked with his most serious and angry voice. “ANSWER ME!”

Lori, Leni and Luna looked at each other and then to Lincoln.

“What do you mean ´pretend`?” Lori asked in confusion.

Lincoln froze.

….

….

….

“What?”

“Lincoln, I am not pretending,” his oldest sibling stated softly and swam closer to him.

The young boy’s face lost all color as he could feel her hands gently touching his arms, soon followed by him feeling her right foot gently stroking his own leg affectionately, before leaning her head against his shoulder.

His face continued to lose even more color as he started to realize the ramifications.

“We love you bro,” Luna supported her sister. While he was distracted, she swam opposite to Lori. With a naughty smile on her face, she was kissing him on the cheek and gave him a hug. “With all of our hearts.”

“Like, we really love you,” Leni added and grinned like a friendly idiot in front of him. “I love you, they love you. We are a happy family…”

Leni was once again confused by her sister’s behavior. It came across a little too intimidate for her taste right now, but who was she to judge? Luna had made it clear that she wouldn’t try anything squicky right now so she never thought much about it, even if it was strange that she and Lori were naked. Leni would have also been naked but it was too risky for her doing that outdoors.

Lincoln’s brain didn’t really work after receiving the truth from his sisters. He tried to hear a lie out of their words but there was nothing which could hint at deceit.

Only one response came to his mind, one which was really a lie.

“FECAL INCIDENT!”

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Mr. Grouse, the Louds cranky neighbor, heard screams from the outside. The Louds again, he thought. What are they doing now?

He got up, opened a window on his second floor and stuck his head out.

“Hey Loud, what….”

He beheld five people. Lincoln, running away from three of his sisters, one carrying a baby while the other two were naked, shouting something about “Love with the family.”

“I am too old for this crud,” he stated while closing the window.
 

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Oogie: Welp. Now things are really escalating.
 

Maniak: We have reached harem anime level, people. Be ready for a lot of bullshit now!