To Taiji von Chacha (My dear friend Taiji) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: With love your Toshi ------------------------------- My dear friend Taiji Where have you gone? Suddenly you disappeared to a road, where no one of us can follow you. We're left behind with that hurting feeling of missing you, a good friend a brother. Taiji kun, if there was a chance to meet you again, and if it's only for a brief of moment, there are so many things I'd like to tell and ask to you. You know, this lashing out of you in the plane. That's really not your style. For sure I know, everyone of us knows about your hot temperament but we also know that you use to be kind person, if you can. You told nobody but we're all sure, that something really bad must had happen to bring you to act this way. Had it something to with the woman you used to call the black widow? I wouldn't wonder about that because you told us that she was really pissed of not to get you back. Than there was your sudden death, right after your birthday. Did you know that we got a SMS from your handy that you're ok, while you was dead already? Yocchan is sure that somebody manipulated the investigation results and he's sure that is was that woman. I can't remember her name and I hope it's ok for you, my friend. Hey Taiji kun, did you know, that Pata kun felt for you like a brother? He might not had told it to you but he tried to show it to you when ever he could and hoped that you feel about the same for him. You know hide kun is Pata kuns soulmate and you're his brother. I thought you might be happy to hear that. Yocchan never really got over your death. I'm sure, you're surprised now to hear that but remember 2011 in Yokohama. There we where the old friends we should had been very earlier. The song Without You Yocchan dedicated to hide kun but to you and his father as well. Heath kun told us, that you promised him on stage to play with him again. You really should have seen him. He was so proud and happy and really exciting. He was so hardly looking forward to work with you again and one thing I know for sure. You might had been a rebel where ever you could but you was always that kind of guy who kept his promise. Do you remember the day hide kun died? Yocchan never told you. You know how he is. He really couldn't talk about his feeling and still he can't but he was very thankfully to you, when he heard that you had come to see for him even when he didn't let you in. Today he regrade it, that he didn't. Taiji kun we had so many great times together. Do you remember in this bar when I tried a drinking contest with Pata kun? You warned me not to do so. At least I was so drunk that you'd carried me back in my hotel room. When I think back of this wild days it was a very embarrassing moment. It was a so great time, when we where together, Yocchan, hide chan, Pata kun, you and me. There are so many things I remember. This so fucking...Sorry...old studio in the cellar. The one Yocchan and hide chan found for us and where X really started. It's been so crazy days. Do you remember Taiji kun we spend the money for drinking and celebrating and at least we slept in the park, not able to afford a hotel room and than this shit mosquito. Yocchan told me about the first time, when you met that you where laughing when he asked you to join his band. And I really ask myself why the hell did you laughed about this question? Ok, at least it so typical you. Do you know, Yocchan use to visit your grave quite often and very time he brings you a glass with sake or with champagne and some cigarettes. I told him to bring you a bottle of Jack Daniels. He was laughing but said that he will think about that. Your bass, a cigarette and a glass of Jack Daniels...that had been your trademarks and for sure your unique cowboy style. By the way Taiji kun...it suited you great. Oh and I shouldn't forget about your Harley Davidson. Ooohhh...there I remember the video Celebration. Today Yocchan is sorry that you got this shoe so often on your head but he was so very pissed to be Cinderella. Normally he wanted that hide chan would play this part. To be honest Taiji kun, Yocchan was very jealous that you got the part of the rock star in this video. Normally he wanted to be at your place. Times are crazy, aren't they? So many things have changed over the years and even we have changed a lot to, but in our hearts we are still the same men we had been, when we started with X – Japan. I remember when we met Heath kun the first time. Yocchan knew him already from Extasy summer summit and also hide chan knew Heath kun from there. In that night Yocchan got the very crazy idea to go to see some cows, because he wanted to see cows. I can't remember all details but I remember that Heath kun thought about in what kind of weird band he landed. We are cray, aren't we? When I look back in this time of X – Japan, when we had been together we all had been just like kids, so more or less, expect Pata kun. He was so grown up already and been always our calming influence in our chaos and still he is this kind of guy. Heath kun really admires Pata kun for how he is. When hide chan died suddenly we all got older. Suddenly the kids we where grew up to the men we became. With your death Taiji kun suddenly another good old friend left us. What's left is an indescribable kind of emptiness in our hearts. I wish you could see how much fans you have all over the world who are still thinking of you and sharing loving memories. Even when you'd been alive I'm not sure, if you ever had been aware of how much fans you have. I don't know but in this point you always seemed to be so modest. You never really used to talk about that. In that case you are really just like Pata kun. He's about the same way. I know my friend that you surely don't want to see us cry but sometimes it's really hard. You know? It's because we miss you all so much. In my mind I see you together with hide chan as our guardian angels of X – Japan. I don't know, if I should tell Yocchan about that. I'm afraid to hurt him to much. You know how sensitive he is. Taiji kun, where ever you went to, I hope that you find happiness on the other side of life and that one day we meet again. With love your dear Toshi Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)