Love means to Care   von ---Sho---
     (when in love, you care for them...even beyond the reaches of death)
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                                  Kapitel 2: 
                                  -----------


‘NO!!! You’re...you’re lieing...that is...that cannot be true..!

The voice could be heard in the whole building.
Three weeks after they left, Yamapi returned to Japan...alone.

‘It...it is true...Kazuya had been sick for the past six years, and only got
to know it two years ago as it already was to late to do anything against it.
He...he died the day before yesterday...drifted into a peaceful sleep to never
wake up again.’

Tears were streaming down his face but his voice was calm and steady.

‘He told me to give you this.’

He handed Jin a letter.

‘He made me promise not to tell anyone.’

Then he left to meet Kitagawa-san, just as he had promised Kazuya before the
otherone went to sleep.

Jin’s fingers were trembling, cold and stiff at the same time, while he was
trying to open the envelope.
At his third attempt he was successful, he ripped the envelope open and poured
the contents onto the table ... 
a folded letter, and a ring.






My Love 

I know you hate me for what I have done and I can’t blame you for it, but I
had to do it and even though it sounds arrogant, I do not regret what I did!
Only in acting the way I did I could make sure that you would live on and that
you would one day be happy again.
To me the time with you was the most precious one in my life and I don’t
regret the least bit of it. I was blessed with knowing someone as innocent and
pure and , at some times, baka as you and I thank God for each and every second
with you.
Please, don’t be mad at Tomohisa for keeping the truth from you, I had made
him promise he wouldn’t tell anyone. And please don’t blame him for knowing
the truth, if it had been in my own hands I wouldn’t have told him at all. But
as it is, he found me one day, unconscious, lying in my own blood after cutting
myself accidently while cooking. Two days later, after I woke up from artificial
coma, he made me tell him everything.
The last time we saw each other I lied to you, I told you that I don’t love
you and that you will always be my best friend. That is the only thing I regret
in my life. It was a lie and I am so sorry for it.
Jin, I have and I always will love you. You won’t be my best friend for ever
but the One that I will always love. How I wish I had found the courage to tell
you about my feelings earlier, to confess right from the beginning, but I am
also glad that I at least did, even if it was that late.
I pray to God, that in my next life we’ll meet again. Because then I promise
I’ll recognise you and, if you let me, I’ll give you all the love I
couldn’t give you in this life and that I will never leave you.
I have one last wish, call it a request of someone who is about to start his
last journey, would you sing ‘Care’ for me?
With your voice around it is as if I am embedded  in clouds, your voice and the
song set my mind at peace.
Please, once would be more than enough ...
With this I go to sleep.
I’ll never leave you, I’ll always be around, my soul will look after you.
Please tell everyone that I am Sorry and that I love them.
I Love You Jin, I always have and always will.

Kazuya


PS: I took your ring and had it changed. Don’t be mad please.It matches mine
now and I
      don’t take mine off not even when I go to sleep.
     If, one day, you are willing to forgive me, than please wear it and my soul
will know 
    that I am being forgiven....




Jin took the ring and looked at it thoroughly. It was the pinky ring Kazuya had
once given him, the one that he had been looking for everywhere. He looked at
the inside and started to cry heavily.

~Zutto J+K~

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