Things Missing, Things Lost   von <span style='color: gray;'>abgemeldet</span>
                         (Chronicles of a Mary-Sue ^^)
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                            Graveyard Conversations
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A/N: Is eigentlich nicht direkt das nächste Kapitel, ganz im Gegenteil, es
gehört eher ans Ende, aber ich mochte es irgendwie und hab das seit langer Zeit
mal wieder auf meinem PC gefunden.

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Hey, Kate. 

It's me, Desi.

I - god, this is hard. I know why I avoided this place for the last 20 years.
But your father never knew when to stop meddling...

Right. This is not how this was supposed to happen. Let's start over.

Hey Kate. Today is the 20 anniversary (anniversary?!? Isn't that the most
innapropriate word under the circumstances?) of your death. It's been twenty
years since I last saw you. Lying on that cliff, bleeding to death. Losing my
mind over it. 

I -- I have to - I should leave. 

I just can't *do* this. 

This was a dumb idea anyway. I really need some advice and here I am, talking to
a gravestone. 

And yet, you were ... are the only person I could ever really talk to. 

I miss you so much it tears me up inside.

Valery tries, I can see that she tries. But she just wasn't *there*. She will
*never* understand it.

She doesn't know what it's like, to see half of your soul dying before your very
eyes.

The only person I could *really* talk to about this is the one I want to see the
least right now. But he would understand. I know he would. Hell, he went through
it, too. More than once.

Yes, I know that was a stupid pun. "Went through Hell". Har-dee-Har.

Oh, shut up, you.

Btw, before I completely forget it, that kid just now, the one who just left?
That was your son. Siterian. The only living reminder of you that I have left.
Which is bad, considering how much he looks like his father.

But you should probably know by now that I've always hated Sirius.

Looks aside, Terry's a good kid. Well, he's 20 years old AND he's a vampire, so
he would probably rip my head off if he heard that I'm still calling him "the
kid", but we all were like that, right?

Oh right. You didn't live to see twenty. You're just going to have to take my
word for it.

Did you know that I didn't even know you and Sirius *had* a kid until last year?
I was your best friggin' friend, we were closer than *sisters*, and you didn't
tell me you were pregnant?!? What the fuck, Katie?!?

Right. Sorry. It's just --- sometimes, I hate you.

I hate you for dying. I hate you for taking stupid risks. I hate you for
existing

I hate you because these seven years at Hogwarts where the best of my life. 

I hate you because you make me feel. I hate you because I love you. I hate you
because I miss you.

I hate you because I have to deal with all of this alone.

I hate you because I can't hate you.

...

Wow. Now I'm ripping off stupid muggle movies. Sorry about that.

Well, right *now* I hate myself because I'm so damn melodramatic.

Not that I needed any *more* reasons to hate myself. Definitely gathered a few
more items for that list since Hell Year started.

Yes, fuck you too, 1997.

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